Albert Kropp:
Ah, the French certainly deserve to be punished for starting this war.
Detering:
Everybody says it's somebody else.
Tjaden:
Well. how do they start a war?
Albert Kropp:
Well, one country offends another.
Tjaden:
How could one country offend another?
Tjaden:
You mean there's a mountain over in Germany gets mad at a field over in France?
[Everyone laughs]
Albert Kropp:
Well, stupid, one people offends another.
Tjaden:
Oh, well, if that's it, I shouldn't be here at all. I don't feel offended.
Katczinsky:
It don't apply to tramps like you.
Tjaden:
Good. Then I could be goin' home right away.
Paul Bäumer:
Ah, you just try it.
Katczinsky:
Yeah. You wanna get shot?
Tjaden:
The kaiser and me...
[the others laugh]
Tjaden:
Me and the kaiser felt just alike about this war. We didn't either of us want any war, so I'm going home. He's there already.
Hair-peak soldier:
Somebody must have wanted it. Maybe it was the English. No, I don't want to shoot any Englishman. I never saw one 'til I came up here. And I suppose most of them never saw a German 'til *they* came up here. No, I'm sure *they* weren't asked about it.
Paul Bäumer:
No.
Detering:
Well, it must be doing somebody some good.
Detering:
Not me and the kaiser.
Hair-peak soldier:
I think maybe the kaiser wanted a war.
Tjaden:
You leave us out of this!
Katczinsky:
I don't see that. The kaiser's *got* everything he needs.
Hair-peak soldier:
Well, he never had a war before. Every full-grown emperor needs one war to make him famous. Why, that's history.
Paul Bäumer:
Yeah, generals, too. They need war.