The sea I want to see

Diego 2022-04-19 09:01:55

Antoine sat at the table, staring at the language teacher's curly hair in a daze. When he was angry, his eyes were wide open, like a toad covered in mud on the edge of a pond.

He was punished again by standing at the corner of the classroom and could not leave the get out of class, so he took a pen and wrote on the high wall, for a picture of a woman who came from nowhere, Teacher Supa's punishment to Antoine Toni was not good. To be fair, he should check it out. When the classmates rushed into the classroom laughing, they found the secret he was trying to cover up. Teacher Supa took him by the collar and threw him on the podium, and soon asked him to clean the handwriting with a bucket.

The writing on the wall was diluted with water, and Antoine wiped it hard, but he couldn't avoid the oil on his hands. Don't you know that these prints get dirtier with rubbing, dear Antoine?

I don't know how Antoine, who sleeps by the door of the living room, sleeps in tattered pajamas every night. It's cold. If parents are always fighting, put the quilt over your head and think of the cute little girls in your class, those angels with bright faces and sunny laughter. But the worst thing is that they never believed in their son Antoine, so our Antoine suppressed the grievances in his heart and stopped begging them for pity. He will never have the right to act like a spoiled child, all he has are parents who seem to be in another cruel world. There, no laughter.

Antoine was really happy the day he played truant with Rene, went to see his favorite movie and experienced the centrifugal force that made him float, laughing, but no one of the adults knew how happy they were. Seeing her mother kissing someone on the street, Antoine was very ashamed and angry, but she could only bow her head and walk away. Yeah, who calls himself someone else's son? How sad to write a leave note, how sad to write a sick leave letter, the eggs in the frying pan tasteless, and Dad is still wondering who took his book. Dad crept into his room again after going to bed, and I think he started fumbling in Antoine's pockets and looking for money again.

When scolded by Teacher Supa, Antoine blurted out that he did not go to school because his mother was dying. Oh, how much heartbreak did he go through to say this? Perhaps after the language is broken, what I get is a kind of spiritual liberation. But, mother is mother after all, how could Antoine let his mother die?

Dad found out, he was going to fight Antoine. Antoine was frightened and felt that his life was at risk of leaving his home. He got into the printing factory and wandered the streets like a wild cat drinking someone else's milk.

Mom found him, did Mom really want to get to know him?

Antoine just liked that Balzac wanted to write the same sentence as him, but Mr. Supa still thought he plagiarized and threw him out of the classroom, even Rene, who was defending Antoine, was thrown out.

How happy it is to watch a movie, how cool to smoke a cigar, how happy to blow a paper ball... But why are these happy things always based on escape? Who said Antoine wanted to steal money? Who said Antoine wanted to steal that typewriter? Antoine wanted to tell his father how sad he was, how lonely he was, and how much he missed the happiness of the family going to the movies, but his father didn't plan to pick him up at all, but threw him at the police station and sent him to a juvenile detention center.

The lights were brilliant, but they couldn't give Antoine any warmth. Bitter tears flowed down Antoine's face after the car swayed along the cold railing. Who knows his fears? I think the parents are starting to fight again.

The children in the juvenile detention center played with their own pain, but looked up at the sky but could only see a cloud of gray. Antoine kept thinking about the sea he told Rene to go to, maybe one day he would go. He wanted to go with Rene, not parents. This is something that cannot be expected. Because his parents never thought about letting him out.

On the day of the football, Antoine ran very fast and got out from under the barbed wire. The guard was old and not as flexible as him, so he managed to escape. Long footsteps took him to the beach. He was so excited that he couldn't breathe a few times, so he opened his mouth and wanted to shout out. He was finally free.

But it turns out that the cold beach like sea water is bleak and lonely, and there are still dark clouds in the sky.

Anthony walked back and forth, what did he see when he turned back?



After watching Francois Truffaut's "Four Hundred Blows", I remembered my childhood as well as anyone can. Those ununderstood lonely years of growing up. There are also those who are not understood who are trying to live their own lives.

09.07.07

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Extended Reading

The 400 Blows quotes

  • Gilberte Doinel: My boss drove me home.

    Julien Doinel: Your boss.

    Gilberte Doinel: I couldn't very well refuse, could I?

    Julien Doinel: I hope you get overtime for that.

    Gilberte Doinel: I will, at the end of the month.

    Julien Doinel: Those services are usually paid in cash.

    Gilberte Doinel: Oh, knock it off!

    Julien Doinel: No wonder madame needs to rest on Sunday. By the way, where's my Michelin guide?

    Gilberte Doinel: How should I know? Ask the boy.

    Julien Doinel: He said he didn't touch it.

    Gilberte Doinel: He lies through his teeth.

    Julien Doinel: Like someone else I know.

    Gilberte Doinel: If you raised him better...

    Julien Doinel: I gave him my name, damn it! I put food on the table!

    Gilberte Doinel: I've had enough of your criticism! Fine! We'll send him to the Jesuits or the army orphans. At least I'd have some peace and quiet!

  • Antoine Doinel: [heard thinking aloud, as he is writing on a wall] "Here lies poor Antoine Doinel, unjustly punished by Sourpuss for a pinup fallen from the sky. It will be an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth!"