It feels like it’s not about movies anymore, so let’s talk about yourself.
I can feel my masochistic tendency since I was able to endure the pinch of my wrist in a joke at the same table in junior high school. When the pinch bleeds, I didn't care and I didn't cry out in pain. The same desk bullied me even more and continued to pinch me, even though he admitted that after graduating. It's getting my attention (that's why I say boys in junior high school are too simple and naive). At that time, I just felt that I was more reluctant to admit defeat, or maybe I was more tolerant of pain.
Later, when I was in middle school, I started to cut my wrist with a blade, so I could experience the feeling of "death". Cutting the blood vessels with a knife did have a pretentious feeling that made him feel different from everyone else, but because he was fatally afraid of seeing blood, he gave up after trying a few
times, and later explained it as a secondary illness.
This kind of masochistic behavior usually occurs when self-guilt is particularly strong and when you want to punish yourself, which may be interpreted as a judgment of yourself. When one thinks that the external judgment of oneself has not achieved the result that the "self-court" verdict deserves, it initiates a mechanism to punish itself. Of course, in fact, there is no difference in the results between subjects, and for the self as the subject, it is not so much self-imposed exile, but self redemption. So I can quite understand Maggie's masochistic logic in the movie: Do something wrong - feel sorry for others - self-harm to gain psychological balance - and allow one's own fault. The difference is that I don't feel that I need to rely on a strong person to execute the sentence on my behalf. In fact, I am very reluctant to have a relationship with another person - even a close other person - that should not be within the scope of the relationship.
The way this self-abuse manifests itself is by constantly poking at the pain points—both physically and psychologically, scratching yourself, starving yourself for a long time or stuffing yourself, forcing yourself to use a particularly unpleasant perfume, and then continuing to follow I said that I need a supplement to have experience.
But these two days are considered to be empty of a lot of serious business, and I have covered myself up in the field of aesthetics for a long time. This), listening to the Chinese music that I liked but refused to admit. Simmel said that people who are hit in the real world will bury themselves in the appreciation of works of art and aesthetics to escape the world, and they are talking about themselves. I don't know when I can turn my attention back to professional books and thinking. I think it may take a little while, maybe a week or a month, and when the guilt is not so strong, I will probably be able to regain my consistency. a way of life that has continued since.
Ahhhhh so I don't think there's anything wrong with living on my own, because I don't have to start and finish feeling interrupted. So ahem, back to the movies, when I desperately needed a ton of movies to keep my mind free from self-censorship abuse, lazily watching a couple with a weird way of getting along doing SM on a weird weekend morning, the feeling, Although weird, it can be regarded as an experience that is both supplementing and comforting.
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