When the two-child policy first became popular, I was anxiously awaiting the birth of my first baby in the delivery room.
My belly was so big that I couldn't see my feet at all. When the labor pains begin, follow the doctor's advice and walk slowly around the room. The contractions seemed to tell me that there was a price to pay for the birth of a new life. Although it is your own decision to create him.
However, dramatically, at the moment when I was completely ready to take my life, the doctor said that the amniotic fluid was too low and suggested a caesarean section. I realized that I was not ready, and my tense heart suddenly fell to the ground. It didn't take ten minutes to discuss with the whole family, go to sign, and sign the various forms very happily. Fortunately, the current medical treatment is good enough, and caesarean section is relatively safe.
It only took dozens of minutes to get in and out of the operating room. The doctors and nurses were very relaxed, chatting and laughing beside me. After a while, with a loud cry, my son came to my side. Tears suddenly poured out, and all kinds of complicated emotions flooded into my heart.
At that moment, I really became a mother.
At that moment, I had to say goodbye to my younger self.
Like Tully, drinking a cup of decaf is a luxury, and you can't take too much salt while breastfeeding, so my family keeps cooking me tasteless chicken soup, and very strange kinds of soups. The baby sucks hard every time, so I always scab, the new scab is not healed, and he sucks out the new scar. Once, he fell asleep after drinking, and suddenly coughed up milk and vomited blood on the pillow. It turned out that I was bleeding without knowing it, and the pain was numb.
Even in this situation, by the time it was almost two months, the milk was almost gone. In desperation, I gave him milk powder.
During that time, I admit that I was a little depressed. Every day, I can't swallow, pinching my nose and pouring soup. Unstable sleep at night, I have to breastfeed again, I have to use a pump to suck out the rest after feeding, I have a lump in my chest, and I collapse and cry in pain. My mother, who has always been so loving to me, rebuked me and said, just bear with it for a while, that's how it came.
After a few days, I was able to go down to hold the baby. She said in good spirits, let's have a second child, the child is not alone.
I finally couldn't help but turn against her, I will never have a second child, and I won't mention it again in the future.
Mother looked at me, lowered her head and pretended to tease her son, and stopped talking.
I know she likes children. When she was a little younger, she suffered from no money to support her because of an unexpected pregnancy, because she could not violate the policy. So reluctantly gave up. But my mother, who has a dozen siblings, may have wanted my children to experience this joy too.
But at that time, I had exhausted all my strength, experienced unprecedented terror, and could not come back.
Of course I love my son. I am willing to give him all the love in this life for free. Even if my life is to be exchanged, I will not begrudge it. But at the same time, I told myself that it was enough to have him. The world is so turbulent, just a baby is so exhausting, and a baby alone takes all my energy, I can't imagine an extra responsibility, whether I can do it. Can I be like Tali, always like a soldier, armed with a machine gun, 24/7 alert to threats from this world.
Girls, especially those who are married but not pregnant. You must remember! sure! The thing to remember is that in this world, no one can make decisions for you, and no one can give you a lifetime of comprehensiveness. Even family members, they can't help but like you, and by the way promise to like your children. It's not that I don't want you to believe it, but I want you to think calmly. You want children because you like it, you want to leave a bright little sun for your lover, and you want to continue to live brightly with joy. Even if the whole world turns its back on you, you can pick up this responsibility by yourself and become his umbrella.
Whether you want to have a baby or not, whether you want to have a second child or not, the mother has the final say.
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