The situation could also be, everyone spreads/strangely persists out his/her own opinion/solution to arrange the funeral. When the person was still alive, these people never showed up in hospital as if they've agreed on same page of being absent ; agrees to let the situation going worse instead of doing anything to stop it as if the ending had been writtenn.
Finally they all came, to the funeral, pretending we were family. Everyone shed tears but who would be the one feeling horribly sad? Yes, it's all about him, if it not were for him, or for his funeral, you guys wont come . But you guys came here, your hearts were not with me; there won't be such a so called family gathering until next funeral I bet, you are using the last presents to as if this can make up all the mistakes or to mask the truth that you hadn't care about him when he was still alive.
Yes, it's all about him, but not for him. It's all about yourselves, whatever makes your life easier. it's about taking advantage, it's about if he is useful or not.
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Dad, I miss you, and I can't believe you had suffered all this....I can't.
I know I will have to live my own life from now on. I just can't forgive and forget. But I also know I shouldn't carry the anger since no one is going to share that load with me...
I will have a swollen eyes again since I cried over night and didn't sleep before 3am. I forced/begged the makeup person to give a better drawn on your lip to make you look real--but you are real, aren't you?
When they covered you up and saying this is the last time seeing your face, I lost my mind, I didn't realize that you would be sent away so I even didn't chase after the cart. I was knocked out and just stood there await for those staffs gave me the next instruction--either to move or to stay. My mind was blank. I didn't know what to think about.
I can't say that Dad, I dreamed about you these days, I wouldn't let myself reminding that you were gone--that's unfair to you. You were still there no matter what, unless you want to go. Please make up your mind if you want to go for next life, don't stick to us simply because you love us. You have to get a better starting for next life.
I love you. I know you love me. I am so proud of you .
I promised you I will live, I will be strong, though it's really hard.
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