"The Thief Family": The Ideal "Family Constellation"
Text / Mountain Man Pony
(The original text was first published on the movie public account "Montage Neima", welcome to pay attention)
Family Constellation
After watching "The Thief Family", people can't help but feel that "family is the most important", which may be one of the most important meanings of this movie.
And the key point contained in "family is the most important" is exactly how to build a harmonious family?
It was Hirokazu Kore-eda who showed us a model of a harmonious family through "The Thief Family", and the way of showing it was very "extreme" - making it possible to temporarily combine the social "weak" without blood ties to build an ideal "family constellation" .
family constellation - family constellation, also translated as family system arrangement. It was developed by Bert Hellinger, a contemporary German systems psychologist, and many parts of the world are learning and applying this method to reintegrate their families and minds.
To put it simply, many problems in the family stem from the disordered arrangement of the family system. Conversely, a good family system arrangement will naturally produce good family relationships. Just like a constellation, each family will be combined into a unique family shape like a constellation. Each family member occupies its own place like a star, and the stars are related to each other. The members interact with each other, and the constellations produce "mysterious" energies. Like the story of "Little Black Fish vs. Tuna" repeatedly mentioned by Shota in the movie, that is the proof of the ability of "Family Constellation".
To build the ideal family horoscope, in one sentence - each family member must find their right place in the zodiac (this is determined by their own thoughts about their own position).
Most of the methods are abstract "nonsense". Below I will explain in detail the "family constellation" of the Shibata family in "The Thief Family":
Fragmentation and reorganization
In the movie, the Shibata family of six all ran away from the broken original family (hereinafter referred to as the "old family"), and chose each other to reorganize into the "Shitata family" (hereinafter referred to as the "new home").
Hatsue, the "grandmother" who was abandoned by her ex-husband and son, Nobuyo, the "mother" who was raped by her mother and her back husband when she was a child, Aji, the incompetent "father" who was not even qualified to be abandoned, and Aji, the "aunt" who was disliked and neglected by her parents , The "older brother" Xiangta who was lost by his parents outside the game hall, and the "little sister" Yumi who was beaten by his parents, their seemingly sad "history of the old family" is an important foundation for building an ideal family constellation.
When they lose something in the "old home", they want to gain something in the "new home", and they get it by giving.
Their broken "old home" has two major structural features: "dictatorship" and "chaotic times".
Dictatorship - the biological parents who abused Yumi, the husband who abused Shindai, the parents of Aki who neglected her sister Aki because of her younger sister Saka, the ex-husband who abandoned Chue, the son and daughter-in-law who abandoned the old man after forcing Chue to sell the property, they are all family constellations They decide the fate of other family members, luck or misfortune depends on their faces (especially the family of Saka and Aki, which will be emphasized later).
Troubled times - Shouta's parents who lost their son because of their obsession with games (some "small steel ball stores" obsessed by the middle and lower classes of Japanese society, parents with children will also take risks with their children to play, it is a disguised gambling place, in the movie The prototype of Shota should be Yukari in "Yokari's Disappearance Incident". Unfortunately, Yukari has been missing for 22 years, and his whereabouts are still unknown.), Yumi's parents who angered her daughter because of the chaotic relationship between husband and wife. As parents, they failed to fulfill their parental responsibilities. They either fell together (Shota's parents) or blamed each other (Yumi's parents), and the family existed in name only.
Azhi is quite special, a habitual thief, a middle-aged homeless person, an incompetent person known as a social "worm", unable to form a family or a "deserter" of a family (even being self-sufficient, forced to escape from the family and become a homeless person) Han's Japanese middle-aged man). He has never felt the dignity of being the "head of the family", what he lacks is the sense of accomplishment as a parent.
The scars left by the "old home" to the six people are exactly what they want to use the "new home" to erase. In the movie, the scene between Xindai and Yumei in the bathroom is a good symbol. Yumei caressed Xindai's scar, and Xindai told her that the pain was no longer there. It was a gift from her "new home". The wound on touching her biological mother's face is that her biological mother said it was very painful and forced her to say "sorry". This is the pain of the "old home" that cannot be healed, and it also indicates that after Yumi returns to her old home, she will continue to experience "domestic violence" in her future growth. "Nightmare.
In "Old Family", Hatsue loses her husband's loyalty and her son's filial piety, Shindai loses love and tenderness, Aji loses his dignity and the opportunity to be a father, Aki and Shota lose their sense of existence, and Yumi loses a sense of security.
Only the brokenness of the "old home" can bring the lost emotions back to life. Therefore, we see a strange phenomenon in the "new home" - the real head of the "new home" cannot be found, and everything is uniform, especially It's a big deal (supermarket theft). This is the basis of the ideal family horoscope, which has a call - the democratic family. Members respect each other, perform their duties and cooperate with each other.
The old house of Shibata's family was left behind in a modern residence in Tokyo and was almost submerged, however, the family constellation inside it is a state-of-the-art democratic cooperative structure, which is a clever design by director Hirokazu Koreeda, which provides the audience with unlimited thinking Discussion space.
select connection
Finding one's place in the family constellation is the consensus that all members of the Shibata family need to reach in their hearts to build a "new home". Therefore, in this family without any blood relationship, we see a gentle and humorous father, a simple and strong mother, a kind and stubborn grandmother, a youthful and cheerful aunt, a frank and kind brother, Warm and lovely sister.
This may be their pure nature, but I prefer to believe that this is an effort to "do good", and it is precisely because of the "good fruit" that they have endured in their respective families, their ideal family It should be, so they work hard to make themselves the perfect member of the ideal family.
Azhi and Xindai - husband and wife and parents
In "History", the thief Azhi fell in love with Xindai, a bar girl, and the two were discovered by Xindai's husband. Azhi, who had been violently abused by her husband for a long time, killed the other party by mistake to prevent him from being in prison for two years. , leaving a criminal record. The two lived together like this, and Shinyo was infertile. How can someone who plays such a social role be a parent?
However, the Shibata and his wife in the movie are all working hard for the family to work outside.
The most important thing is their internal performance, they are all trying to do their parents' responsibilities and obligations - unconditionally protecting and loving their family members. They regard Chue as their mother, respect her, and endure Chue's bad habits. Even if they often laugh at Chue's "lies and big words", they just murmur a few words when there is no one else around. They are more like sons and daughters-in-law. Play old jokes behind your back.
As for Aji, although Nobuyori also persuaded her to take part in the "thief" operation, it's okay to talk about it. For Aki who can support herself, the couple never interfered too much, and did not ask her to pay living expenses (this can be regarded as the protection of Aki's self-sufficiency dignity through JK Refle). After learning that Aki loves the customer "Mr. No. 4" who is engaged in JK Refle (dressing up as a high school girl to provide chatting and other accompanying services to customers), Shindai uses his and Aji's "love history" to encourage Aki to be brave. Love gave Aji a sense of presence and independent space in this family.
Azhi treats Xiangtai as his own, and works hard to play the role of an "omnipotent" father. When Xiangtai was unhappy, he understood Xiangtai's thoughts. After Xiangtai left home, he knew Xiangtai's "hiding place". Aki, who was wearing a swimsuit, was also caught by him in time, and he gave "sex education" to dispel Xiangta's growth anxiety. He usually played tricks for children, listened to children's reading and so on. At a time when society is pulling men out of countless families, mothers complain about "where is the father", and parenting experts warn of the general absence of fatherly love in the family, Azhi should be the only surviving father of all-excellent fathers.
The role of the mother of Nobori radiates the light of motherhood in the relationship with Yumi, and the relationship between the two wants to be promoted first. At first, she objected to Aji's retrieval of Yumi, on the grounds that it would affect everyone in life and the law. However, when she and Aji returned Yumi, she heard Yumi's biological mother shouting "I don't want to give birth to this child" outside the window. She is determined to raise Yumi. It is precisely because of the empathy of Yumi's experience of being rejected by her parents that she is so determined. Here is the positive effect of a person's painful family experience.
The imprint of her biological mother's abuse on Yumi's heart was not very serious because she was young, but it left an indelible burn on her arm. As mentioned earlier, Nobunyo let Yumi touch her own scars to brush away this kind of body and skin wounds from her heart, and by changing her hairstyle and burning old clothes, she let Yumi say goodbye to the past and walk into the warm and safe Shibata family.
Xindai and Xiangtai had a rivalry scene. The two went home drinking bozi soda on the street. The croquette seller asked Xindai to buy a croquette for the child. Xindai smiled happily, and Xiangtai asked whether Xindai was very happy. He likes the role of "mother", and Shindai admitted that he asked Xiangtai if he called Azhi "father", and Xiangtai said embarrassedly not yet. Azhi very much hopes that Mrs. Xiang can call him Dad. Mrs. Xiang didn't silently call out the word "Dad" until the last scene of the movie, which became one of the most touching scenes in the movie. Countless times.
"Is it a mother who gives birth to a child?" This is Xindai's question. Azhi and Xindai give another answer. It's not that biological parents are better than biological parents. There are also in this world.
In the movie, Aji and Shindai never quarreled in front of their family members. Aji asked Aji how the two were connected? Azhi patted his chest, pointed to his heart and said, "Here".
The parents in the family are the central hub of the entire family relationship and play a central role in the construction of the family constellation. Azhi and Xindai’s attentiveness towards their families and their gentleness towards each other provide a solid support for the entire family constellation! This is a huge contrast to the biological parents and biological mothers of Aki, Shota and Yumi, and far surpasses the son and daughter-in-law of Hatae. Tai's silent "father" is so powerful.
Shota and Yumi - brother and sister
The appearance of each new member of the family will change the family constellation. Before Yumi's arrival, Xiangtai was the youngest in the family of five. The youngest is the most precious in the family, and the cute and pitiful Yumi instantly captured everyone's attention and care. The position of the youngest is occupied by Yumi, which has the greatest influence on Shota. Shota's reaction was also very strong. He vented his dissatisfaction with his father and expressed his stance by leaving home. This is a very normal reaction when the family constellation changes. The key lies in how he and his parents deal with this change. At this time, if the parents blame Sho Tai for being ignorant and favor Yumi, the family horoscope will be shaken and destroyed (unfortunately, this is the case in many real families).
Aji's biological parents are a counter-example. Aji is the eldest daughter. The family of three was originally harmonious, but the birth of the second daughter, Saka, changed the fate of the family. When two children appear in a family, a natural "competitive relationship" will be established between them, and the parents are the objects for them to compete for the family position.
If parents fail to turn their rivalry into a partnership, the rivalry often hurts both children at the same time. The winner of the competition works very hard, regards pleasing their parents as "success", and at the same time becomes selfish and strong. The loser will go to the other extreme as his family wishes, and give up on himself. Since it can't be "good" in your eyes, then it will simply be "bad" completely. Aji ran away from the family and dropped out of school to work in a custom shop. It all stemmed from his parents' preference for his sister Saka and his dissatisfaction with himself. Aji was the loser. She could see at a glance that the hand injury of "Mr. No. 4" was caused by self-harm, because she had experienced it too.
Going back to the relationship between Xiangtai and Yumei, it is the transformation from "competition" to "cooperation". First, because of Azhi's gentle handling, he asked Xiangtai to take his sister with him when he acted, and asked his brother to help her find a sense of presence in the family and make her feel useful. Azhi's approach made Xiangtai feel that her family position was fully affirmed, and it also added emotional "fetters" to Xiangtai; the second was Yumi's sense of dependence on Xiangtai. She left in Xiangtai because she was dissatisfied with her favor. When he returned home, he chose to wait silently at the door to wait for him to come back, which made the conflict between the two no longer intensified, and at the same time, he also saw the trauma that Yumi had suffered in the "old home" (accustomed to waiting for the fate of others).
When the elder brother Xiangtai accepted the younger sister Yumei, the cooperation relationship warmed up the emotions of the two, and Yumei became Xiangtai's happy "follower", inseparable. The exposure of the six people is also closely related to the relationship between siblings. Shota in the supermarket took the initiative to expose and be arrested in order to prevent Yumi from stealing things. Xiangtai Church stole from Yumi, and stopped Yumi from stealing after her moral consciousness awakened, and sacrificed herself for this, which reflects the unshakable power of the family constellation.
Hatsue and Aki - grandparents
Hatsue and Aki should be the closest strangers. Aki is the daughter of the son of Hatsue's ex-husband and second wife, so the two are not related by blood. Hatsue took in Yaji, who ran away, and the two are grandsons and grandsons. Hatsue doted on the child like a granddaughter, and reserved the right to "do not have to steal" for her in Shibata's house. The 30,000 yen "apology fee" received from her ex-husband's son once a year for sixteen years did not cost a single cent. points, to prove that taking in the enemy's granddaughter is not for money. She loves and loves this child from the bottom of her heart, and she also sees what she has experienced from this child - she was abandoned by her ex-husband who chose a new love, and Aji, who fell out of favor because of her sister Saka, is the same in Chuede's eyes. To.
Grandma Chuzhi, who exists as a "god" in the family constellation, has told so many half-truth stories before her death that she will take away so many undiscovered secrets after her death. What is left to the family is the presence and absence, the half-dream and half-awake prophet and hindsight.
This is a "deformed" relationship between grandparents and grandchildren. Only Chuzhi, who has experienced the warmth and coldness of the world, understands its preciousness. Young Yaji is influenced by the original family and society, but he can't see the sincerity of it, so when he hears the news, he is still a little trance. , being "caused" to tell the truth about the secret burial of the first branch, this is the fatal flashpoint of this ideal family's ultimate destruction. In fact, this cannot be blamed entirely on Yaji, because the disintegration of this family is inevitable.
disintegration
The disintegration must be "blame", and "blame" to the director as "God" is Hirokazu Kore-eda, who gave the family a setting of inevitable disintegration - the thief family. Audiences should prepare for the "sad ending" before the movie starts.
However, the disintegration is not the end of the movie, but the new life of the six family members, who hold their hearts together in a "disintegration" manner. Because of the final "disintegration", they were able to see each other as they really were:
Hatsue looked at the five family members by the sea, silently said "thank you" in honorifics, and passed away with the kiss of the waves and the splendor of fireworks, and was no longer alone;
Yaji returned to the old house to pay homage to the years of the thief family, convinced of the truth;
Azhi stayed at Xiangtai in temporary housing and regained hope;
Xiangtai embarks on a normal juvenile life and calls out her heart;
Xindai persuaded Azhi to let go of Xiangtai with punishment and atonement to realize great love;
Although Yumi could not be rescued from her original family, the self-talk and look on the balcony must be a safety net built for her by the family of six.
Since it is a movie, we also have to come out of the story, not to "blame" so Hirokazu-eda, but to "attribute" to Hirokazu-eda, he made a beautiful hypothesis prove true, and he let us face the fate of the characters in the film. On the other hand, look at yourself, can you do something for your family and find the correct family constellation position?
Family is so important, and love is even more important.
When we finish watching a movie, walk out of the theater, and reminisce on our own, we can also think about our own family horoscope. Ask yourself a few small questions:
Is my family democratic and cooperative?
Is my place in the family horoscope ideal?
What can I do to improve my family horoscope?
If you really can't make it, remember to take your family to see this "textbook" movie.
(The original text was first published on the movie public account "Montage Neima", welcome to pay attention)
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