Not long ago, I accidentally saw the story of the gambling king Stanley Ho and his wife Li Wanhua, and I felt a lot. Personally, I think He Li's way of dealing with interpersonal relationships can be borrowed from the various characters in [Hibernation], so as to gradually warm up and rejuvenate their lives.
He was a poor boy when he pursued Li, while Li was an authentic rich family daughter and a famous lady. The man is a handsome gentleman, and the woman is dignified and beautiful. According to the nature of a slender lady and a gentleman, the two naturally hit it off after getting to know each other and getting along. When talking about marriage, He Zeng promised Li "I will only love you one in my life, and I will only marry you." The two also lived a happy family life.
Later, with the support of the Li family and the efforts of He, He gradually made a fortune, and his interest and concern for family gradually gave way to social entertainment in his career. As the world sees more, the demand will naturally "expand", so for the purpose of physiological needs, vanity, career development (unified as: personal happiness), He Lian married the second wife, third wife and fourth wife. My concubine, and my wife, Li, guarded the time, fell into the pain of illness, lost a child, and was insane. For the rest of her life, she lived as a widow to recover from her illness.
As for Li's scenery in the first half of her life and the desolate situation in the second half of her life, most people who are soft-hearted and soft-hearted will probably think that Li is a pitiful person. A person with a strong temperament and a strong sense of justice will also feel that he is an ungrateful lover. But calm down and think about it seriously, when Li was going through illness, bereavement, and madness, what happened to his wife's illness, loss of children, and madness, just because he was a man, and he had a "new love" by his side, he felt that he was mad. Pain less than or even not painful? Is this really fair? Is the concept of gender equality really understood?
He and Li's "parting ways" and "disagreement", in my opinion, are just different ways of venting each other when faced with pressure and pain. He chose to embrace the crowd and cast a wide net to find the seemingly non-existent warmth, while Li chose to "close the country and close the country" to quietly chew on his grief. One is to make up for the loss by having it again, and the other is to refuse to have it again to avoid the possibility of losing it again (once and for all). This is the difference between courage and three views, and how much does it have to do with character? I think so because I have never seen Li's complaints against He in various reports. The parties take it calmly, how can bystanders use their so-called "injustice" to disturb their peace?
In my eyes, these two are understandable people. After experiencing some things, when they reach a certain age, there is no need to forcefully tie each other to each other if they do not need to be accommodated and cannot change, and there is no need to tie each other together. Let yourself look at each other's face in the time to live. Old and old, what else is there to look at? Is it really necessary to compare those true "who loves whom more in these years" and "you are worthy of your original confession"? Interested? For the person you once loved, shouldn't you be happy to see that they are happy again?
I guess when Li watched the brides get started again and again and the loved ones disappeared one by one, he also asked this question: did he ever love me? There is no doubt that He loved Li, at least if you think about it like this, Li's heart will feel better. Isn't love a kind of love? There are too many uncertain things in this world. With the passage of time, people will become better and worse, people’s hearts will become happy and sad, and the depth of love can’t escape the natural law of “changes”, why are you used to seeing it? Can't you and I face the fact of "change" as freely and kindly as Li?
The differences between people can never be eliminated, and the friction between people is so common that people have to eat. They can't get along, and it's difficult to understand. Maybe it's because they are too stubborn and too controlling— Trying to make one's own values become the other's beliefs. You have the sense of security brought by a small world that you are familiar with and have a comfortable arrangement. You have it, and the other party has it too. There are equal people. Why do you want to achieve harmony in your relationship by "grieving" one party and accommodating the other party? Isn't this a kind of "hegemonic"ism trying to assimilate? Whether it is passive or active, such an idea is dangerous, because "assimilation" is a wrong path, a wrong direction, and if you work hard on it, you will often get twice the result with half the effort and get half the effort.
The "original intention" behind anyone's "action" cannot stand scrutiny (including some malicious speculation), just like the views written by famous writers in [Hibernating], it is not ruled out that they are deliberately made to cater to certain audiences; A young wife who is enthusiastic about public welfare, of course, one of the purposes of her good deeds also contains elements to satisfy her own vanity: eager to improve her personal value and life meaning from the thousands of gratitude and gratitude of the recipients; the divorced elderly sister Like a judge, he critically judges all the words and deeds of the writer and his wife. At first glance of such a character, what I admired is her sharp wit and piercing joy, but after careful consideration, I realized that it represents witnessing life getting worse and worse. You and I, who become bad but only care about complaining, don't know how to manage and manage life in a timely manner, and stop losses in time, can't help but feel a little red-faced.
What is the most useless help in the world? Complaints and criticisms that only point to problems but fail to provide solutions.
The rigidity of the relationship to a frozen state is the result of people being too tolerant and too easy to put themselves in the position of victims and victims. When the wife and husband in the film look at each other through the window, the contradiction between the two is not resolved. This ending is set because the reality is like this - there are too many "discordances" between people in life. The way to break the ice still needs to be further explored... "Let each other be free" like He and Li are just a way of respecting each other's equality. When someone asked the gambling king who the four wives loved the most, He said seriously: "The one I love the most has already left before me." Perhaps, Li's letting go was the right thing to do...
View more about Winter Sleep reviews
