To be clear, Phoenix died as early as the night of October 31, 1993, at a midnight club run by his good friend Johnny Depp, caused by an overdose of a mixture of heroin and cocaine. of bodily failure. And on that night of that year, nine times out of ten, I spent the night in the crowded red-brick classroom in my hometown for self-study and calculus for mock exams. I was sure my mind was chaotic and my mind was isolated. I didn’t even know who River Phoenix was. Not to mention My Own Idaho. Now, the "Death of Phoenix" is almost known to everyone, and people seem to pay more attention to the savageness and madness of the last night. In other words, in this era, we are only obsessed with the chaotic and collapsed ending, but avoid talking about the fatal cause and effect. So my empty assumptions about this actor who died of youth at the age of 23 and therefore had few works are mostly derived from the only work I have seen and the "sudden death of a popular Hollywood guy" in 1993. As for everything behind the scenes Everything is like a colorful bubble, despite its imaginary beauty and psychedelics, it is terrifying to burst it and face a terrifying blank space.
Why did Phoenix end up like this? In the movie, there is a reason for the death of the self-exiled male prostitute, such as the lack of a mother, the broken family, the distortion of love, the cruelty of reality, etc. Everything is lurking on the side of the road of growth, waiting for the best time for chaos, and finally Pounce on youth and murder it. That's the way the movie is. It will find a reason for everything to disappear, and then it will become a discussion point for us to reflect or criticize. But at the end of the day, we still can't find the solution to life's problems, or, in other words, movies are one thing, reality is another, so I ask "Why did Phoenix end up like this?" (this It's like asking yourself.) Was Phoenix an unfortunate childhood? Did Phoenix refuse to grow up? Has Phoenix heard of or witnessed any mentally mutated accident? Could it be said that Phoenix was born with such a fractured trait? There is no way to know, because no one has written a biography for Phoenix. His glory before his fall could not match the brightness of the sexy hero James Dean, but the era he lived in was more painful and happier than the black and white years. In fact, a movie and a biography often bring people more questions, and the center of the question is "Is this person really formed like this?" - No one is qualified to fill in the blanks for others to analyze their hearts , whether you're a filmmaker, a writer, or a psychiatrist, because you're never as great, wise, and sober as outsiders imagine you to be -- unless that "other" is you.
Therefore, I am more and more confused, not only confused by the causes of others, but also more confused by my own current situation. I often want to bypass my bad emotions and physical symptoms to look around the world that should be prosperous and enriched, trying to find comfort and hope in it, and then under the guidance of bright light to become a different advanced recorder from myself, but it often backfires , Seeing that the mountains and mountains are more desolate, and seeing that the waters and waters are cooler, the dead gray shadows between the mountains and rivers are about to disappear. For a person who lacks self-control and a sense of existence, the so-called effort and struggle will only aggravate the fear and anxiety of the self, and then form a more irreversible obstacle. The obstacles grew like a snowball, and finally all the escape routes were blocked, so I could only sigh deeply, blame others, and attribute everything to the "arrangement of fate". This is actually a kind of fiasco. I lost to myself, my heart, and even lost control, so I became mad and messy, and both spirit and flesh refused to play again, and it was finally destroyed. This is a relatively simple and clear overall process, but every cell and every vein is so subtle and unpredictable. It looks peaceful on the surface, but in fact it is shrinking and bursting one by one. , no matter how strong your endurance is, you will still be incompetent. And those who can endure, even if you say they are numb and strong, in fact, you are not wondering and jealous in your heart, wondering how healthy and prosperous they look, and jealous of their simple happiness... Quietly, you will do it again defeated by fate.
This is indeed related to the individual. Science, philosophy, literature, sociology, and psychology cannot explain the fate of the individual. The influence of the times is only a far-fetched external cause in my opinion. In the category of fate, some individuals are always hovering between normality and collapse, with the abyss in front and the grassland in the back, but he does not go anywhere, just standing alone at the intersection of wind and frost, fascinated; some Yes, suddenly a smile appeared on his face, as if he had figured out everything, and then turned around and walked towards the grassland briskly, seeing cattle and sheep, and hearing pastoral songs; It was the last jump in their lives, but they experienced unprecedented hallucinations and climaxes in the process of falling. Frost, prairie, hallucination and orgasm, pain, tranquility, destruction and depravity, if you still had thoughts, which one would you choose?
In fact, these descriptions are unnecessary. In fact, everyone should understand that they have no choice. I mean, the end of thinking is often a rush of self-denial and denial of everything. Life is like dust, why make false statements. How many people have already cut everything off after verification. Yasunari Kawabata went to pursue the snow country in his dreams, but he didn’t kill himself with gas in the end; Hemingway went to resist the world, but he didn’t blow his head off with a pistol in the end; Mayakovsky went to praise the great revolution, but he didn’t shoot with bullets in the end The heart that has been worn... In those days when drug dependence and drugs were not popular, they originally wanted to choose the grassland, but finally fell into the abyss. Unfortunately, they did not even experience the last hallucination and orgasm. Goodbye, at this point, how happy the current cliff jumpers and those who will be jumping off the cliff should be.
So, like most people, sometimes I also imagine the climax of escape, what kind of state of separation of the soul and flesh, ecstasy and superego? Also like most people, this fantasy of mine has no empirical basis, so I will turn it to speculation about the great addict stars who have been exposed, all because of our appearance of course The sanctimonious but hysterical media era is the gift of the entertainment era. I don't mean to scold this era, and I don't mean to scold people, because all the characters are actually the same raccoon dog. isn't it?
Use your blunt brain for a long time to develop the associations that are both real and illusory. You can imagine the dark night club on October 31, 1993, with loud music, crazy men and women, and an overdose of Phoenix lying in a gloomy corner. Foam twitches, and in another room, his good friend Johnny Depp is suffocating; going back in time, Polanski and Jack Nicholson Smoking marijuana in a million dollar mansion is on the verge of madness, and an underage girl will be sent to the altar of life by these two beasts; and our little cutie, Drew Barrymore, who adopted ET, she is under ten years old It was already star-studded, but it didn't take long for her to become a problem girl who was addicted to snuff, marijuana and alcohol, which made many people sigh; and famous drug users Robert Downey Jr., Steve Mack Quinn, as well as the indefatigable alcoholic Ben Affleck, Al Pacino, Christy Brando...
Dazzling and overwhelming, we have to be surprised at what kind of world we are facing, and how many dead souls are floating in it. But don't forget, don't forget, you and I are actually living in this world and living in this world, you and I are not actually bystanders but people in the play, you and I are not more sober or pure than anyone else, you and I are actually not One less pain and no more joy, maybe, if I give you and me a chance, you and I will fall down and ecstasy at the fastest speed, because everyone understands that we have lost our past and present lives, and we have nowhere to go. On the way to go, we can only give up, give up...
Or, let a mutation in life take away the soul, destroy the body, and leave the world a legend of Nirvana, just like RIVER PHOENIX. God, RIVER, PHOENIX, his parents must be a pair of lunatics, otherwise they wouldn't have given him such a crazy name. So in the final analysis, it is God’s will, otherwise you can’t think of a good reason and a good ending--in the horizon of God, the rays of the sun are just beginning to appear, a phoenix is flying along the river, it vibrates its brilliant wings, and its appearance is indescribable; suddenly Overcast clouds, thunder and lightning, the fragile phoenix could not resist the sudden changes in the voyage, its wings were wet, and the heart was exhausted. After the rain fell, before the sky was clear, the phoenix finally fell into the river and drowned. Even after the rain, the sun shines brightly, even showing a magnificent rainbow, but that phoenix, it can't see anything.
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