At the age of 14, they are sexually mature and fully functional. In ancient times, they could mate and have children and become parents, but in modern society they are regarded as semi-finished products with immature bodies, minds and psychology. They have no real power and can only live in the realm of fantasy. Be a hero and become a "secondary disease".
In addition to the above contradictions, the inherent particularity of this age is that, on the one hand, as an important time point for individual development and formation, self-consciousness expands, from relying on parents to becoming independent, testing the distance and proportions between oneself and others, and the awareness of sexuality and gender. Ideas take shape quickly. From the point of view of establishing relationships, when they were young, they were protected because they were weak, and they enjoyed the unconditional love of their mothers. Especially in the case where the main characters in the film are almost all only children, mothers and children are largely one-to-one exclusive. But after leaving the family, other people in the society are not the same. Everyone’s contribution has its own conditions and limits, so everyone no longer enjoys unconditional and wholehearted love.
In this process, the relationship with parents plays an important role. A stable and strong emotional connection can help children establish a healthy personality, develop the ability to deal with emotions, form a stable sense of self, be able to tolerate separation and aggression, gain Courage to explore the outside world so that you can build stable relationships yourself and fulfill the tasks of love, mating, and marriage and parenting.
This process itself is very difficult, not to mention that many people have many defects in the growth environment, and it is difficult to complete it healthily and smoothly. So there are stories with the same double metaphors, such as "Harry Potter", "Natsume's Book of Friends", "Daddy Long Legs", etc., telling people who have lost their parents and lack of love, how to find their own field and strength, feel The love from parents, grandmothers, and caregivers creates a sense of security, makes and trusts friends, and learns to get along with others.
In the film, Shinji Ikari lost his mother since childhood, was alienated by his father, and his emotional needs could not be accommodated and responded to by his father, because he could not form a complete self, and his behavior was passive, showing a strong Oedipus complex - the lack of a mother It made him very unaccustomed to intimacy, and he was also reluctant to get along with the opposite sex. Compared with other opposite sexes, only Ayanami, who had a mother's gene, could make him express his concern; and his father's indifference made him long for recognition and complete acceptance. Nagisa Kaoru, who has made it clear that he likes him, has a strong affection for him.
But there is a new window of opportunity at 14, and sexual maturity brings emotional and sexual experiences, a new opportunity to shape oneself. In an intimate relationship, the boundaries between the other and the self are clearly and painfully defined as two or more parties probe, squeeze, rub, sting, and tear.
Ikari Shinji's coming-of-age ceremony was performed by Ayanami Rei, who represented her mother, defying her father and handing over the world to him to choose, so that he gained a sense of security and joy, and then expressed "I don't want". When he felt bad, he regretted it. "I want"; on the other hand, the appearance of gods are Ayanari with Lilith's soul and Nagisa Kaoru with Adam's soul, that is, the prototype and origin of male and female, symbolizing what parents should be like, maybe this is Ikari Perhaps what Shinji abstracted and learned from other people was the condensation of goodwill he felt.
But in the end, the real world is like this. The one who gropes, mates, matures, and spends life with you is still the same age (Asuka). She has her own world. Although she likes you a little, she also has other pursuits; there will be human beings. Treats you with synaesthesia and tenderness, but also has conditions, limitations and judgments. It will feel disgusting to you, and it is normal to express her unhappiness. This is how others should be, this is the imperfect reality, and the so-called adult is to accept the settings of this adult world.
After all, Shinji Ikari grew up and expressed his gratitude to Ayanami Rei, who represented his mother--mother is an idol destined to be broken, but the afterimage of her mother will always be the background of the adult world.
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