My wife is more than four months pregnant, and I am slowly learning how to raise my child. "University" has a cloud: Those who have not studied and adopted children and then married. But it's always good to prepare early. One of them is watching some educational movies. I didn't have a good relationship with my dad, and we didn't actually have a real reconciliation until his death. I have always believed that the biggest task of my life is to learn to be a good husband and a good father.
When I was in high school, I liked to read the story of Liu Yong and his son. I remember one time Liu Yong asked his son to ask passersby what time it was. His son ran into the crowd several times, and finally asked. I didn't think much of it after reading this story at the time, but every time I thought about it later, I would admire Liu Yong's efforts to educate his son. I was thinking, if one day I became a father, would I be able to let go and let my children bravely ask those unfamiliar passers-by about the time or what to do.
(2)
Thomas in "Extremely Loud, Very Close" is such a father. He can always find a way to challenge his son Oscar to explore. For example, there are only five districts in New York, but Thomas insisted that there is a sixth district, and he must let his son find the sixth district. He never really treats his children as children, but talks to his son on an equal footing. Therefore, the relationship between the son and the father is very close. The mother is a lot worse, maybe the mother regards the son as her own son.
I think, as a father, Thomas is always trying to be a good father. His father abandoned his mother very early, and his mother had to bring him up alone. Growing up in an environment without fatherly love, he naturally hopes to give more fatherly love to his children, so as not to repeat the mistakes of his parents. One day, Thomas went to a meeting at the World Trade Center in New York, and two planes came along and blew up the Twin Towers. He died on the spot.
If his son is not happy, he can't accept it anyway. In fact, as soon as the accident happened, they left the school urgently and evacuated the school. When he got home, he happened to hear a call from his father. But until his dying dad hung up, he didn't have the courage to answer. In fact, my father was just reporting peace, but in the end he couldn't. He wanted to say his last goodbyes, but his son didn't dare to pick up the phone. For this, he regretted it for a long time, and even said that since then, he has never been freed from that pain. He hid the voicemail, and often listened to it secretly, pinching himself with his fingernails, and pinching his body in blue and purple, so as to obtain temporary comfort.
One day, Oscar mustered the courage to walk into Dad's pantry. Inadvertently, he smashed a blue vase and found a key inside, with "Black" written on the key bag. What does he realize, it may be a mission from his father to find out where this key belongs: to which lock does it belong, or to which person does it belong? At a young age, he had the ability to find out all the people with the surname "Black" in New York, categorize them by area, and then go to ask them one by one.
During this period, Oscar met all kinds of people, those who helped him, some who rejected him, some who laid hands on him and prayed for him, and some who gave him a hug at every turn. Most importantly, he had the opportunity to meet his grandmother's tenant, an old man who was over 100 years old. He lost his language ability and could only communicate with people by writing notes. But after the two of them got to know each other, Oscar finally had a partner and a partner. But as the investigation deepened, Oscar guessed that the old man was his grandfather, the grandfather who once left his grandmother and father alone. In any case, the old man finally withdrew, still refusing to admit his identity.
Finally, Oscar finally found the owner of the key. When he first visited the "Black" home, the couple were in the midst of a divorce. On the second visit, Oscar finds out that they are divorced. The hostess brought Oscar to the host's office, and then finally figured out the source of the key. This key was left to him by Black's father, but he had a bad relationship with his father since he was a child. When his father died, he auctioned off all the furniture left by his father without even thinking about it. . It just so happened that Oscar's father bought it back. Black's father told him that there was a key in a blue vase, and Black searched for a long time and couldn't find it. That day, Oscar returned the key to Black and ran out like crazy. At that moment, he must have felt that a line connecting with his father was broken.
When he came home, crying, his mother came in to comfort him. Mom told him she knew what her son did. In fact, the reason why Oscar was able to meet so many strangers so smoothly was because his mother had visited them all in advance. In the end, the son who cursed at his mother "I wish it was you in the building that day" reconciled with his mother. It turned out that it was not only the father but also the mother who could understand the son.
At the end of the story, Oscar came out of his grief and reconciled with his mother as before. Grandpa who can't speak also accepted Oscar's invitation and returned to grandma. Even the divorced Black chose to remarry his ex-wife, and the two were even more loving. Everyone Oscar visited received a letter from him expressing his gratitude.
(3)
This may be the most attractive movie among the movies reflecting the 9/11 incident. It is not particularly fast-paced, and you can feel the abrupt sense of oppression and powerlessness from the movie itself. When a small child and an old man go to find the owner of the key, I see the deep connection between the two father-son pairs.
The old man once abandoned his children, making life difficult for Thomas and his mother. Thomas's life came to an abrupt end, leaving his son Oscar to advocate what it's like to be abandoned. Both the old and the young need to find the father-son affection they need, otherwise their suppressed emotions will lead them to collapse. The old man can no longer speak, and Oscar has also changed into Asperger's syndrome, and their communication skills have been greatly challenged.
It was in this situation that the two of them met, and together they took the key to find a lock, or a person. A child is looking for traces of his father, but an old man is looking for the shadow of his son. The old man returned to his grandmother, Oscar returned to his mother's arms, and the grandson and grandson were truly released in the absence of Thomas, the father and son, and felt real warmth and warmth.
There is a theory that the marriage problem is actually a parent-child problem. The reason why my family cannot handle it well is probably because I have not handled the relationship with my original family well. Of course, there are now many different voices against this theory. But in any case, the role of parents in a person's life cannot be overemphasized.
The Black who found the key may not be able to learn to forgive his father for a long time, so he is also unable to live his married life to some extent. When Oscar appeared in front of him with that key, he seemed to open his heart and seemed to see his father's inner world. When Black said "thank you" to his ex-wife, he was not only thanking, he was apologizing, he was begging for reconciliation. In the end, not only could they remarry, but they also learned to reconcile with their father, who had been dead for a long time.
The film doesn't tell which lock the key opened, nor does it tell us what the lock was holding, or what exactly was left of Black's father. None of these matters, what is ultimately needed is that the door that was locked between us and our parents was finally opened because of this key. The relationship between parents, children, husband and wife, etc., under the action of this key, opens a new door, new relationships can be established, and a loving family that can be expected is being rebuilt.
(4)
I have been thinking about what a father means to his children and what a father can bring to his children. After watching this film, I came to at least one answer, which is to teach the child to learn to be brave and face all difficulties without fear.
In the beginning, father Thomas worked hard with Oscar to make a plan to find the Sixth District of New York, and with Thomas' help, he was able to do it. Later, Thomas tried his best to let Oscar go to the swing, but Oscar certainly didn't dare, because he always felt that the iron frame supporting the swing would suddenly break and fall to death. After his father's death, he tried to visit everyone named "Black", bringing a bell and drum each time to strengthen his courage. He didn't dare to take the bus, the subway, or even the plane. He was always worried that he would encounter an accident.
When he met the mute old man, his grandfather, his fear disappeared little by little. When looking for a family, they needed to pass a wooden bridge that had fallen into disrepair, creaked when walking on it, and had a broken log. Oscar didn't dare to walk over at all. Grandpa ignored him and just tried to get him to step over. When he successfully stepped over, Grandpa sneaked away, leaving Oscar to come back alone. Later, my grandfather said that he could not walk back and forth, his body could not bear it, and he had to take the subway. At the beginning, Oscar was also against it. When he couldn't make the subway, he was also fully armed and used a gas mask. The mask was not removed until he was sure there was no danger. You can clearly read that fear of the unknown in children.
At the end of the movie, Oscar, who overcame his inner fear, came to the park again and sat on the swing. It was the first time in his life that he played a swing, and he finally realized the "freedom like a bird" that his father said. That is the ease and joy after the fear is over.
I think the ultimate thing a father wants to teach his children is to face the unknown world without fear. Only in this way can he communicate freely with people, make friends with people, be kind to people, and feel the ease and freedom.
Many Christians admire "Courage," a film that tries to teach people how to be a good father. I think, in addition to this one, I would prefer to recommend "Extremely Loud, Very Close".
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