Before I watched Pieces of a Woman, I heard people say that when I watched it, I thought of Manchester by the Sea, and I already knew it was a sad movie. The beginning was a thrilling 30-minute home delivery scene. After experiencing the child's heart rate too low, the child was finally born. When the couple hugged the child with great joy, I and the midwife let out a long sigh of relief. Thought it was just a false alarm. As a result, the situation took a turn for the worse. The child briefly came into the world, his body quickly turned blue, and he was caught off guard and left. Even though I was mentally prepared, I was still stunned.
Facing the unexpected loss, the couple who were originally in love drifted apart. The heroine Martha is sad but restrained. There are no heart-piercing shots, and her cold face is full of tiredness and heartbreak. The first time she expressed her emotions intensely was when she was choosing a tombstone style for her daughter, and she disagreed with her husband on the spelling of her daughter's name. She said that the tombstone was not her daughter's name, it should be spelled in American, and her husband thought it should be Use Hungarian spelling and understatement that it's just a small detail. Martha was very angry, not so much angry, but more disappointed, she immediately picked up the clothes and turned around and left, talking about small details, you are right, these are just small details, there will be no funeral anyway, so entangled with these What a waste of time for pointless things, I have decided to donate my daughter's body to the university for medical research anyway. She is extremely lonely, and there is no one to help her. Even her husband, who once loved each other deeply, did not stand by her in the face of such suffering. He didn't agree to donate his daughter's body, he ignored Martha's objections, followed her mother's instructions to sue the midwife, and slept with the prosecutor in charge of the case. He was also sad. He ran to the beach and cried and asked why you didn't want to live. He yelled "why" at the frozen beach. But his grief was quickly diluted by cheating and alcoholism, and he couldn't sympathize with the changes in Martha's body every month when she was pregnant with the child, the reaction of her body and her inner grief after giving birth and losing her child. He invited Martha to He went on a trip with him to relax, and after being rejected, he forced Martha to sleep with her, not even giving Martha a few seconds to unzip her own zipper, violently tore her pants, and then angrily threw out, "I There is no interest at all", leaving behind Masha, who covered her face and sobbed. Facing the pain of loss, Martha adjusted herself slowly, quietly and firmly. She went back to work and then resigned, gently stroking and smelling the aroma of red apples in the supermarket, spending a long time in the bathroom shower, in the snow. Smoking in the field, peeling dark blue nail polish, dyeing the white snow, running in the snow, disposing of her daughter's body, deciding to donate her body to medical research, fighting her mother and husband, going to the bookstore to find books, going home Cut the apple cores one by one, do it step by step according to the method taught in the book, and wait for the apple cores to sprout......
This is how she faces it. And her mother thinks she's running away, her mother is a bossy middle class, she hopes she can control everything, she thinks the right way to face it is to sue the midwife, let her pay compensation, get justice; her mother said emotionally that I don't want others to comment on you , and then I don't know how many times I told her the story of her childhood, how she survived when her father was dragged to Auschwitz when she was a child, how to raise her head, defend herself, and hope that Martha would go to court like herself. Confront and express your inner feelings, otherwise you will never be able to face the pain and get out of the haze. The second time Martha expressed her emotions violently was at this point, she angrily told her mother, I was facing it, justice is the way you want it, it's what you need, not my way, not what I want Yes; you feel ashamed of me, you don't worry about what people say about me, you just want me to fit their values; I don't care what people say about me, their feelings don't matter, it matters what I think, this is about my body!
A few days ago, I just watched a video posted by a feminist blogger, Alex, after a stillbirth. She had a miscarriage after six months of pregnancy and experienced a stillbirth. In the video, she couldn’t help crying, saying I hope I can become stronger after experiencing this hardship. My friend told her that you don't have to be strong. You can do whatever you want at this time. You can be willful or unreasonable. You can spend a lot of time mourning. You don't have to have positive energy. I feel very touched. There is not much that can be given at this time, but enough time can be given to the injured person to let her grieve, cry, and fall, and then let her stand up slowly in her own way. Being forced into positive energy and being told what to do is just suffocating. Alex said that her husband was always by her side, and she always remembered her husband telling her that the hardest thing about him is that there are some things I can't help you with, and you have to adjust it by yourself. I burst into tears when I heard this. If Martha's husband also gave her a lot of company, said the most sincere words to her, and told her that I will always be by your side, but there are some things I can't understand, I can't help you, you need You pull yourself together, and they probably won't go farther and farther, and eventually fall apart, and Martha will be much less lonely and cold.
There is a very impressive detail. After losing her daughter, Martha went back to work in the company. A male colleague occupied her office. After she returned to her office confidently and without any hesitation, she went to the toilet and walked from the door to the end. The lower end saw her taking off her panties and diapers; later, she went to the mall, quietly looking at the little girl's clothes in the window, staring blankly at the little girl in the store who couldn't move her eyes, and the girl also staring blankly at her wet because of leaking milk clothes, she hurried away in embarrassment. Without a child, her physical reaction is still the same as that of other mothers who have given birth. The secret sadness, loneliness, embarrassment, and humiliation are hidden, and only she knows. Alex also said in the video that the most painful time was when her body knew that she had given birth to a child, but she did not know that the TA was dead, so the body would secrete oxytocin, the mammary gland would secrete milk, or would it still swell, Leakage of milk, what is even more uncomfortable is that I want to have a baby in my arms very, very much, I feel like I want to steal a baby to breastfeed, and I want to adopt a baby immediately. The reaction of the female body and hormones can only be experienced by women who have experienced it.
After the miscarriage, Alex was very sad and blamed himself. He wondered why others could give birth to the child safely, but not himself. Later, after she went to google, she found out that she is not a minority. Many people have experienced this kind of thing, but few people have said it. She said that she hoped to record this video and tell the story, it can help those who are also suffering the same experience. People, tell them it's not something to be ashamed of.
Last year, Meghan also disclosed the news of her miscarriage. She wrote in an article The Losses We Share in the New York Times that the grief of losing a child is huge, and 10 to 20 percent of women have experienced it. Miscarriage, but few people say it because it is taboo and comes with shame. But when someone begins to bravely tell their own miscarriage stories, the silence is broken, and other people who have experienced the same tragedy have been given permission to open up and begin to tell. Meghan had said before marrying Harry that she wanted to give more voices to women and tell more about women's experiences, and she did. Abortion is a taboo in this society, some say, and sharing their experiences with women like Meghan is an important step in de-stigmatizing and breaking down the stigma, and also sends a signal to women who have lost children as well: You can feel lonely, but you're not alone .
Talking about stillbirth and miscarriage is not only taboo in society, but also among many couples who have lost children. In an interview, screenwriter Kata Wéber mentioned that Fragments of a Woman was inspired by her experience with the miscarriage of her husband and the film's director Kornél Mundruczó, whom Wéber said she lost while pregnant children, but they don't talk about it, which is taboo even in a relationship. This movie wants to break the silence. Faced with the pain of loss, Wéber moved to Berlin alone for a while, trying to write about the experience. "I had to go away for a while to express myself, I felt deprived of my body, it wasn't my own, and I had to go away and reclaim my body through writing, which was my way of healing," she said. Later, Mundruczó looked at Wéber's notebooks about miscarriage and encouraged her to write a story, which they later made into Fragments of a Woman.
Despite her grief, Martha did not give up hope completely. She still wore a crimson coat, or red boots and a red bag, with a grim expression, holding a red apple and saving the core, waiting for the day when it sprouts. Later, under the lure of money from Martha's mother, her husband left without looking back in the snow. Martha, who lived alone, struggled and later agreed to appear in court. Martha, who appeared in court as a witness, said her daughter smelled of apples when she was born. She went from answering calmly to recalling the night she gave birth and began to cry, applying for an adjournment. Later, she went to develop photos and burst into tears when she saw the photo of herself holding her newborn daughter. The new life brought her new revelation and certainty.
Back in court, she said to the midwife, this lady didn't mean to hurt my daughter, she just wanted to deliver a healthy baby that night, I don't think it's your fault, I want to thank you for this happening. There must be a reason for this, but the reason is not in the courtroom. Then she looked at her mother who was watching the trial and said, if I stand here asking for compensation, then I'm saying that what I lost can be compensated, but it can't be compensated, I can't bring her back to life, any money, judgment, or No punishment could bring her back to life. How can I allow my pain to inflict on others? My daughter didn't come into this world for a brief moment to make me do it, and I know she wouldn't want me to do it.
She completed the confrontation with her mother and ended the tragedy, and then she scattered her daughter's ashes into the sea. It was as if she was telling her mother that she could come out in her own way and move on slowly. Like many women, she walked a dark, long, and unknown journey alone, picking up pieces that were scattered all over the place and trying to piece them together. She's slowly healing herself, but we all know there are fragments that will stay buried deep inside and accompany her on a longer journey.
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