There is a kind of friendship in the world that is very wonderful. It is not related to blood, and it does not matter the length of time. This kind of friendship is called friendship. It's a lot like love, seeing the right eyes can become a confidant in an instant, but it's hard. Because a person will pass by countless people in his life, interact with many people, some people will stay in your life for a short time, but only a few people can have a friendship with you that can't be separated for a lifetime.
The so-called confidant is not the person who came first or the longest, but the person who never left after he came.
It's hard to find a confidant. It doesn't mean that you will become a confidant when you meet him. He also needs a spiritual fit. It's like two pieces of a puzzle, if there is any part that can't fit perfectly, you can only change another one until you find the right one.
Precisely because confidants are hard to find, being able to meet them is a great blessing in life. The friendship that appeared in the film "Unreachable" is like two puzzles, one black and one white. After careful attempts, the two people reached a high degree of spiritual harmony and gradually formed a perfect friendship volume.
On the way to the achievement of friendship, two people are involved in each other and achieve each other. It seems like an accidental beginning, but there is an inevitable connection.
"Unreachable" tells the story of Philip, a very successful writer and businessman, who was paralyzed from the neck down in a paragliding accident and had to live a "disabled" life.
Philip needs a life assistant to take care of his daily life, helping him eat, bathe, drive and more. His employee and friend Yi Fang arranged many interviews for him, and everyone who came for the interview repeatedly emphasized his professionalism in taking care of the disabled, and tried to comfort Philip that even the disabled can have a normal life.
Philip didn't choose any of these professions to care for the disabled, but took an interest in a black, inexperienced black man who was behaving oddly. The beginning of friendship begins here.
One of the inevitable: no matter what identity the other party is, respect and equality are the prerequisites for communication
The black Dale is a person with a previous criminal record. In order to meet the parole conditions, he urgently needs a work certificate, or a few stamps and signatures, so he came to Philip's house to interview a life assistant.
Dale had already had two jobs by then, but he didn't seem to have any interest in the job, just perfunctory trying to get an autograph.
There were a lot of people interviewing at Philip's house at the time, and Dale waited an hour, just like the previous two, just for an autograph. Because he was picking up his son from school, Dale, who could not wait, finally broke into the interview room to ask for an autograph. He was arrogant and rude, but it formed a strong contrast with the person who was interviewing.
The attitude of the person in the interview was obvious, that Philip was disabled and needed to be cared for, while he was professional. It is equivalent to reminding Philip all the time that he is not a normal person and that he needs special treatment. Dale is different. Although his attitude is not very friendly, he has the same attitude whether he is facing Philip in a wheelchair or Yi Fang, a normal person present. It was his attitude that made Philip interested in him because he felt true equal treatment, or respect. Dell, who originally only wanted an autograph, got this job opportunity by accident.
Schopenhauer once said - to respect everyone, no matter how humble and ridiculous he is. Remember that the same spirit as you and me lives in everyone.
Obviously Philip also understood the meaning of this sentence. He didn't mind Dale's past. He said that everyone makes mistakes. The key is, how he will choose to go on in the future.
I still remember a scene where Dale brought Philip out to buy a hot dog, the clerk asked Dale what Philip needed, and Dale said, you can ask him directly. A simple sentence, representing Dell's attitude. A person with normal mental thoughts is a normal person, and there is no need to treat them differently because of certain physical defects. Because real disabilities are often spiritual.
When you respect others, you will be respected yourself. Treating seemingly abnormal people as normal people is the education a person should have. Although Dell and Philip are from different classes, they have the same concept of doing things. They have equal dialogue, neither looking up nor looking down, which is the premise of friendship.
Inevitability 2: Understanding and encouragement are the bridges into the hearts of friends
If respect is the premise of communication, then understanding and encouragement will determine whether two people can become friends.
Philip is a super rich businessman, he has innumerable properties, but at the same time he has a lot of helplessness. His beloved wife left him in the accident, and he could only see her at midnight. Losing his wife was the most painful thing in Philip's life, but there was nothing he could do.
Dyer didn't think too much of what a rich man like Philip should do. He tried to get into his heart, understand the pain he was experiencing, and help him out of the gloom in his own way.
Dale took Philip away from the ward-like home and treated Philip as a normal person. Feeling sad and smoking, he was greedy and ate an ice cream and a few hot dogs, so that Philip, who was surrounded by pain, had a chance to breathe.
But that wasn't enough, even if Philip felt like a normal person for a moment. Afterwards, he would still close himself, and would not want to communicate with people too much, because he had fear in his heart.
On Philip's birthday, Dale and Yi Fang invited many guests and friends to Philip and planned a birthday party for him. Unsurprisingly, Philip was angry, like exposing him to the public.
But Dell's behavior was even more unexpected. He smashed the pager and completely vented his dissatisfaction. And Philip also completely broke out his long-suppressed emotions. He couldn't touch those annoying things, but he smashed those things to powder with Dale's hands. The ground was full of chaos and shocking. From that moment on, Philip said goodbye to the past and had the courage and strength to move on.
At a certain moment, we fully understand that no matter what we are at the moment, we still have the right to enjoy the beautiful moment.
Friends are like an invisible force that you can't seem to feel, but are quietly changed by it. It is the understanding of friends that opens the door closed in the bottom of the heart, and unconsciously completes the spiritual fit in the in-depth communication. And the encouragement of friends is like a pair of push hands, pushing people to what they used to fear and avoid. Step over the past and discover that you have achieved a better version of yourself.
Inevitability 3: When you hit rock bottom, he (she) will never leave you
We sometimes mistakenly think that those people who are usually good friends will definitely become confidants in life. But sometimes friends can't stand the test. When you are in a desperate situation, you will find that most people will leave you, and only a few of the few can pull you at a critical moment.
Philip once had a pen pal, who was limited to correspondence, and they knew each other through words, and they both considered each other to be rare confidants.
Dyer gave Philip a push at this time. He believed that at both ends of the letter, everyone would be curious about each other's appearance and eager to meet and communicate with him. So he made that call for Philip, and finally facilitated the two to meet.
The other party is a beautiful, elegant and temperamental lady. Although Philip never explained it in the letter, she already knew about Philip's situation and was psychologically prepared. When they first met, the two were like old friends reunited after a long absence, enjoying the food and communicating very happily. But after just one meal, the lady showed disgust in her eyes. She finally said, I have been fully prepared, but I have tried hard, but it is still unacceptable.
This blows Philip, and his renewed hope in life goes out, and he drives Dale, and then everyone, into a walking dead.
Dyer didn't go to the tirade about how you should stand up after knowing Philip's situation. He was direct, took Philip on an adventure, and Philip's heart came to life again when Dale pushed Philip onto an incomparably wide road at sunrise.
If you want a person to stand up again, use the thing that attracts the other person most to impress him; if you want a person to say goodbye to the past, let him stand up again where he fell. Dale knew Philip very well. He let Philip experience paragliding again. This time, when he flew into the air, there was no fear or sadness. He seemed to have experienced a rebirth.
This is the case with a confidant. He understands you, understands you, and can always give appropriate help or guidance at a critical moment. When you fall to the bottom, it will never abandon you, but will stretch out strong and powerful hands to let you stand up again.
Dale and Philip became confidants at a certain moment, but their friendship was not sudden, but slowly fermented like a mellow wine with a long aftertaste.
Dale found the meaning of life for Philip, and Philip found the direction of life for Dale. They made each other successful, and what seemed unreachable was actually within reach.
Everyone may experience some obstacles in their life. The meaning of friends may be that they can share when they are happy, share when they are sad, and face problems together when they encounter problems. He will appear at the right time, and he will remain silent at the right time. He will encourage you, comfort you, even scold you and laugh at you, but he will never leave you at the most difficult time.
If you have experienced the three inevitability of meeting a confidant, then you will gain a friendship that can be remembered for a lifetime.
Author/Wu Yu, reading and writing, for this life
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