After a long absence, the family members should be happy, but it is only a home-cooked meal, each with a glass of wine; because tomorrow is going to leave, my mother and grandma are a little sad, their faces are gloomy, and they seem to say: will you play? It's too big, can "they" take it?
The father in the film is a typical brawny man, with rough behavior on the surface, he seems to be a rough man who has just returned from prison, his eyes are gloomy, and occasionally there is urgency and unease in his words and deeds. It seems that there are twelve urgent tasks to be completed. Can't wait. But in fact, there is tenderness and love under the rough, and a warm plan is being planned under the cold face: how beautiful and thrilling I will show you. Yes, the return is first and foremost to compensate for his own children, he will use a week to try to compensate for the absence of 12 years, how is this possible!
In the film, the younger brother Ivan is sensitive, stubborn, but cowardly. He is at least 12 years old, but he does not dare to dive or fight back against the youth who attacked him; the older brother Andrei is docile by nature, but lacks personality and sense of responsibility, and has not yet become a real man. elder brother. In this way, the two children set off on the road with their long-lost father with good expectations—going on vacation.
In fact, this is an adult trip carefully planned by the father for his children. He tried to show them the beauty of nature through six days of travel, let them feel the boundless wilderness, fish by the beautiful lake, and board the lookout. Taiwan looked around the whole beautiful island, but more importantly, it was to teach them survival skills and strict discipline, to teach them how to set up a tent and how to put branches under the wheels of a car stuck in a mud puddle. Teach them the ability to cooperate (rowing) and tap their potential, all in a very rough way, which led to strong resistance and suspicion in the children, especially Ivan (as a child, parents beat and scolded them) When we were there, we often had similar thoughts of "Is it possible that I'm not their own"), after forcing him to drink alcohol on the island, he actually wrote in his diary that if he touched me again, I would kill him, And really stole his father's dagger that night. Undoubtedly, how painful it must be for a father to treat his children who have not been close to him for 12 years in this way, but only in this way. Yes, he was reluctant to create real difficulties, and he succeeded.
The adult process of a child is actually a process from unconscious (emotional) to conscious (rationalization). In my opinion, one of the important responsibilities of parents in this process is to create real difficulties and even dangers, allowing them to really take risks and experience the predicament of being isolated and helpless. At this time, the parents are at the side of the child, in fact (love) and hidden behind - it is the child's unconsciousness that enables the parents' intentions to succeed, the game is played as a war, that is, the parents must pretend to be ruthless to make the child believe it. . There may be temporary hatred, but when that threshold is crossed, the children will wake up like a dream, and then there will be only gratitude. The movie still seems to tell us that the critical point of playing like this is the safety and life of the children. If the final situation is beyond the control of the parents themselves, then the children must be guaranteed their own safety and life. )
their last stop was an island - which Dad had lived on for many years, to be sure, such as in military service. That is, on this small island, the conflict between the child and the father reached its climax. The two children were going to go fishing. The father specially gave the watch to his brother and said that he must be back before 3:30. As a result, the two children came back at 7:00 because they were playful. The father's anger can be imagined. When his father picked up the axe to cut off his brother's neck, little Ivan almost collapsed. He raised the dagger to kill his father, and ran to the watchtower, threatening to jump off. At this time, my father really tore off the "pretend" and begged all the time; since the exit of the observation deck was closed by Ivan, he tried to climb to the top from the side, but unfortunately a piece of wood that he grabbed fell off, and his father's strong body quickly followed. Falling down...
The two children were really dumbfounded. At that moment, they seemed to have grown up. The elder brother took his "father" home, organized the younger brother to transport the body, drove the boat, drove the car, and took care of the younger brother. ; The younger brother Ivan's heart is believed to be the most thrilling. He seems to suddenly understand what true fatherly love is, and realizes all the previous things. You can see his cry when his father was sinking. Father used his life to complete the impossible compensation plan.
On the other hand, in our family education, we are of course familiar with the above principles, and we routinely send our children to engage in "wild survival", but our impatient benevolence caused us to surrender in front of our children from the very beginning, and revealed this intentionally or unintentionally. It was just for fun, which caused the children to firmly control the hearts of their parents. They all seemed mature and prudent in front of their parents. They no longer seemed to believe that there were real dangers in this world, and they needed to walk by themselves. delayed. This leaves the task less to society than to the children themselves, and experience shows that what follows is a long and painful journey - the insurmountable hurdle becomes a subconscious emotion, the longer it is The bigger, always tormented him/her. If he/she is not willing to be numb, he/she can only explore and educate himself. Although there is a vague inner guidance, this self-education will be blind to some extent, and the surrounding interference will become more and more. The cost is immeasurable.
In addition, although there is another part of real adulthood, that is, the adventure of thought; but for a child, adulthood should first mean the generation of survival ability, sense of responsibility, and the perception of love, and the adventure of thought followed by After that, the final achievement should be regarded as "mature".
PS: My brother is a typical Ivan-style guy. He has a bad temper and demands a lot, but he doesn't know how hard life is. Now it seems that our "tolerance" to him has prolonged this painful stage. Now he has a girlfriend. Feeling the responsibility, the experience in the society, and the hardships, it seems to have been greatly improved than before. And I, obviously still on the road to adulthood (in this age, we seem to have a lot of young people who are still "smooth", relying on the cleverness given by God to make a living for the time being), because I have not experienced real difficulties (maybe love Will it be?), and while everything seems normal, it all seems to be vulnerable. Maybe it's time to travel and follow yourself!
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