Filial piety, easy to say, not easy to do

Kiley 2022-04-19 09:02:12

I think of the movie that my teacher played in class on Mother's Day many years ago, "Tokyo Story" by Yasujiro Ozu. At that time, the teacher mentioned an article by Zhang Xiaoxiang of the Department of Philosophy on the filial piety of Chinese people, and said that an old teacher in the department insisted on going home before 9 pm every day to accompany his elderly father, with a rare serious expression. For a while, he stopped, was silent for a long time, and then continued talking. He was very tired, a little nervous, and it seemed that he could not control his emotions. There was an abnormal silence below. "The tree wants to be quiet but the wind doesn't stop, the child wants to be raised but the family doesn't wait." All the regrets and sorrows are condensed in these two sentences, and I can't bear to listen to it.
Then came the screening of "Tokyo Story", a film from the 1960s, black and white, with a simple plot: a pair of elderly parents go to Tokyo to visit their children; a few characters: parents, a daughter's family, a son's family, Daughter-in-law of deceased husband. The impatient expressions of the daughter and son are still clearly discernible in their minds. Their busy work and life cannot accommodate these two elderly parents, one practicing medicine and the other opening a barber shop, and the promise to accompany their parents to visit Tokyo has been delayed again and again. It was dragged and finally pushed to the daughter-in-law who was alone. The arrival of the parents was only trouble for them. They couldn't stop the business and couldn't separate themselves. In desperation, they arranged for the parents to travel to the seaside. But the seaside is a paradise for young people, swimming, singing, playing cards, and playing all night. In the hotel where there was a lot of noise every night, only my parents were lying on the tatami, unable to fall asleep tossing and turning, and they returned to Tokyo the next morning. Seeing her parents come back early, her daughter was extremely disappointed, and the originally arranged party was disrupted by them. The daughter's reproaches and complaints made the parents uneasy, so that night, the mother went to the hut where the daughter-in-law was alone, and the father went to find an old friend. What came again was the resentment of her daughter. The parents’ few days in Tokyo passed like this, and they decided to go back to their hometown. The children finally breathed a sigh of relief. In the waiting hall before leaving, the old mother thoughtfully explained to the children in front of her the reason for leaving Beijing, "I feel that my body is not as good as the day before, and I want to see them again..." The old man's hunch was probably To be most accurate, the mother suffered a heart attack and collapsed on the train home. When the children arrived, the mother had already left, leaving the old and stubborn old father alone, staring out the window in a daze. It didn't take long for the children to leave, busy with their work, but the daughter-in-law, who had no blood relatives, stayed for many days to give some comfort to the father who had just lost his wife.
When the film ended, the audience was silent, and the teacher stepped onto the podium in the dark. At that time, my mind wandered, and I didn't even remember what he said. I just felt sad, unable to speak, and the corners of my eyes were wet. In the busy and chaotic reality, the heaviest and deepest family love is often easily overlooked by people. No, although I can't blame the children in the film, but in urban life, when busy with my own livelihood, an indifferent and numb heart always grows so easily
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Extended Reading

Tokyo Story quotes

  • Kyoko: [after the rest of the family had left] I think they should have stayed a bit longer.

    Noriko: But they're busy.

    Kyoko: They're selfish. Demanding things and leaving like this.

    Noriko: They have their own affairs.

    Kyoko: But you have yours too. They're selfish.

    Noriko: But Kyoko...

    Kyoko: Wanting her clothes right after her death. I felt so sorry for poor mother. Even strangers would have been more considerate!

    Noriko: But look Kyoko. At your age I thought so too. But children do drift away from their parents. A woman has her own life, apart from her parents, when she becomes Shige's age. She meant no harm I'm sure. They have to look after their own lives.

    Kyoko: I wonder: I won't ever be like that. Then what's the point of family?

    Noriko: But children become like that, gradually.

    Kyoko: Then... you, too?

    Noriko: I may become like that in spite of myself.

    Kyoko: Isn't life disappointing?

    Noriko: Yes, it is.

  • Shukichi Hirayama: [talking to Tomi about leaving the hotel early] Anyway, this place is meant for the younger generation.