Acting like myself

After watching this movie for a long time, I suddenly thought of this movie. I suddenly realized that I saw myself. Although I don’t work in an investment bank, I still don’t have a target... But my son’s mentality is exactly the same as me, and I am very insecure about my own passing. Let other people know that I feel embarrassed to introduce to others when I am embarrassed by my depressed relatives. I always hope to use lies to make others think that I am a "normal person", and I am enthusiastic about planning and want to control the overall situation (the kind of thinking).
In my opinion, I can’t understand why my dad can still be the focal point with his mouth full of guns. I can’t understand why the "gentlemen" didn’t dislike her when seeing the old stripper. I also can’t understand why my dad owed a debt at first and can still be leisurely. drink beer. Of course, there is also the feeling of not understanding the taste of sex with women and the feeling of having a huge tin.
I remember one time I went to experience rock climbing. I climbed to the top without much effort. Of course, the one with the lowest difficulty... But when it was time to let go, I didn’t dare to let go. Insecure, although there is a safety rope. But why is there no sense of security? Why do others let go when they are relaxed?
I'm not sure if the "everything is determined by childhood theorem" is true, and I don't know if I will become a father and be contented in the future, or become a "gentleman" as rich and "normal", or forever vacillating on both sides.
One step further, if I become a member of the "gentlemen", can I completely get rid of the embarrassment and embarrassment I once had? If I don't mix well, can I give up the obsession of being a "normal person"?
I once thought, whether it’s good to be an ordinary person, there can’t always be "gentlemen" in the world. Let me be an ordinary person too! Most of the time is taken up by work and sleep every day, and I am discouraged from seeing the magnificent door. I have never thought about traveling, let alone pursue my own "philosophical completion". ———Actually, most of the people around me are like this. I don’t know if they have ever seen the vastness of the world, but they chose to be an "ordinary person", or they have never met and never thought about being a "gentleman". The world of our" has come all the way...
At least I think I have seen the life of "gentlemen" a little bit now, and I have seen the beauty of nature and the unique deliciousness of many places. Just as I climbed to the top, but I grabbed a rock and didn’t dare to let go. I don’t know if there is a rope on my body. I don’t know if I let go...

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