This is the first time I have seen director Almodovar's work, and I was deeply moved after watching it. The Salwar is in his old age, and his life is full of misery due to illnesses accumulated over the years. At the beginning of the film, he described all these ailments with sight and hearing. He has a sore throat, acid reflux, tinnitus, neuralgia, headache, and joint pain. He cannot bend his spine. He cannot bend over to pick up something that has fallen on the ground. Instead, he has to put a thick pillow on the floor and kneel on his knees. Straight back on the pillow and reached out to pick it up. Salva is a successful director who has fans all over the world. In the three years following his mother's death, he had spinal surgery and was unable to create and shoot due to illness. In the past three years, he was anxious and depressed, and took a variety of drugs every day to relieve his pain and maintain a normal life. He began to want to bravely face some of the past memories and mistakes, perhaps regret. He contacted the actor who played the leading role in his movie 30 years ago. They parted ways after the filming ended. There was a lot of doubts and speculation about their relationship. This time the movie was re-screened for Salva and Federer. With the chance of reconciliation, Salva went to Federico's house to find him. In order to understand the reason for the other party's use of heroin, he began to try it. The heroin did not make him psychedelic, but relieved his pain, and he began to fall asleep. Start recalling. When he was a child, he and his mother washed clothes with his mother by the river. During that summer time, there was a breeze, sunshine, greenery, and his mother's singing. He would laugh with joy because he saw fish in the river. Every recollection in the movie is after he's taken heroin, as only a brief relaxation can begin. Because of poverty, his mother had to send him to study in seminary so that he could get a chance to study, but he didn't want to be a pastor, he didn't like seminary. The mother's often blurted "Who is this child like?" will also hurt Salva, making him feel that he is not his mother's child, because he has not grown up to be what his mother likes. For Salva, the hardest knot in his life is that he could only go to a seminary he didn't like when he was a child. He wanted to help his first love get rid of drug addiction, but no matter how much effort he put in, he couldn't save his lover's depravity. So he also hated Federico, who failed to comply with his request not to take drugs during the filming. In Salva's eyes, it was heroin that prevented Federico from being a perfect addict. And when he rewatches that movie now, he feels that Federico's acting has improved, not that he was useless 30 years ago. The unreconciled grievance with Federico became his regret. Salva failed to let his mother die in the village, as promised to be a good mother, but died in a hospital in Madrid. When he was young, he refused his mother's move to Madrid to take care of him by his side , and when his mother was dying, he failed to fulfill her mother's last wish. The relationship between him and his mother is also delicate and complicated. His mother thinks that he hated his mother forcing him to go to seminary when he was a child and did not accept his mother's wish to move to Madrid to take care of him. He thinks that his mother did not like him and abandoned him when he was a child. he. He agreed to Federico's interpretation of his novel "Addictive", but he could not say it was his work, because this work of his memory and the story between his former lover was only used by him to forget the memory of the past. When his ex-lover found him after watching Federico's performance and they kissed goodbye, he didn't stay with his ex-lover for the night because he was ready to say goodbye to the past and start over. He threw out the heroin that day, called an assistant and asked to go to the hospital.
Life is destined to have many regrets, maybe it is the hurt that others have done to us, maybe it is because our wishes have not been fulfilled, maybe it is the hurt we have done to others, maybe some things are not done perfectly, and even those beautiful things that have passed away. Memories that cannot be repeated. Only when we are brave enough to solve these knots, there are many ways to solve them. Maybe it is to publish the deepest memories in our hearts, maybe to make some compensation for those who have been hurt by ourselves, maybe to pass Creating to let go, all of these ways, when we start to try, indicate that we are already on the process of letting go. However, when I was twenty-five years old, I did not dare to disclose the hurts I suffered, the secrets in my heart, maybe when my time was running out, I would be braver to express and reconcile with the past. Only by telling the most secret and despised part of oneself is the beginning of relief.
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