The loss of a loved one is overwhelming. Even though we all know we need to let go of the past, everyone deals with pain differently. So, no tolerance, no communication, the outcome is worse.
Did it ever go away? No. It changes though. The weight of it, I guess. At some point, it becomes bearable. It turns into something that you can crawl out from under and carry around like a brick in your pocket. And you even forget it for a while, but then you reach in for whatever reason, and there it is. "Right. That.", which can be awful. But not all the time.
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