Even if you haven't seen the movie "Fifty Shades of Grey", which once pushed SM to the public eye, you must have heard it, and I assume you must have seen it.
Why don't I recommend Fifty Shades of Grey? When the domineering male protagonist in the play doesn't know if the female protagonist likes to be abused, he tells him strongly, "This uncle is fine." And bargain with the male protagonist to agree on what to do and what not to accept. The female protagonist finally chose to obey the male protagonist physically.
Obedience ≠ surrender, the real SM relationship is the dependence and help from the heart
A master in the circle said that the true relationship between the master and the slave is actually the slave choosing the master.
Slaves are willing to surrender to one person willingly, dedicate themselves to another person with unreserved and complete loyalty, and hope that the Lord will guide their life direction. Usually slaves have low self-control and are more confused, so they need to rely on a master with rich life experience, knowledge and self-cultivation to establish themselves.
Therefore, the Lord must teach the slaves according to their aptitude, and if the Lord accepts slaves, the Lord must assume the responsibility of training. Maybe one day the slave can choose to leave the master, but the competent master must not abandon the slave first.
The Lord relies on the SM relationship to gain a sense of security, because in reality he cannot trust others wholeheartedly
The kind of relationship described above, you may think like me, isn't this what the love we long for? Trust, rely on, never give up, grow together. The slave loves the Lord wholeheartedly, and the Lord also tolerates and loves the slave wholeheartedly. But why do you dare to love someone safely in an SM relationship?
Maybe it's because to this master, he is a person who has been wearing a mask in real life, suspicious and guarded against others, and a vigilant living person.
Perhaps similar to the reason for the formation of masochism, it is also the influence of the original family environment or the experience of childhood and adolescence, which makes him afraid or unwilling to show his sincerity and vulnerability in real life. The insecure living environment made him decide to play the role of a strong man. Markets are like battlefields, and marriage may be nothing more than cooperation, or it may always be accompanied by deception.
Not because of money rights or interests, only in the relationship of SM, this slave is completely dependent on himself, only in the relationship of SM, can I dare to believe that I can be admired and loved.
Only M's bravery and firmness can save S and give SM relationship a better tomorrow
When can an SM relationship transform into a true love relationship? It depends on M's firmness and bravery, which is why the master-slave relationship always relies on slaves to guide its development process.
Just like in the movie "Secretary", the seemingly domineering lawyer is actually the one who can't believe that he will be loved and hides, while the secretary, who has a tendency to abuse himself, is acquainted with his fiancé for many years and who is willing to abuse himself. Between lawyers, I made a firm choice to go to the lawyer and tell him "I love you" on the days of wearing a wedding dress. While the lawyer continued to run away because he couldn't believe it, it was the secretary who announced his determination to the public by going on a hunger strike.
M is an angel. In fact, S didn't do anything wrong but was trapped in the cage of loneliness. It was M who bravely stretched out his hands to him, encouraged and waited patiently, and finally became himself, gave M, and gave them to both Chance to be happy.
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