Sex, lies, and videotapes, do these three together make people imagine? In fact, this movie was named "erotic", which inevitably makes people preconceived as the name suggests. But in my opinion, there is love, and there is sex, but it's not about color.
And let me, a person who doesn't know much about love, sex, and sex, dare to say a few words of gossip.
sex
1. Sexual repression vs sexual openness
The characters that attract me the most in the movie are the sisters.
My sister is beautiful and dignified, with traditional thoughts and conservative views on sex, and to some extent there is an element of sexual shame. She has never experienced orgasm, and she has no sex life with her husband, and the marriage is only a gorgeous shell. She is ashamed to talk about sex and never takes the initiative, but deep down in her heart, she has always longed to experience the pleasure of sex, and tried masturbation, but couldn't do it, because it was a shameful depravity. Her sexual energy is in a state of extreme depression.
The younger sister, on the other hand, seemed to care about nothing but whether she was happy, and her greatest joy was sex, which came to the conclusion when she was 14 years old. Now, for the greatest happiness, she can sleep with her brother-in-law, and can call her brother-in-law who is at work to have an affair at any time. In her, sexual energy is abundant and fully released.
How could such two completely different people come from the same family? Therefore, they are not like a family, they don't like each other no matter how they look at each other, and they start quarreling after a few words, especially on the topic of sex.
However, that's the way it is. The things that don't look good to the other person are often the things that you want but can't or dare not.
The elder sister thinks that the younger sister should not be so casual about sex, and this part is exactly what she lacks. She longs to experience the beauty of sex like the younger sister, but her brain tells her not to do this, because that kind of sex is bad . So she kept convincing her sister that what she was doing was wrong and that she was right in order to gain psychological balance.
And the reason why my sister is so indulgent is precisely because she knows that this is her sister's weakness. She does not have the beauty of her sister, nor is she popular, so let's beat her on this weakness of her sister, especially her brother-in-law. To start, completely occupy the man of her sister, so that her jealousy of her sister is balanced by the victory of sex.
What an amazing combination! They are like mirrors to each other, in each other, you can glimpse the hidden self, and sex is the most direct medium and expression.
2. Abstinence VS Indulgence
The two men in the film represent abstinence and indulgence, respectively.
My sister finally described her husband as an asshole, and he was indeed. In college he slept with his buddy's girlfriend, and in marriage he slept with his sister-in-law. He is like a male chimpanzee in heat (no insult to chimpanzees), he will release his own chromosomes whenever he has the chance, even at the expense of magnifying the client's pigeons and risking his own marriage.
The old classmate who suddenly visited was a weirdo. My sister's husband said that he was a completely different person from when he was in school. He didn't talk much, he was very mourning, and he wore a black shirt every day, as if there were endless funerals. No doubt he and his sister's husband were all-time, indulgent hedonists when he was in school, but now, he claims to be incompetent.
The question is, how can a man suddenly go from being a sex guru to being impotent? Obviously, Elizabeth, the woman who did not appear in the picture, was the source of his psychosexual disorder. The difference between him and his sister's husband is that he once loved a woman deeply, but indulgence and lies made him lose her, at least he thought so. So he self-castrated himself, never had sex, stopped lying, punished himself with abstinence, and proved his love.
3. Sexual openness VS indulgence & sexual repression VS abstinence
There is no need to say more about sexual openness and indulgence. It's a natural couple, and it's over. It doesn't matter what morals and ethics it is.
When sexual repression meets abstinence, the problem is more complicated.
In theory, sexual repression and abstinence together cannot stimulate any sexual energy. However, it was the low sexual energy in the abstinent man that made his sister feel close to him, because their position in the relationship is equal, so she can talk about sex with the other person in a relaxed way, and the other side doesn't care about her. fortification. However, for such a pair of men and women, when they are together, does the sex completely disappear in their hearts?
not at all. This leads to the second question.
lie
Lies can be divided into two types, one is lying to others.
There is a line in the movie that says, "Among the worst people, liars come second, and lawyers come first." Unfortunately, my sister's husband has both. Probably in the director's eyes, when the lawyer tells a lie, he may even think it is true. So he can put his clients' pigeons in a row and cheat on his wife and buddies without any guilt. This type of person is a liar, and most likes to lie sexually, and never feels that there is any problem with lying. This is his law of survival until the moment when the lie is pierced.
The second is lying to yourself, commonly known as self-deception.
Many times, people are easy to spot the problems of others, but not easy to admit their own. For example, my sister, she is obviously unhappy, she clearly wants a good sexual experience, but in order to keep herself comfortable with the status quo, she keeps lying to herself, happiness is nothing special, and sex is not that important.
Until one day, she discovered the secret of her husband's affair with her sister. The lies they conspired tore apart her lies, revealing the bloody reality. Under the grief and anger, her defense mechanism collapsed in an instant. The "good" she had always wanted to maintain ended up being defeated by the "bad" of others, and her dignity was crushed, so what's the point of such "good"? Once self-deconstruction begins, you can uncover your own lies and develop your true self.
The situation of abstinent men is more complicated. You said he lied, he didn't, you said he was telling the truth, but it wasn't. Claiming that he is incompetent, but he likes to make videos of women talking about sex. This kind of plausibility turns him into a weirdo, scaring his sister to the point that he can hardly hold the teacup, and both defense and temptation are upgraded three levels in a row.
But strictly speaking, he deceived both others and himself. He's not really impotent, but he doesn't allow himself to have sex, because sex makes him lose what he loves, so he forces himself to be an impotent. On the other hand, has he really been insulated from sex ever since? NO. When facing his beautiful sister, he still fantasizes about her orgasm. This kind of energy is innate and may dim, but it will not be extinguished.
videotape
Do people speak the truth unreservedly in front of strangers? The answer is yes, or some people will. Those secrets hidden deep in their hearts, few people will tell them in front of close people, but they will tell them in front of strangers they don't know at all. The reason is that the closer people are, the less you want to Destroying his own image in his mind, or not wanting to face the judgment and criticism of the other party, thus destroying the relationship or even losing the other party, but there is no such concern in front of strangers, as long as he listens quietly.
Talking is a primal urge, especially when you have secrets you can't tell. Therefore, the videotape of the abstinent man has many volunteers, and some even come to the door automatically. The two sisters in the film both found the abstinence man and confided their privacy to the videotape.
Talking has a special power. In the process of talking, not only the emotions and emotions are vented and flowed, but also some truths that have not been seen before can be seen clearly, so as to gain some new things and burst out different energy. This scene is vividly and vividly shown in the last scene of the film, which is very moving.
For example, my sister, she traced her sexual experience in her confession, and found that she had never really cared about any man, and all she saw was the other party's sexual organs. Suddenly she understood that the relationship between her and her brother-in-law was the same, that's all, if she looked up from the sexual organs to the man, she would find that as a man, the brother-in-law was really low to burst, and She herself is not good. This truth made her mind grow.
The elder sister is even more obvious. She has her own psychiatrist, but when she has the urge to talk, she is not looking for a psychiatrist, but an ascetic man, the one who once exchanged privacy with her. When she faced the camera, told her long-repressed secrets and revealed her true self, she gained unprecedented ease and strength, and then boldly expressed her desire for sex, and took the initiative to send out messages to the other party. Sexual invitation. For her, this is a breakthrough, but also a self-reconstruction.
The abstinent man has been filming and listening to various women about his sex for nine years, but he has never confided his secrets to anyone or asked him. His sister's sudden questioning caught him off guard. From his resistance at the beginning, to the inadvertent mention of "her", to the communication with his sister, his defenses also dissipated unconsciously, and the topic shifted from sex to love, and then again. To life, and finally to sexuality in behavior, is a healing process and a process of reconnecting with the outside world and with others.
In the movie, the sister asked the abstinent man why he wanted to make these videos, but the other party did not give an answer. Maybe he didn't know it himself, he just wanted to do it, to understand women's thoughts and attitudes towards sex. Nine years later, he tried to use the tapes to prove that he had become a different person, someone who would not hurt each other again. When he and his sister both denied the past and embraced each other in healing, he walked over and turned off the video recorder.
This is a very meaningful move. First, it shows that he did not make these videotapes for "perverted" curiosity or eccentricity. Second, the director may want to tell us that the real understanding of sexuality must not be through the videotape, but yourself. Among them, to give, to experience, to gain, and these belong to you and the two of you.
If two people can have enough honesty and good experience sexually, then the relationship can probably be maintained.
To sum up, the plot is simple, the four characters are simple, but a serious and profound topic is discussed. I think, as long as people look in, they will see their own shadow on a certain character more or less. If you don't see it, then watch it again.
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