As an old mother of two children, in addition to the daily breakdown, I can occasionally enjoy the warm benefits from the brothers and sisters. When the heart is warm, the mind tends to get hot, and I can't help but ask the old mothers around me a question: "When will you have a second child?"
Often, the question can only be exchanged for a silent glance. But a few days ago, I got a very shocking answer.
The old mother said this: "Second child? I have it, my husband is."
A sharp spring breeze brushed my back, and I swore I would never ask other old mothers this question again.
Just watch a movie together.
Movies are dreams and reflections of life.
"Tully" (Taiwan's translation of "The Diary of a World-weary Mommy") tells the story of a middle-aged and elderly American mother, Ms. Marlow, who gave birth to three children in a row and failed to inspire her husband's growth. , completes the story of self-redemption through schizophrenia.
No thriller, no suspense, no murder, no memory loss.
It's all bits and pieces of real life.
But it also has a more thrilling power. Listen to thunder in a silent place, my friends.
The director insisted that he made a comedy, but I think whether it is sad or happy, the one who has the most say is our old mother.
The old mother, Maro, was born in 1977. Graduated in English Literature. After living in a chaotic neighborhood in Brooklyn for nine years, and then supposedly changing fate with knowledge, he was the personnel manager of a company that made protein bars. Now a stay-at-home mom. The eldest daughter is eight years old, the second son is six years old (with emotional problems), and the third child is about to die. By the way, she also has a husband.
The actor who plays Marlow is Charlize Theron, a Hollywood superwoman. Unwilling to be limited by beauty, he once starred in the movie "The Devil", pulling the actress' self-destruction image to the ceiling of a skyscraper, and swept almost all the best actresses in 2004 and 2005 with this role. awards.
14 years later, she once again added dozens of pounds to the character, and used her life to interpret a female elegy "In case of encountering a pig teammate, even the devil will be schizophrenic".
There is such a big difference before and after marriage. Is it self-abuse, or is there another secret? Let's unpack Marlow's married life and inner life.
◎ husband
As a husband, the most important required course is probably "How to make yourself look particularly innocent from the inside out, so as to reasonably avoid parenting and reasonably ignore the needs of your wife".
Marlow's husband is the class representative for this class.
First, he has a very innocent face.
Second, he succeeded in keeping his mind in adolescence. The specific performance is as follows.
"Your brother bought a new car and is richer than me,
Your sister-in-law thinks she knows life well and still sells us her way of life,
This shows that she always wants to be above us.
These annoy me.
I am a fragile and fragile man, you have to think more about my feelings.
What? How do you feel?
Hey, aren't you always invincible and strong?
Well, I'm going to play games. It's been a hard day's work, and I'm really exhausted. "
Third, he has a magical ability to stay out of the situation anytime, anywhere.
Take three small chestnuts.
When Maro, who was about to give birth, was exhausted physically and mentally, and expressed to him, "I hope that after the third child is born, you can help me a lot at night", he said sincerely and sincerely: "It's not that I don't want to wake up, but What's the use of me getting up, and I don't have breasts."
When Marlow said she had hired a night babysitter, but the babysitter looked weird, he said, "Then you think it's okay for your daughter to be alone with her, right?" Maro said it should be fine, and he was happy Put on the headphones and play the game.
When Marlo was driven into the river, fished out and sent to the hospital, facing the doctor's diagnosis of "extreme fatigue and extreme lack of sleep", he was very puzzled: "Impossible, she has already hired a reliable night nanny. , but to be honest, I really don't know her very well."
Seeing this, I guess there will definitely be old mothers jumping and roaring. The virtue of my husband is that his wife is used to it! Besides, I have already given birth to two children, I still don't know what kind of person my husband is, and I continue to have the third child with him. Isn't this looking for guilt for myself?
Let's take a look inside Marlow's inner world.
◎ Maro
As a woman with a degree in English literature, working in HR for many years, and then returning home to be a stay-at-home mom, Marlow has prepared the necessary conditions for schizophrenia for the elderly mothers represented by her:
I want to regain my youthful vitality and good mood, and I want to be a 24-hour perfect mother. I can't believe anyone but myself. I should take care of all my family members... I just forgot that I am only flesh and blood.
So here comes the question, it's easy to understand pampering the child, why should she even pamper her husband?
Because she has requirements for herself and longing for happiness.
In other words, she is very identified with that kind of "transcendent love".
Why do you say that? Because she often watches cartoons about the little mermaid alone late at night.
If you want to understand Marlow's inner life, you must revisit Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tale "The Daughter of the Sea".
The little mermaid is the youngest princess in the Neptune family. When she was a child, her biggest dream was to grow up quickly, like her sisters, and float to the sea to see the world of humans (adults).
After a long wait, the day has finally come. Xiao Wu floats to the surface and falls in love with the human prince. Since then, she has tasted the joys and sorrows of the world, and because of this she has a bigger dream - to have an immortal human soul that a mermaid can't have.
So, she sold her ability to speak (Maro was often speechless and aphasia), and was willing to be disabled for love (Maro's body was severely out of shape due to fatigue and pregnancy, and the degree of disability was no less than splitting her tail and changing her legs. ), and saved the prince's life at the beach.
However, the prince was unaware of this and turned to marry another woman. That is to say, since Xiao Wu has become a human being, he has to bear the price that human beings must bear, such as the pain of childbirth, the loneliness of parenting, the neglect and even betrayal of his lover (Maro's husband married a job and a game console).
Because of not getting the love of human beings, Xiao Wu faces death. Her sisters brought her a knife and told her to kill the prince so that she could return to the sea as a mermaid again, and borrow another three hundred years from the sky.
In the elementary school textbooks of our old mothers, this story was abridged, and the little mermaid turned into a tragic female virtue bubble, tumbled beside the prince and his wife's big boat, and disappeared for a while.
But Andersen didn't write it like this. At the end of the original book, the little mermaid smiled at the prince, kissed his wife's forehead, and then turned into a "daughter of the sky" and went to the sky to love everyone in the world.
The little mermaid that appears repeatedly in Maro's dreams is herself before adulthood.
The night-time nanny "Tully" imagined by Maro is herself who has become an adult woman and has experienced the pain of marriage and childbirth, but she can still live with the best love and courage.
Mermaid and Tully are both Maro, Maro's expectation and pursuit of "eternal love" and "eternal love".
Marlow not only loves her husband and three children with her life, but also wants to love them in her best condition: clean and tidy and beautiful on the outside; emotionally stable and happy; everything in the house is in order; Abundant and delicious food, not only do not miss the children's activities, but also can bring out cute little desserts; at night, put on the fast food restaurant uniform that can make my husband the most elated, and give him a big surprise...
◎ Tully
In the movie, it all comes to fruition, all done for Marlow by the incredibly caring night-time nanny "Tully".
"Tully" has a flat stomach, a slender waist, a big smile, nuanced insight and a strong sense of empathy.
She said to Marlow, "I'm here to take care of you because you're a baby now, and even though the baby was born, her DNA is still in your body."
Marlow didn't look at her, just turned her back and said, "It's been a long time since no one paid such attention to me."
"Tully" asked Marlo to sleep well, accompany Marlo to drink and chat about her dreams, and sincerely suggested Marlo to have a good talk with her husband, just like our old mother's close friends would do.
One scene that broke my heart was in a nightclub. Instigated by "Tully", Marlow drove dozens of miles to drink at bars near Brooklyn. Because she had been away from the baby for a long time, Maro began to have severe breastfeeding, the pain was unbearable, and she couldn't take it any longer.
In the cramped toilet whose walls were covered in swear words, "Tully" used a stack of wet toilet paper to imitate a baby's sucking, helping Marlow to relieve the most private and most direct pain in the soul of all old mothers.
Later, on the way back, Maro fell asleep in her car and rushed into the river, symbolizing the return of the merman who was exhausted in the world to the sea.
"Tully" and the merman were one here, and she swam over, unbuckled the drowning Maro, and escorted her back to the surface by herself.
This is the "second rite of passage" not written in Andersen's original book.
Marlow made a second choice for her life: keep on loving.
This time, Marlow had many wounds on her face, just like the little stickers on her face on the poster, full of unspeakable love and pain.
◎ husband
Marlow and Tully say their final goodbyes in the aftermath of the ward.
The husband who finally got the truth from the doctor came in, and he said aggrievedly that he didn't want "that kind of good", and Marlow was enough, because "I love us".
You see, after going through so much, I still can't get the words "I love you" from my husband.
Marlow had to say, "I love us too."
Then reach out and hug the sobbing giant baby.
The camera jumps to Marlow's side, echoing the one in the first scene of the film.
Thanks to screenwriter Diablo Coty, who I believe did not let the film end here.
At the end of the film, Marlow's second son, Johnny, who has some emotional problems, says "I love you" to his mother in the honey-colored morning light.
Even her husband began to help Marlo carry the baby, and stood side by side with Marlo in the kitchen.
But did he really understand Marlow's love?
Andersen told us, it's not that easy.
Yes, after all, women are creatures who constantly want to make themselves better. Men, we women don't know much about it.
(This article was first published on the WeChat public account "Qinfaner". ID: fanpianer2019)
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