A hundred years of loneliness

Shanie 2022-11-21 18:05:54

Everything is more complicated than you think.

Everything is more complicated than you might think.

You only see a tenth of what is true.

You only see a little bit of the truth.

There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make.

Every decision you make drives thousands of relationships in motion.

You can destroy your life every time you choose.

You can choose to ruin your life at any time.

But maybe you won't know for 20 years and you may never, ever trace it to it's source, and you only get one chance to play it out.

But maybe you won't understand it in twenty years, and you may never be able to trace it back, and you only have one chance to get it right.

Just try and figure out your own divorce.

Try to figure out your marriage.

And they say there is no fate, but there is, it's what you create.

Everyone says that there is no so-called destiny, there are only things you create.

And even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second.

Even as the world turns year after year, you're just a tiny fragment of that second.

Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born, but while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes, or it seems to, but it doesn't really.

You spend most of your time after or before you are alive, but when you are alive, you just wait in vain, wasting decades waiting for a call, a letter, or a meeting from someone or something Reassure yourself that it never happens, or seems to happen, but it really won't.

So you spend your time in vague regret, or vague hope that something good will come along, something to make you feel connected, something to make you feel whole, something to make you feel loved.

So again you take the time to vaguely regret, or vaguely hope that something good will happen next, that makes you feel that you are not isolated, that makes you feel that you exist, that that makes you feel loved.

And the truth is I feel so angry. And the truth is I feel so fucking sad. And the truth is, I've felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long. And for just so long, I've been pretending I'm okay just to get along, just for…I don't know why.

But the truth is I'm angry, but the truth is I'm sad, but the truth is that I feel like I've been hurt for years and fucking years, and at the same time, I've been pretending I'm okay to adjust, but for... I don't know is why.

Maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery. Bacause they have their own.

Maybe it's because no one wants to hear about my misery, maybe because they have their own misfortunes.

View more about Synecdoche, New York reviews

Extended Reading

Synecdoche, New York quotes

  • Sammy Barnathan: I've watched you forever, Caden, but you've never really looked at anyone other than yourself. So watch me. Watch my heart break. Watch me jump. Watch me learn that after death there's nothing. There's no more watching. There's no more following. No love. Say goodbye to Hazel for me. And say it to yourself, too. None of us has much time.

  • [over radio]

    Millicent Weems: What was once before you - an exciting, mysterious future - is now behind you. Lived; understood; disappointing. You realize you are not special. You have struggled into existence, and are now slipping silently out of it. This is everyone's experience. Every single one. The specifics hardly matter. Everyone's everyone. So you are Adele, Hazel, Claire, Olive. You are Ellen. All her meager sadnesses are yours; all her loneliness; the gray, straw-like hair; her red raw hands. It's yours. It is time for you to understand this.

    Millicent Weems: Walk.

    Millicent Weems: As the people who adore you stop adoring you; as they die; as they move on; as you shed them; as you shed your beauty; your youth; as the world forgets you; as you recognize your transience; as you begin to lose your characteristics one by one; as you learn there is no-one watching you, and there never was, you think only about driving - not coming from any place; not arriving any place. Just driving, counting off time. Now you are here, at 7:43. Now you are here, at 7:44. Now you are...

    Millicent Weems: Gone.