one
The wall between the majority and the minority
Last week, the person in charge of a non-profit organization called LGBT+ Family and Friends Association approached me, hoping that we could provide a venue for them to do a sharing activity and talk about how gay relatives and friends understand and accept this minority group. I hesitated a bit, pondering. Xiao A, who came to talk to me about this, asked me timidly, polite and restrained, with a weak expression but firm eyes. She said that in Zhuhai, it was difficult for us to find a venue, and every time we were told that we were a gay organization, we were ruthlessly rejected by the store owner on the spot.
That's it, I decided to accept it.
It's not because of sympathy. I have always believed that people who choose to face their own hearts are happy and do not need sympathy. Only those who are cynical about others' pursuit of their inner process need sympathy.
My acceptance is nothing more than a result of my character: whenever there is a one-sided voice from the majority of the crowd, I will stop and wonder, think about it, and ask: Is this really the case?
I thought that homosexuality has long been recognized by the mainstream of the world, and the trend of the times is irreversible. The concept of incomprehension, discrimination and even attack on them in the past has become a thing of the past after the struggle of countless people. Their status quo, although they are a minority, they no longer need me to speak for them, but I did not expect that the minority is still struggling so hard.
I may still have good thoughts about this world: I am still willing to support all those who stick to themselves and are not afraid to choose the hard road, especially those who choose the road that is not understood by the majority. I want them to trust me, I want them to think that I can understand and support them, I want them to see me as someone who is equally determined to walk the hard way, and I want them to accept me as well.
In psychology, this state of mind is called empathy.
The empathy I understand is all based on the scope that I can understand, and this scope is inseparable from my experience, knowledge, outlook on life, and world outlook. For areas that we cannot understand, we are not too willing to spend time to understand and understand, let alone fight for the other side. When I reach middle age, I also gradually get greasy: I have to save my energy to fight for myself, to fight for my own rights and interests, and I am not necessarily willing to reach out for things and people that have nothing to do with me, nor do I want to. Do everything we can.
So every time I can help a little, I feel a sense of mission, my eyes are full of tears and I look into the distance, gaining infinite power. This kind of spiritual opium-like encouragement is actually supporting myself. I hope that every time I make a willful life decision, I can be understood. Finally, I can cry on the stage of China's good singing and say, I have not given up my music dream for so many years. Know how hard I try!
After all, some people and some things seem so far away from us that they may not affect me in this lifetime.
It's just that I can't help but feel sad: I'm so greasy that I don't believe the wise aphorism that "no snowflake is innocent during an avalanche."
Between the majority and the minority, the wall looks crumbling, but not many want to tear it down.
two
heterosexual you and me
When I came across the request for this gay event, I was the first to ask J's opinion.
Her answer surprised me: "I can't figure out why they can't find a venue? Is it difficult? My gay friends are confident, enthusiastic and capable, and they can always rent even if there is no free space. Somewhere to hold a sharing session."
I said excitedly: "Do you have a certain misunderstanding of the gay community? You may think that they are all hipsters and handsome T-boys and confident winners in life. When placed in the crowd, they will become fireflies in the darkness, and they will immediately become admired. Your class determines that your eyes can only stay at the same class, and you will not use empathy to feel the difficulties of others. Can’t you think that the homosexual crowd also has various classes of heights, shorts, fats and thins: There are those with money and status, and there are those who are unemployed, down and out, struggling at the bottom or even sinking, but more are ordinary people like you and me."
I was emotional and our discussion broke up.
J is my love.
I remember watching "Three Billboards" and we also had an argument:
I sympathize with the heroine, her tragedy lies in her inability to get out of her own predicament, and her anger stems from her helplessness. I can't ignore the pity behind all hateful people, she is a pity and deserves mercy.
She felt that most of the heroine's predicament was caused by herself, and not knowing how to control her emotions was the fatal reason for her to fall into the tragedy of life step by step.
We have a lot of discussions like this, and the results are often unhappy.
I think she's cold at heart.
And she thought I was being hypocritical.
There was an invisible wall between us.
I always thought I was right.
Until after this quarrel, J couldn't help but tell me that it has been 10 years since she supported two children in poor areas. She doesn't say it, she just thinks that what she thinks is right, do what she can. People who are always full of righteous indignation and shouting are often people who have no ability to change the status quo, and there is no practical significance for improving things.
I admit that a good woman is a good school. Daigo empowerment only needs one sentence.
Although I only agree with her first half sentence, this right hook has convinced me.
Yes, that wall is everywhere, even between the most trusted partners.
You can only push it down with love and trust, there is no other way.
three
Gay and non-heterosexual
Because of this LGBT+ family and friends event, I naturally thought of this controversial gay-themed movie for this week's movie title: " Boys Don't Cry ".
After rewatching the movie, I realized that I had made a big mistake: this movie is not strictly a gay movie. Before that, my superficial understanding was limited to: either straight or gay. The protagonist Brandon in the play is not heterosexual, not homosexual, or even transgender, but Intersex, which is translated into Chinese as intersex or intersex. The play has a medical term for this: "gender identity disorder." So, I re-checked the LGBT+ information:
LGBT is an acronym for Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transgender. In the 1990s, because the term "gay community" could not fully reflect the relevant group, the term "LGBT" came into being and gradually became popular. In modern parlance, the term "LGBT" attaches great importance to cultural diversity of sexual orientation and gender identity. In addition to narrowly referring to homosexual , bisexual or transgender people, it can also broadly represent all non-heterosexual people.
The world is big and multi-element. The world is neither male nor female, and a person can be neither heterosexual nor homosexual.
When did humans learn to segment groups of people and label them one by one?
The original intention may be to make oneself survive better, let everyone find the same kind of people according to the label, and solve the confusion of human life. But human beings put the yardstick between themselves and others, and in the name of justice, in the name of right and wrong, they increase the difficulty of human life.
We humans have evolved for tens of thousands of years, but we still simply implement the low-level principle of "the minority obeys the majority".
This movie based on real events made me sigh. I didn't expect that such backward concepts and human rights abuses could still happen in the United States, which is famous for human rights in the 1990s. People, including the police, are ignoring and trampling on the dignity of aliens. But soon I realized that the real strength is not not to make mistakes, but to reflect and improve after each wrong event. Acknowledging mistakes, facing backwardness and learning lessons has prompted the society to reflect, revise wrong ideas, and even legislate for this purpose. This kind of spiritual power is a force for the progress of human society.
And what I've always been interested in is, what angle does every director who shoots gay subjects use to describe homosexuality? The director is exercising God's right to a movie, so the angle he describes determines what kind of posture he looks at them, whether he looks up or down. J said: "Just like you repeatedly used the word "acceptance" in this article, it shows that you still have a sense of distinction in your heart. This statement touched me and felt ashamed, because she talked about the core of equality for all: not deliberately, not otherwise Treat each other with no special care.
The fragile and strong Ang Lee uses subtle and beautiful shots to describe why complicated same-sex feelings occur, while Kimberly Peirce, the female director of "Boys Don't Cry", uses the perspective of facing suffering to record the process. Her ruthless and protracted shots, whether in the joy of love or the tragic death of death, have kept me on pins and needles.
It's not a good movie for me.
But what does it matter if I don't think it's good? I should thank the director, it was her courage not to avoid suffering that gave me cruel scenes that I didn't want to watch a second time, gave me uneasy emotions, and made me think continuously.
I think I'm a vulnerable, too empathetic person who often doesn't have the strong will to act and face the pain. I'd rather be an ostrich with its head buried in the sand, pretending to turn a blind eye to the suffering of others.
The stronger people will bravely continue to explore the inner mysteries of human beings. They fight against the injustices encountered by minorities that have nothing to do with them. They help the minorities to resist the discrimination of the majority. The wall between them, they are the sparks of human beings, they are lighting up the future of human beings.
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