I'm 17, I'm 18, I'm 19, I'm 20, I'm 21, I'm 22, my life has long been broken, and the letter I wrote to you but never sent is in my arms a few years later It became useless poetry, I ran, I sweated, I drank water, I was pale and couldn’t say a word, I fell asleep when I got home from get off work, and woke up in a place I didn’t know, I had no warning. Tears, I can't find anyone to talk to for two weeks, I wish myself a happy birthday, I will remember you for a second in this life, I think, I should never think of you again.
I am a person who is not qualified to fall in love with others. For several years, I have reminded myself not to think about love. After all, I don’t even love myself, I don’t love my family, and I don’t love my friends around me. I don't love the best friend I've known for 6 years, but among the above people I don't love, except myself, I'm willing to give everything for them at any time. I said, "I value everyone around me, even if they don't value me." But it can only be valued. What is love? It doesn't even exist, it's just people's fantasies, or illusions. If there is a bond between people, this illusion will become more and more obvious. I'm careful, I'm walking on thin ice, and I'm full of cold sweat. After all, I make mistakes again and again.
I've always been like this, I've never been successful. I became a strong person as you wished, but I was still no match for this cruel world. On the night of collapse, I was always useless with red eyes, escaping and escaping, escaping into a bar full of people, escaping into the rising sun The former convenience store, fled into the bus that didn't know the terminal, fell asleep slowly, and then the car drove like a cruise ship into the black ocean that no one knew...
This is not a shounen manga, the one who redeemed me forever Neither will appear, and there will be no happyend after hitting the final boss. Life will continue. In this cramped rental cabin, the TV is broken, the water heater is broken, the refrigerator is broken, and the floor is good, but it is wet. Whenever the lights outside the window go out one by one, I can only say some lines from books or movies to myself, and every time I do this, I will have some subtle feeling, which makes me feel that the world may not be bleak because of this, Maybe when she wakes up tomorrow she'll be who I want to be.
I want to walk downstairs before dawn, I know I'm cool, but the world is hypocritical and cruel.
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