1
Let me talk about an overture first.
On the day of the premiere of "Angry Birds", I took the group ticket and redeemed it at the front desk of the movie theater. The girl who received me politely said, "I'm sorry, our back office can't handle the group purchase tickets of this website, you can choose to refund the ticket."
I said: "I don't want to refund the ticket, I want to watch a movie." The
girl said: " You can refund the ticket and buy it on another platform, such as WeChat, Alipay."
Seeing that the network channel for the next show time is about to be closed, I have to try my best. "Can you help me deal with it? You see, if the group purchase information is on the website, it means it is valid. Your backend cannot handle it. The problem is that your backend is not mine. I believe you still have a way to do it. Help me solve this problem, won't you?"
I don't think the girl will eat me at all. "I'm sorry, but I can't handle it. Can you file a complaint?"
I don't know why, as soon as I heard someone say "you can file a complaint", I felt a slap in the face. It seems that I came here specifically to find fault, she has a clear conscience anyway, what do you like. Hearing this, the small universe in people's heart began to rise, rolling over and over. I suppressed it with reason in time, because my education and everyone around me were telling me: don't lose your temper at will, no one likes a cannonball that fires at one point. People who can't control their temper have low EQ, and people with low EQ will be spurned by others.
So, I suppressed the churning little universe in my heart, and politely asked the girl, "Who should I complain to?" The
girl said, "Website! Wherever you buy it, you can complain about it! Otherwise, do you think it's useful to complain about us?"
She Before I finished speaking, my little universe began to tumble violently again, trying to break through the blockade of reason, causing my chest to heave violently. While stroking my chest, Guo Furong said possessively: "The world is so wonderful, but I am so irritable, this is not good, not good."
The girl pouted and turned away from the front desk. The husband who came behind asked me what was going on, and I spit out what happened with a sullen face. Without a word, he ran to the front desk. "Come, come, which beautiful woman just told my wife to complain, come over and let me complain."
His voice was neither loud nor low, but full of confidence. The girl who received me just now was obviously guilty and didn't dare to go back to the counter.
Seeing that no one responded, my husband raised his voice an octave. "What? You asked us to complain. Now that we have complained, we still haven't come to receive a personal reception?"
At this time, there were not many people in the theater, and my husband's voice was loud and loud. In the empty front desk, the sound was deafening when it was raised. Perhaps after hearing the word "complaint", three or five young and strong young men and a seemingly powerful royal sister gathered at the front desk. This posture is obviously ready to go to war at any time, first to overwhelm the opponent in numbers!
Husband is not timid either, explaining his intention and arguing with reason: I came to watch the movie, not to complain. The matter between you and the website, how you want to deal with it, I bought the ticket, and I have the right to watch the movie.
But no matter what the husband said, the three or five young men kept talking, for various reasons, various excuses, and would not give the votes. The boys chattered, and the sound of the theater sound was mixed together, making it so noisy that it was impossible to hear who was talking. The husband roared, "Stop talking nonsense! Show me a movie!"
This roar was like a thunderstorm on a stormy night. Although he had expected this to happen, it still shocked everyone when it broke out. Husband is really angry. Although he couldn't see what he looked like from behind, the expressions of those young men had already explained everything. But Chongguan turned into a red face when he was angry, and I would definitely love the way he looked at that time.
At this time, the seemingly very powerful royal sister walked up to the computer and said, "You want to watch a movie, right? Let's choose a location!"
In this way, I was able to watch "Angry Birds" smoothly.
2
This film is so fitting.
A group of flightless birds live in peace and quiet on a tropical island. And among the little birds, a short-tempered little bird named Red was always furious and was isolated by everyone on the beach outside the village.
Red was sued by a client, then exposed the judge in court, angered the judge, and was ordered to take an anger management course. In the anger management center, Red met Terrence who is not angry and self-righteous, the excited "Dart Yellow", the "Bomb Black" who will explode when he gets angry, and the gentle and happy anger management mentor "White Beauty".
Later, a group of mysterious green pigs landed on the island and were warmly received by the birds. Only Red was keenly aware that something was wrong. Sure enough, the green pigs stole the eggs on the island while they designed the birds to revel all night.
At this time, the birds remembered Red who had been reminding them, and spontaneously followed Red to carry out revenge. But what revenge? We are descended from dinosaurs, and anger is our strength, Red said. So a group of angry birds, relying on the elastic force of the slingshot, smashed into the nest of the green pig kingdom, and rescued the eggs safely.
I don't know if it's because of the episode when redeeming the ticket, but when I saw the little bird turned anger into the power of revenge and exploded one by one in the kingdom of green pigs, I felt so happy! Ah ho ho ho ho!
We live in a world with extremely high moral standards. Too many people tell us not to get angry, not to have a temper, to learn to manage anger. Anger is a negative emotion. It will make you fall into the abyss of emotional out-of-control, make you lose your mind, lose yourself, speak out of words, and harm others and yourself.
Guo Furong said: The world is so wonderful, but I am so irritable. It was as if the world would no longer be as wonderful as it once was. But, have you seen it? There are more and more places where we dare not speak out. How wonderful is the world? If you are not angry, will there be fewer elderly people on the bus asking you to give up your seat? Wouldn't the courier be beaten? Will a search engine cancel the ad PPC? Do human traffickers stop abducting and selling children? Do you no longer have to passively accept the overlord clause when you renew your broadband fee? ...
I think, I have to take the lines from "Seven Deadly Sins" to show my heart: Hemingway once wrote that this world is beautiful and worth fighting for, and I only agree with the second half of the sentence.
There is too much injustice and moral kidnapping in this world. You didn't let me watch the movie because of your own problems with the third party. Instead, you acted as if I was here to find fault, and told me to complain if I had the guts. Is this fair to me? At this time, anger is my most real feeling and thought, and this anger is caused by you. If you don't break out, I'm afraid it won't be fair to you!
Many people are angry because, like me, they have been treated unfairly. Many people will tell us, let it go! Remember to be classy! But many times, even if we choose to let go gracefully, our sense of powerlessness in this event will still be stuck in our throats and stuffy in our hearts. With more unfair treatment, one day it will gradually eat our vitality like a chronic poison. Then, people will say: What a wonderful man! I've never seen him lose his temper.
I don't know since then, not getting angry and not having a temper has become a standard for good people and high emotional intelligence. But this standard is not acceptable. Even when the god Zeus couldn't stand it, he would crackle a few thunders, shocking the world, how could we mortals do it.
In fact, more often, we suppress our anger because we are afraid of losing, and we are afraid that anger will hurt those around us and make them leave us. So we choose to swallow our anger silently, compromise with the status quo, and dare not ask for what we deserve and want. However, emotions do not deceive us. The emotions that arise in the first place are our truest feelings and the most direct reflections based on the truth. So is anger. It's inevitable. We can never stop our anger, we can only suppress it temporarily. However, anger that has been repressed for too long can be devastating when it erupts. Either hurt someone, or destroy yourself. Therefore, those who seem introverted and withdrawn, those who are good and obedient in the eyes of their parents, often do terrible things.
3
Since anger is inevitable, we must learn to accept it and make good use of it.
We must first recognize that it is an emotion. Although classified as "negative emotions", any emotion, including negative emotions, has its positive value and meaning.
American psychologist Thomas Moore once said: Anger gives you strength and motivation, so that every minute of your life can be creative, and every minute can show your own style. Without anger, you would give in inappropriately and be at a loss.
Because we need to live in groups and have our own space to maintain our individuality and judgment. Scientific research has shown that under anger, a person's adrenaline will speed up the secretion. It promotes the breakdown of adenosine triphosphate in the body, which provides energy to the muscles, accelerates the heartbeat, increases oxygen delivery, and enables muscles to obtain more energy than usual, helping people escape danger and fight enemies.
It can be seen that anger is a powerful burst of life energy. It is the unearthly force hidden deep within us. If you use it well, you will transform into a demon god, beautiful and invincible. Wherever you go, a hundred flowers bloom. If you don't use it well, you will be attacked by divine power, and your body and spirit will be destroyed.
In my impression, my second aunt and my mother have never had any head-on conflicts or contradictions. My sister-in-law has lived in the upper and lower houses for 20 or 30 years. It is reasonable to say that even if the relationship is not good, it will not be too bad.
She has an amazing ability to unite people who have had an unhappy relationship with my mother around her, so that there is no room for change in the relationship between my mother and them. As a result, the mother lived alone in her hometown, and it was difficult for her to do things.
When the tap water was connected to the village, the construction master lifted the water pipe of my house half a foot off the ground, exposing it to the outside. The mother was worried that the bear child would step on the water pipe by prank, and asked the construction master to take over again and bury the water pipe underground. The mother asked again and again, the master shied away again and again, and the person disappeared in a flash. The mother looked everywhere for a teacher. The whole village knows that my water pipes are very strange.
Before I entered the village, a fellow villager urged me to run back quickly to help my mother find a teacher. After a few laps, I finally found the plumber who saw the beginning and the end of the dragon. When my mother and I, as well as a few kind fellow villagers, were trying to persuade the master to help change the water pipes, the second aunt was dangling around us for two times. When you come back, you don’t even shout when you see anyone!”
I lost a smile: “Oh, auntie! I’m not doing anything right now, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” As I said that, I stuffed two packs of cigarettes into the plumber’s arms. .
Unexpectedly, the second aunt continued to say, "This is because I have read a lot, my vision has become wider, and I don't have any poor relatives in my eyes. Do you know that I am your aunt?
" The plumber said nice things, but also had to deal with her sudden and sloppy reconciliation. When she said the last sentence, I got angry and went straight to her. "Do you still know if you are my aunt? Have you asked my mother if it is your sister-in-law? My mother ran all morning for this matter, and everyone in the whole village knew it, and everything that didn't matter knew it. Come over and ask, and say something nice. You'd be better, if you don't help at all, you even scratch your sister-in-law's daughter's braid. Are you happy doing this?
" Shou's useless anger took advantage of this opportunity to vent out, so it was a bit rude. In front of my elders, I have always been a respectful and docile child. Even when I was disobedient, I would just smile and hide as far as I could. It was the first time I had a direct conflict with my elders, but I never regretted it.
She was very embarrassed, but she seemed to be in the middle of me, and she felt guilty. She didn't say a word, and walked away.
Afterwards, I went out of my way to apologize to her. In any case, it is not right to speak rudely to the elders. I don't want my mother to take the blame for "not teaching well" because of my fault.
After that, I changed from a dispensable person in her eyes to a concrete existence. Every time I go back to my hometown, my second aunt will always bring a bowl of soup, some eggs, or bring me the crayfish caught by my cousin. Her relationship with her mother has also improved, and the two often talk and laugh. The "enemies" of her mother who were "united" by her also began to have contact with her gradually.
I think that many people are just like me and my mother before. They have no temper, don't get angry, and they are good and docile people in the eyes of others. However, only we know that we have endless grievances in our hearts, like a miserable poor creature, always pitying ourselves, always looking for every opportunity to pity ourselves, and never thinking of breaking through this state.
One day, when you send out a burst of anger, you will find that you have suddenly changed from the poor state of powerlessness and become a powerful person.
It is explained in this way in psychology: "People with insufficient inner strength often need to live in anger in order to maintain more strength to face life."
When the anger is released, the other party will retreat, but you, So defend yourself. Your anger is telling the other party that I am very dissatisfied with the state of your relationship in the past, and I want to reject such a state! I don't want to go any further!
As Thomas Moore said: "When people express anger clearly, it can do a lot for a person and a relationship.
" Anger is the best proof.
4
However, I believe that no one wants to make a bomb that burns at once. More often, we still hope to integrate into the crowd and be accepted by others. However, for those who are not strong enough, anger can help us recognize our own worth. Blindly suppressing, bearing humiliation, and compromising, will only make us belittle ourselves and become more and more inferior.
In the magazine before, the editor-in-chief compiled the articles published in the magazine into a collection. Because the manuscripts have already been reviewed, this time it is only necessary to rearrange, classify, and typesetting, and then do proofreading work. Although the workload of the collection is much smaller than that of the journal, it still takes up a lot of time for me and another editor. In order to catch up with the draft, I often work overtime.
After the collection was released, the editor-in-chief signed my name. I tried my best to get the editor-in-chief into a rage, and finally put my name in the "Executive Editor" column, but it only appeared on the title page of the collection. And that colleague was not so lucky, as if she never existed.
When the manuscript fee is settled, it is also me who has her or not. Although it was pitifully small, the editor-in-chief said, "Look at why people don't say anything? You're the only one who makes a fuss! It wasn't me, did you come up with this book?"
I wanted to explode. It's blatant exploitation, and people want to be grateful to him. It's so shameless that it's just too shameless. My colleague and I both left the magazine in the end. Later, the editor-in-chief came to me again and wanted to hire me back. I refused. It is said that the editor-in-chief still often mentions my "bad temper" to my colleagues.
I have a bad temper, but I always know what I am angry about, why I am angry, and try my best not to anger others. The right kind of anger must be directed at the person who is causing your anger. When you are angry with this person, you can defend your space and rights, and your anger will work.
If someone messes with you, you don't dare to be angry with him and turn your anger on other people. Well, it doesn't matter how hard you vent. Because you chose the wrong person, that kind of anger doesn't mean anything other than giving you a bad name.
When you know exactly why you're angry and who you're angry with, you'll be able to understand where you stand, stick to the point, and know how to defend yourself and your worth when dealing with it. With the right handling of anger, we can live out our inner lion.
I like hot-tempered people over good-tempered guys who never get angry. Because hot-tempered people often have strong life energy, they are the real, living beings.
People who know how to lose their temper better understand and cherish the emotional connection between people, and have a humanistic atmosphere. It is in this sense that a friend said to Thomas Moore:
"You'd better be friends only with people who express anger."
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