Fortunately, I watched it by myself, because I couldn't stop crying after seeing it.
Vincent died with what anguish, loneliness and despair! His love for painting, his unusual sensitivity to the world, his self-doubt and torture when he had bipolar disorder, the incomprehension and strange vision of the people around him... After seeing the whole film, I felt infinitely sad. He's not a monster, he's not trash, he's just sick, and, he's talented.
The second half of the episode made me feel extremely distressed, the kind of deep-rooted loneliness and the expectation of reaching out and grasping the world, the kind of love and guilt for my brother, the kind of disgust and guilt that I wanted to express my kindness and love but couldn't get it to work. drive away... oh
Especially, when the doctor went to see his injuries, he said "maybe this is good for everyone", and the tears were out of control. Did he do something wrong? Because of poor social interaction and behaviors that are different from ordinary people, they are disliked and ostracized by others. He painted desperately, capturing his cognition and pictures of the world, and to prove that he was not a waste as soon as possible, in order not to continue to let his younger brother bear the burden of him. His feelings about the world are so delicate, the crow that robbed him of his food can make him happy. The boatman said, "How lonely this person must be!"
Yes, how lonely he is! His world, his emotions, the way he communicates with the world, almost no one understands, and he silently endures these unspeakable loneliness. At the same time, those "normal people" have to "sentence" him because he is different, laugh at him, despise him, tease him and drive him away...
As a man with bipolar disorder, the most likely and most lethal thought during a depression attack is "I'm useless", Vincent bears these, and at the same time bears a heavy sense of guilt-- The younger brother covered his main expenses. He didn't want to be a burden, and he also wanted to prove that he was not useless, but he worked so hard to paint like crazy, and bravely persevered in pain. What was the result?
In the movie, his death was intentionally pointed to "homicide", but due to his kindness, he did not report it. However, suicide is also very possible. He has persisted in pain and darkness for too long. Although it is not his fault, the feeling of despair and helplessness will really kill people.
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