A soul who has searched in every possible way but could not find his own bright exit, what can he do other than cut his own skin, see bright red blood gushing out, and feel pain to prove his existence. He could only close his eyes and run towards the sea, where Balzac and countless equally lonely souls had stopped.
What is a lie, what is discipline, what is beating and scolding, what is morality, what is a prison, what is heaven, and those things are not created by people. When he can no longer see the light, he will not care about death.
I have told my friends many times that I still like French cinema the most because its rhythm suits me, and Truffaut has never lived up to my admiration for French art. I saw the young protagonist, the deep canyon in his heart, and I saw myself, who also walked aimlessly on the street, and also yearned for the sea that contained me.
One year after graduation, I left the erratic life of the ivory tower and tasted the taste of the world for the first time. I am tired, Shanghai is empty, people are doing their best to work hard to maintain the rotation of day and night in this city, the whirlpool will not stop, only the life of old and dying will be stopped.
When naive children are young, they will look forward to the distance, where there are high-end toys, sweet playgrounds, delicious food that they have never heard of, and elegant friends. When I was young, I felt that there were wise thoughts there, and there were masters who sat in skyscrapers and looked down on all living beings, and they had the same colorful and emotional high-quality life as their paradise and respected by everyone.
And now I am in the distance, in the bustling and bustling Shanghai. After three years of high school, after going through a paralyzed education production line, I came to the largest and most prosperous city in China as I wished, and read the enviable university promoted by TV, parents, teachers and strangers. After graduation, I got it. A decent office job.
I just ran forward, like a moth to a fire, with sincere longing. When I ran to the end, I suddenly found that I did not find the sweet happiness I had longed for for a long time. In its place are strong financial pressures and empty transactional conversations and the loneliness of walking alone on a busy street after get off work.
I choose to leave temporarily, leave this city, return to my hometown, and return to the starting point of this illusory dream of mine. I want to leave immediately, I want to get on the car going north immediately, I want to watch the woods and the river where I used to play in my childhood, and the ferry boat that went to pick wild fruits in front of my grandmother's door. But [the clouds cover the day, the wanderer does not care to return], the years are not forgiving, the old people at that time have passed away one after another, and the aunts and uncles at that time have mottled temples. And because of the company's delay in paying wages, I had to reluctantly live in a dark room in a rental house. It's like the helpless shrug of the hero's friend who went to see him without success.
The male protagonist saw the sea, but where is the sea in the world where the soul lives? There is only a desert that can never be seen.
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