The awakening of female "sex"
Why does the heroine keep rejecting her husband's sexual demands and prefer to be a prostitute to satisfy her sexual desires?
Why did the boyfriend's friend initially show affection to the heroine, but when he met the heroine in the brothel, he turned his head and left?
Why did the boyfriend's friend never mention to the hero that the heroine was a prostitute, but confessed to the hero when the hero was paralyzed?
The question is what the boyfriend's friend said to the heroine, the quality I admire most about you is "loyalty".
The social evaluation standard for women is "loyalty", loyalty + chastity. Included in this is the stigma of sex.
Women, "understood a very strict set of scrutiny. Deviating from this expectation (whether by external forces or spontaneously) would be self-deprecating. Generally, little girls who grow up under such scrutiny are ascetic and noble. moral victim".
The scrutiny includes not only the scrutiny of the outside world, but also the scrutiny of oneself.
When the heroine found out that she had a sexual desire, and it was a "sexual hobby" that was not easy to understand, she was at a loss, but no one could sue. She can't tell her husband because she loves her husband, so she cares about her husband's "vision", and she hopes to maintain a "good" (loyal) image in his eyes.
Regardless of the sexually open European and American countries, women's "sex" is still suppressed. In China, where sex education is seriously lacking, or even without it, "sex" repression will only deepen. How many "traditional" women are unable to face themselves and are constantly degrading themselves.
The stigma of "sex" is a yoke.
Women, our worth is not judged by "sex". Sex is not dirty. Please face up to your own sexual desire and enjoy the fun of "sex". "May all of your most unspeakable sexual fetishes have someone willing to accompany you to complete them."
Men, if your woman refuses to talk about sex, refuses to have sex, or can't enjoy sex, please try to talk to her (provided she trusts you), help her face "sex", and help her rebuild Look at the eyes of "self".
love and power
Why after the male lead is paralyzed, the female lead's "spring dream" doesn't come anymore?
Because sexual desire is only a kind of desire, what the female protagonist really lacks is power (desire for domination, possessiveness, desire for control, etc.), and the recognition of her own value. Desire dissatisfaction does not only refer to sexual desire.
When the female protagonist relies on her own value on the male protagonist, or on the love with the male protagonist, the presence of the female protagonist is determined by the family. When she was idle all day, she could not confirm her sense of worth. Her husband looks flawless, but doesn't "need" her. Being needed is also a type of desire. Only with a "sense of being needed" can a "sense of value" be established.
Women's "work", to a certain extent, is a kind of value compensation. If she can't find value elsewhere, she can only place her love in the relationship between men and women.
Thanks to the pioneers of the feminist movement, women can now go out to work, find a sense of value in their work, and don't have to look for something to "be" our men.
Thanks to the development of science and technology, women can now win with their brains and have a bigger world to explore, not just a small "home".
To a certain extent, women's "work" is also a manifestation of unease, that is, the loss of control. When a woman feels she can't control a man, and can say, "She doesn't think the man loves her anymore," she becomes very "frustrated." Instead of expressing her needs/feelings directly, she nags, complains, angers. Feelings are not addressed, and it evolves into "violent" communication.
In the Chinese marriage and love market, the existence of various love metaphysics, such as AYAWAWA, PUA, etc., I think to a large extent, is due to the lack of communication skills, intimacy and "love education" between men and women. "You are not allowed to fall in love when you go to school, and you are urged to get married as soon as you graduate" is not a joke, but a stark reality. Building intimacy requires learning. In the generation of the only child, there are more men than women in science and engineering, and more women and girls in liberal arts, which affect the normal relationship between men and women to a certain extent. I have never been in love in real life, and my imagination about "love" comes from film and television dramas. In addition, if the relationship between parents is not so harmonious, it is easy for people not to believe in "love", or in other words, they have never seen a good relationship at all. "Sample of Love".
In film and television dramas, men love appearance and women love wealth; in film and television dramas, Mary Sue and Jack Su are rampant; in film and television dramas, lightning and flint are only for a moment; in film and television dramas, only happy ever after, but never after. In film and television dramas, love is either too good or too unbearable, and there is never a middle ground. Who makes it the concentration of life and the amplification of conflict?
Thanks to my ex-boyfriend for making me realize what "good" love is. Even though we end up going our separate ways due to different life goals, I'm still grateful for the years we've been together. You taught me how fragile love is, how tough it is. It can be noisy or noisy, but it will not break up. Even after the show, it was with love and courage. It was you who taught me that love is fluid and that happiness is something I must strive for myself. It is you who gave me so much love and gave me the courage to pursue the person I love and the life I want. (Of course, it's also you who spoiled me as a princess, and no one wants it now).
Women, when you feel like you want to "do", ask yourself if it's a lack of worth or a sense of insecurity. If there is a lack of sense of value, please find a track that can prove your value, and even if you are in a daze, bravely go for it. If unease is coming, have a good chat with your man about your feelings and tell him your unease rather than "violent" condemnation. (“Nonviolent Communication” still needs to be read again, knowledge and action have not yet been unified).
Men, when your women "do", give them a big hug first, listen to their nagging, and after they have expressed their feelings and their emotions are stable, then help her figure out her real needs. Maybe she doesn't know it herself. (Or how to say, "know yourself").
PS: Emma, coding is so tiring.
PPS: No wonder Deneuve bravely stood up and suggested that METOO has a tendency to overdo it. Deneuve is great.
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