If I watched this movie more than ten years ago, my feelings might not have been as profound as it is today, and of course I would still consider it a good movie. This feeling is like drinking alcohol, strong and nowhere to vent.
In my opinion, Almodovar is a cutting-edge and pioneering director. In the past, the film materials were relatively unique. The films were often filled with elements such as violence, sex, religion, etc., and he unscrupulously expressed his rebellion against the mainstream. He is also particularly good at depicting female characters, and many films are told from a female perspective, or with women as the only protagonists. This can also be called rebellion in the traditional film circle.
The shock that "Pain and Glory" brought me was not just the plot itself. It is also in the fact that I can truly feel that Almodovar, who used to joke and exaggerate, is getting old. This time, instead of teasing the world with a peculiar genre, he brought a movie about himself to reconcile with the world. The actor who plays the male lead is Banderas, the male god who made a name for himself 30 years ago. Banderas, who grew old with him, played this role perfectly. This is a movie that takes time to brew.
Friendly Reconciliation: Tolerance
A film from thirty-two years ago, restored and re-released. After the director Salvador watched it, he actually thought that the performance of the starring Alberto was very good. They had a falling out because of this play. Why did Alberto hate him so much in the first place? He was clumsy, he never acted according to the script, and more importantly, he was on drugs, which made director Salvador nauseous. But today, Salvador wants to find him to attend the re-screening with him.
When we are young, we always have many principles. When the world doesn't work according to our rules, you get angry and scoff at the outside world. Even at the risk of offending others, at the expense of breaking up friendships.
The only thing that can change this principle is time. The drama is still the drama, but after experiencing the world, your vision has changed.
It took director Saldoba thirty-two years to finally reconcile with the play. Now he can calmly go to the old friends who fell out with him back then, and even try drugs with him. They fell out because of this. Multiple physical ailments tormented him, depression and other mental illnesses did not spare him, neither filming nor writing, why not try something new.
It is inevitable that there will be such low moments in life. After experiencing setbacks and experiencing the frustrations of life, you will have more understanding and tolerance for others. Saldoba felt Alberto's persistence, and finally chose to give the autobiographical story "Addiction" to Alberto to star. Through this play-in-play "Addiction", the director's first love time when he was young was eloquently told.
Reconciliation of Love: Relief
There is no love in youth that is not vigorous. Through this play-in-play, Addiction, we learn why director Salvador hates drugs. It turned out that his young love, Federico, was in decadence because of drug addiction. Salvador, who is in love, helps him detox while writing and creating. They traveled abroad together and escaped from Madrid together. He hopes that love can save his lover, but in the end he finds that love can turn the world upside down, but it is not enough to save the beloved.
Federico left for good after abstinence, Salvador stayed in Madrid, and eventually became a world-renowned director.
This three-year love is only a short experience in their youth, but it will always be imprinted in each other's memory. Salvador did not forget, he wrote the story decades later and recorded it and made it into a play.
Federico has not forgotten, he has already married and has two children. He always pays attention to this world-renowned director and pays attention to each of his works, because every work has his shadow.
Federic returned to Madrid for business, and when he was revisiting the old place, he came across this play, and he saw himself again in the play.
Love is like this, no matter how strong the emotion at the time is, as time goes by, the emotion will gradually fade, but the memory will never be erased. The past love and hatred have long since been relieved. In the end, love has turned into a memory of my past, and my former lover has become a part of my life, inseparable.
When they reunited again, although they were no longer lovers, they were still close. Sharing life, looking at each other and smiling, their eyes are full of decades of warmth like alcohol.
Affectionate Reconciliation: Independence
The role of mother is absolutely indispensable in Almodovar's films. Salvador, the director of the film, came from a poor family and was sent to a seminary as a child. He didn't even take courses in history, geography, and science in junior high school, and spent all his time rehearsing in the choir.
This time was undoubtedly dark. Perhaps the only happy time in childhood was when I followed my mother and my neighbors and aunties to do laundry by the river, and I could hear their unbridled and free-spirited singing.
The role of the father is always missing in Almodóvar's films. In this film, the father only appears in the moving scene. Little El Salvador is teaching a mason to read, with a photo of his parents in the background, with a flashing close-up. In this photo, the parents are clearly separated from each other and are not close. The father's expression was stern, while the mother's expression was forced to cooperate.
In Almodovar's films, men's selfishness and desires are often the cause of tragedy, while women are portrayed as characters of resistance and revenge, strong and forbearing, independently taking on heavy responsibilities to save the crisis. The mother in this film is also a strong mother who is poor but insists on educating her children to read and read.
In her later years, her mother lived with El Salvador. She recalled sending El Salvador to the seminary, knowing that he was unwilling. She recalled that when she became an adult in El Salvador, she wished to move in with her children, but was unable to live with her, with great regret.
Children who work hard to cultivate, they will eventually have their own lives, and they will eventually have to be independent. For El Salvador, independence means rebellion against childhood. He hated seminary and didn't want to be a priest, but he had to attend because his family was poor. Growing up, when he was able to choose his own life, he resolutely fled. To be a film director may be a rebellion against a seminary education. Leaving home to live independently in Madrid as an adult is bound to be the choice of such a rebellious teenager.
Everyone who strives to live out oneself will have regrets in the face of their parents' complaints. I tried my best to live the way I was, but it wasn't necessarily the way my parents wanted. But that's me, I'm sorry, but have no choice.
Reconciliation of the Body: Confronting
Living the way you are is not easy. There are no shortcuts on the road to success, and all achievements come at a price. As you age, various diseases will follow you like maggots. Insomnia, laryngitis, otitis, stomach ulcers, asthma, sciatica, muscle pain, tinnitus, headaches, these ailments drive an atheist to pray to God every night.
Worse than physical pain is mental depression. Years of depression have made El Salvador feel depressed all year round and do not want to work, partly because of physical reasons, and to a greater extent because of mental depression.
Lonely night, the only thing that accompanied him was loneliness and books. This situation pushed him to drugs, which he tried to numb his pain and depression.
Miraculously, it was the visit of his first love, Federico, that prompted El Salvador to quit his drug addiction and face his physical pain. He revisited his doctor for a more aggressive treatment plan. The change seems to be a mere thought.
Federico was deeply affected by drugs back then. This visit may remind El Salvador of the self who hates drugs, the self who is still full of creative desires, and the self who wants to work day and night but can't.
As El Salvador himself said, it takes willpower to quit a drug addiction. It also takes willpower to get back to work. Physical pain is just an excuse, someone is weaker than him. Sometimes people are immersed in depression and cannot extricate themselves, just because they are unwilling to face reality.
Facing the pain of the body, the departure of my mother, and the gift of love, when I decided to step back into reality, I changed my mind only in an instant.
Reconciliation of the Self: The Return
Back on that humid, hot afternoon, little El Salvador taught the masons to read and write. That afternoon when the spring tide was surging, the little mason also used his body to bring a sexual awakening to El Salvador. The mutual gifts in the world have happened so wonderfully.
This cave house, in the hands of the little mason, became bright, new, and colorful. This bright home is a bright color of childhood for Saldoba, who lives in a dark seminary.
The picture drawn for him by the little mason who loves to paint suddenly appeared. This painting, which lasted fifty years, went through old newsstands and art galleries, and suddenly appeared in front of Saldoba, as if it was a gift from God.
The old man from fifty years ago is nowhere to be found. But that doesn't matter anymore, what matters is that this painting, which was sent to him fifty years ago, has finally been received. I have no regrets for the little mason, and I have no regrets for all the lovers and relatives who have left him. Because of all the good memories that exist in his mind, director Saldoba will write them into a story.
The final scene, the touching final scene, I want to leave the suspense for the reader to feel for himself. In an unexpected twist, the film heralds the return of director Salvador.
How short is time! How wonderful is life! The quarrel 30 years ago was only for today's reunion. The love 30 years ago is just for the memories of today. The mother who has been with her all her life, the only thing she wants to keep as a souvenir is the log ball used for patching socks, the log ball that condenses her life’s work, and I don’t know how many clothes and socks she has patched!
And Almodovar's 50-year creative career may be just for this movie, a warm feature film reviewing his life.
"All my films represent me, but this time I go further, and in them is my soul." - Pedro Almodóvar
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