After watching this movie, I was on the verge of being seventeen.
Much like the heroine, I am also an introverted and withdrawn person. Sometimes there is a deep desire to communicate with people, but there is no such confidence and courage. Always embarrassed because I can't find a topic or a little nervous. I like to live in my own world, but I am very concerned about the evaluation of the world and the comparison with other people's lives. lonely and sensitive.
In terms of family, although I don't have a very good brother like the heroine, I also have very dazzling relatives and friends. Living under pressure under the aura of others. In the face of parental restraint, he is always dismissive and eager to break free. Sometimes it really feels like no one understands you, and that feeling of being alone with yourself is frightening.
Chinese-style school life is under intense study pressure. The female protagonist can still maintain a free life on campus, and the teacher who does not hand in homework also smiles and thinks and grows in a fully free environment. And in China, I have to face an inescapable academic burden. The school encourages full devotion to learning, focusing only on grades and ignoring other things. There is no room for free thinking in such a constrained environment. Concentrating all your energy and time on one thing for a long time inevitably makes your emotions vulnerable and sensitive. During my high school years, I used to feel like a machine, and I rejected that feeling, longing to get rid of it, but couldn't do anything about it. At that time it was really sluggish, and the whole high school was in this sluggish, neurotic-like state. Because I have to devote myself to learning, I am even less good at interacting and getting along with people. Social phobia may be just that feeling. She often looks down on herself like the heroine out of her body, feeling that her words and deeds are so bad. No confidence whatsoever. Although the pressure of going to school often makes me repressed and eager to talk to others, but after all, I don't have the confidence and courage. You can only stumble alone with a jack on your back, a vicious circle. In this bleak environment to prepare for the exam, the college entrance examination is a matter of course like fate, far below the average level. Seeing that the classmates who had not worked hard before scored better than me, I fell into a strong self-denial again.
It can be said that my seventeen years were spent under repression and self-denial. It made me numb. Until I saw this movie, the familiar scenes, I felt like something was suddenly concentrated in my heart, and I really wanted to cry. It was at this time that I realized how vain I was before. The scene of the heroine crying late at night is really helpless and confused. I began to reflect on my past, how did I get to such a state of depression step by step.
Inferiority makes me deny myself and lose confidence and courage in life. And this is the root of all problems. I can't accept my disability. In my heart, I believe that I am inferior to others in all aspects, and I am useless, so I should live in such a depressed and lonely life. Life is so unfair, some people's life is destined to be more difficult, and they have to experience more mental ups and downs. And some people just get more and shine brightly. And there is no perfect personality in this world. Just like the excellent cousin of the heroine in the movie, he also has his own pressure and difficulties. We work hard to change our personalities in pursuit of perfection, but find it difficult to achieve. In fact, maybe we don’t need to be perfect at all, but we need to dare to face our true self and make peace with our imperfect or even worthless self, so that we can gain inner liberation and freedom.
At the end of the film, the heroine had a long talk with her cousin and finally figured it out. Begin to muster up the courage to peel off his thick shell and communicate with the outside world. In the film, the teacher said something to the heroine: Maybe no one really wants to get along with you; maybe if we are lonely, we really have to try to open our hearts and feel the warmth from others. I believe that this world will not only have malice, but also sincerity. If you communicate frankly with others and don't care too much about other people's evaluations, you may get more happiness.
Always alone, always feel that the eyes are the whole world. So when you encounter a small setback, it will magnify infinitely and make yourself miserable. Those people who seem to be high above the clouds, who knows if they are often apprehensive and full of anxiety? Some people who make you envious, when you really get along with them and get to know them deeply, you will also find that their lives are not so good. We are always greedy for the inaccessible scenery in the distance, and feel beautiful because of the blur. When you get closer to see it clearly, you will find that it is nothing more than that. So, when we see people who are better than us again, I hope you can calmly convince yourself and don't be afraid to compare. Things cannot be forced. Satisfaction is happiness.
The heroine finally accepted her complete self at the age of 17, the beautiful self because of her flaws. Maybe it will be a long time before we can face the real self calmly like the heroine, so before that, we must work hard to see through the world and the so-called life. The more you experience, the more confident you become. True freedom and happiness come when you remain plain as water. May we all have the courage to face our ordinary self when we are young.
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