model life

A model, it exists only to be a mirror, and the measure is just how close it is to the world on the other side of the mirror. Mechanical models, economic models, financial models. It may be complex, ingenious, or witty, but only the person who built it knows how hard it is. Carden is just building a model of his own life, to explore the self, abstract self, ugliness, desire, pain from the model, just like a laboratory or an economics paper, but he can only look through the window, the mirror on the other side. The world, you can't change, how many people in this world have spent their lives building models, in the face of reality, they are still powerless, to quote a short line there.
Everything is more complicated than you think, you can see only a taint of the trueth. There are millions little strains attached to every choice you make, you can destroy your life every time you choose. But may be you will never know for twenty years , and you may never ever trace to it's source, and you got only one chance to play it out. Just try in figure out your oun divrces, and they say there is no fate, but there is, it's what you created, even the world is go on year on and year on, you are only here for a fraction of a fraction for a second. Most of you life spend on been dead or not yet born, but while you are alive, you wait in vain, wasting years for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it allright, but it never comes, or seems to but doesn't really.So you spend your time in vague regret or vague hope that something good will come along. Something make you feel connected, something make you feel hold, something make you feel loved. And the truth is, I feel so angry, and the truth is , I feel so fucking sad, the truth is I feel so fucking hurt for so fucking long, and for just it along, I'm pretending I'm OK, just to get it along, just for... I don't know why, may be because none want to hear about my misery, because they have their own love. Fuck everybody, AMon~ AMon~m pretending I'm OK, just to get it along, just for... I don't know why, may be because none want to hear about my misery, because they have their own love. Fuck everybody, AMon ~ AMon~m pretending I'm OK, just to get it along, just for... I don't know why, may be because none want to hear about my misery, because they have their own love. Fuck everybody, AMon ~ AMon~

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