I haven't seen the drama version, but I know that if the drama is to be turned into a movie, it is really not that easy to change it successfully. The flaw in this film is that the conflict is too dramatic and the out-of-control areas go a little too far.
But I'm still going to give it five stars because every family should see it. Although I guess if it is introduced, this film is estimated to be very popular.
That's right, this is a "short for parents" film. At first glance, it may not be much different in subject matter from the "family conflict"-themed soap operas that are commonly seen on TV in mainland China, but... look at how people How did you shoot it?
The family in the movie is a bit of a headache: the father was an alcoholic and cheated on his sister-in-law; the mother had an unfortunate childhood, taking drugs, and was short-tempered; the eldest daughter’s marriage was on the rocks, and there was a rebellious child; the second daughter loved I have a half-brother; my third daughter is often unkind to others... These may not be important, the important thing is that when the family gets together, not only can they not comfort each other, but they also keep hurting each other .
Nothing hurts a family more deeply than overly vicious language. Several generations of women in a family have avoided becoming their own mothers, but in the end, they all find that they have become a reprint of their mothers unknowingly. Mean, irritable, self-righteous, and neurotic, it seems that they are really mixed in the gene fragments of mothers, and passed on to each daughter, and then the daughters pass it on to their daughters. The difference is only "drinking drugs". This reminds me of the families described by French naturalist writers, such as Zola's Lugon-Makar family. The entire family cannot escape the curse of their ancestors' "drinking" and "indulgence" genes, and most of them die in the end. to fall.
If genes can be disassembled and re-assembled, then, those of us who are not satisfied with our families and ourselves probably all hope to change to a better set of genes, and then live a better life. However, we can't choose genes, and neither can family, family members. As the second daughter said in the movie, genes bring together a group of unrelated people, which is itself random. Sometimes I also think that some family members, some relatives, I would not want to know if it wasn't for blood. Even, over time, you might think that "maintaining family ties" is basically "wrong or wrong". Even "family" and "family" are ridiculous. However, your genes have chosen to put you in the same family and you can't change it. If it would be too much of a shame for us to sever ties and just walk away, then... what can we do to live peacefully with our family and the bad genes we have inherited from our family?
There has never been a "perfect family" in this world, it's just that this mountain looks up to that mountain. We all feel that "other people's families" are better than our own - gentlemen will think, how can "other people's wives" be more beautiful than mine, and they don't like spending money or comparing themselves? The wives will think, how can "other people's husbands" make more money than my husband and get promoted faster, and they don't smoke or drink too much? How can "other people's children" be more sensible, have better grades, and are more handsome than my children? Children will also think, how can "other people's parents" not lose their temper with their children and give more pocket money? In fact, other people's wives may also have a bad temper, other people's husbands may also encounter career bottlenecks, and other people's children may also be rebellious and do not like to read or do housework, but you don't see it. Baudelaire said: "Life is a hospital, and every patient is eager to change beds. This one is willing to moan in the face of the fire, and the other thinks that he will be cured by the window." A hard-to-read scripture. However, what people show to outsiders is always the better side. The gorgeous cheongsam has a bright surface, and outsiders will never see how many lice there are inside, and it only hurts to bite anyone.
Moreover, it may be human nature to be insatiable and never satisfied with his situation.
If you are not satisfied, you will be motivated to strive for better conditions. But don't keep complaining about it, and don't take it out on your loved ones - that will only make you appear incompetent. I have seen too many people who are "horrible in the nest", and seriously, I despise them very much.
We are all ordinary people, parents and children, no one is greater than anyone else, it is important to be able to stand on an equal perspective and compare our hearts. In the section of the table conflict in the film, the eldest daughter played by Julia shouted "I am the head of the family now" after snatching the medicine bottle from her mother played by Meryl Streep, which is really uncomfortable to watch. I think her mother will feel very frustrated and even abandoned at this time. In fact, no matter how arrogant and domineering everyone is on the surface, they are very fragile in their hearts, but they are not willing to speak out.
It is said that family is not a place to be reasonable, yes, it is too tiring to be completely reasonable, and we are all wrapped up by family affection - affection. But if it is completely unreasonable, the day will really not pass. When things go wrong, they are irrational and calm, leaving only hypocrisy and quarrels. Family affection itself is perceptual and emotional, but maintaining emotions and relationships requires rationality. Emotions or emotions cannot solve problems, you always need to use reason to solve problems.
The truth also needs to be spoken, and the emotion needs to be expressed. In short, the words need to be said. There may be some other problems after talking about it, but quarrels are better than cold wars. It's better than holding back and suspecting each other. "shall we talk, shall we talk, it's like going to school hand in hand." Even if your jaw starts to chatter, don't lie. Not everyone is good at expressing, but many things must be expressed. You must control your emotions and express clearly. Since you want to be good, don't continue to hurt each other.
At the end of the film, the eldest daughter rushed out of the door angrily after arguing with her mother and sister. She was driving in a wasteland, and when she was driving somewhere, she suddenly stopped and laughed.
Maybe if it was me, I would laugh too, but in fact, I suddenly figured it out, and it suddenly became clear. If you want to ask why, maybe she doesn't understand it herself, let alone I don't understand it. If it were me, I would think: why are you so flamboyant? Prank, is it useful? Is everything as bad as imagined? Yes, many things were irreversible before, but what's the use of staring at "irretrievable"? Complaining against others, or fighting with the past, is it useful? If you change into another look, change into another family, even if you change a set of genes, will there be no problem? Is there no problem to face? Living well now, can't it be better in the future? Have a good day! No one can stop us from living a good life except ourselves. Everyone understands the truth, even if you think about it, you have to let it go.
After laughing, she drove away again. She didn't know where she went. Maybe she went back to find her mother or her husband and daughter.
No matter where you go, you have to pass through this wasteland.
Remembering the beginning of the film, which is also a wasteland, the writer's father said to the Indian sitter on the voice-over: "'Life is long.' - TS Eliot. He was not the first to say that, and certainly not the first. Thought so. But now it's his famous quote because he was so bored he wrote it down. Now if you're going to say that, you have to add his name. 'Life is long.' - TS Eliot ." I think, in fact, all kinds of famous sayings and great truths are probably nothing more than this. Many things may be understood by everyone, but the famous person said it.
Wasteland, TS Eliot, "The Wasteland" by TS Elliott - a world like the wasteland of sin, every season is as cruel as "April", and no one is innocent. And we have to learn to live well in this wasteland and be strong, because "life is very long". The writer's father committed suicide after saying "life is long". This is an irony of his statement.
Suicides are very rare. Most people, secular people, are still struggling to live in this wasteland, trying to live. We cover up the imperfections, show the good, the calm, and the strong to others, all while struggling to survive. Like May's mother, like Julia's daughter, like everyone in this family, like each of us -- it's a kind of self-preservation, and I think it's a kind of toughness in itself, at least We all survived. So the eldest daughter said to her daughter after burying her father, no matter what, no matter what you do, no matter if everything is a mess, you must live.
The fourteen-year-old girl may not understand, she only knows that she lives in an unsatisfactory wasteland. One day she will understand.
Even in the wasteland, live with your family with the bad genes you share.
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