Whatever works

Claud 2022-04-21 09:02:48

1. I didn't jump on you.


It's not the idea behind Christianity
I'm faulting, or Judaism, or any religion.


It's the professionals
who've made it into a corporate business.


There's big money in the God racket.
Big money.


-Here we go.
-We know, Boris.


Hey, the basic teachings of Jesus
are quite wonderful.


So, by the way,
is the original intention of Karl Marx. Okay?


Hey, what could be bad?
Everybody should share equally.


Do unto others. Democracy.
Government by the people.


All great ideas. These are all great ideas,
but they all suffer from one fatal flaw.


-Which is?
-Yeah, what's that?


Which is they're all based
on the fallacious notion


that people are fundamentally decent.


Give them a chance to do right
and they'll take it.


They're not stupid, selfish, greedy,
cowardly, short-sighted worms.


They do the best they can.

2. Let me teach you
something about love. Okay?


Naturally, there are exceptions
to what I'm going to say,


but they're the exception, not the rule.


Love, despite what they tell you,


does not conquer all.
Nor does it even usually last.


In the end,
the romantic aspirations of our youth


are reduced to


whatever works. Okay?

3.Yeah, I shouldn't really. Sometimes a cliché


is finally the best way
to make one's point.

4. I happen to hate New year's celebrations.


Everybody desperate to have fun.


Trying to celebrate
in some pathetic little way.


Celebrate what? A step closer to the grave?


That's why I can't say enough times,
whatever love you can get and give,


whatever happiness
you can filch or provide,


every temporary measure of grace,
whatever works.


And don't kid yourself, it's by no means
all up to your own human ingenuity.


A bigger part of your existence is luck
than you'd like to admit.


Christ, you know the odds
of your father's one sperm


from the billions,
finding the single egg that made you?


Don't think about it,
you'll have a panic attack.

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Extended Reading

Whatever Works quotes

  • [first lines]

    Boris Yellnikoff: That's not what I'm saying, imbecile. You guys completely misrepresent my ideas, why would I even want to talk with those idiots.

    Boris' Friend: Just calm down.

    Boris' Friend: That's not true, Boris.

    Boris Yellnikoff: No, don't tell me to calm down, I am calm. Just stop.

    Boris' Friend: Don't jump on us just because we don't understand what you're saying.

    Boris Yellnikoff: I didn't jump on you. It's not the idea behind Christianity I'm faulting, or Judaism, or any religion. It's the professionals who've made it into corporate business. There's big money in the god racket, big money.

    Boris' Friend: Here we go...

  • Boris Yellnikoff: Don't you know you have to sing happy birthday twice to get the germs off?