The following two poems of forgiveness are dedicated to Arlene McKinney and her mother. ( two characters in movie “Pay it Forward”)
The poem for Arlene:
This pain goes on
Deep inside my heart,
I complain, I hate, I cry,
How could this happen to me?
Why didn't you care me, mom?
Why didn't you save me, why?
I try to run, run away from you
With fear and grievance full of my heart,
I try to cure my wounds by myself
With helping hands of time
And support from damned alcohol.
I pretend it will be all right,
I suppose I will get out from the past,
I could forget but I won't forgive
Because the aches still strike me late at night.
No, don't!
Don't be so unfair to me!
Why can't I forget the painful bygones
though I've tried so many times?
This feels so wrong,
Without forgiveness
The plan seems doomed from the start,
I need to find a way to forgive and forget.
This is the hardest thing I've ever done,
But I ask myself
"What am I really holding onto ?"
I search my own heart for the truth,
I miss you, mom,
And I want to hug you
Because your daughter loves you all the time.
I'm going to find you and tell you
With the strength of courage,
Come back to my home, no, our home,
Stay with us and lead a complete life.
The poem for her mother:
"I watch the clouds drifting away,
Still the sun can't warm my face."(1)
No one's around me except for empty wine bottles,
You made the greatest escape
To extricate yourself from affliction
I brought to you unintendedly.
I've been so depressed since I lost you,
My remorse accumulates day after day,
I call, I pray,
Don' t let your anger grow,
Don't turn me away,
Don't give up on me.
So many times,
I made sincere apologies at the bottom of my heart
For my past irresponsible attitude and behavior,
Yet I have no courage to tell you, my daughter,
Only to torment myself day and night,
What a pathetic coward I am!
I guess no one would accept me any more
A dirty and tattered old woman
With a heart to heal and not to hurt now,
And I never desire to gain forgiveness from you and my grandson,
Just give me the chance to say that I'm sorry,
I'm sorry for all hurtful things I've done.
Once I dreamt of making breakfast for you and Trevor,
Once I dreamt of sitting in the sofa and watching TV with you,
Once I dreamt...
Reference:
(1) Lyrics from the song “Forgiven” played by a Gothic-metal band “Within Temptation”
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