Three hours ago, I was in a very depressed mood. I routinely tidy up my room on weekends, and went to work after watching this film. Because of the low mood these days, this film was listed as a weekend movie by me, trying to find the hopelessness in my life that I have restrained for a long time in the film. Three hours later, after watching this movie, the suppressed emotions are as smooth as they have been ironed, and calmness is the state that is more compatible with despair.
The real despair is not something that people like me who have not experienced soul collision can understand. Instead, he has already met the seemingly bright and bright hope, life seems to be getting better soon, that person truly understands himself, and will not force himself to do things he doesn't want to do. Because love seems to do everything.
He clearly saw the happiness in the chocolate box showing a corner, but he still gently pushed it away. There are too many variables in happiness, and the only thing a person can really control is death, so he doesn't want to change anything in vain. It’s like adding a lemon to the wine to taste, and you can drink it more aftertaste, but if you change it to another glass, although it seems to taste better, but you have already tasted and paid for it, who would want to change it?
What is more desperate than death is to live, to try my best to live in a way that I don't like, in exchange for vague and unknown hope. People really have to try hard before they can really believe, in fact, they can't change anything.
Those sugar-coated happiness can only deceive children, but cannot change the kind of life that belongs to you.
Self-control people are the most helpless, and feel pain soberly every day, but alcoholics are different. Recently, I feel more and more that alcohol is a kind of supplement that God has given to adults in life. At first, it may seem that alcohol cannot solve the problem, but not everyone can live smoothly. There's always going to be one problem after another, and you're so exhausted that you solve one problem and the next one pops up right away. It doesn't solve the problem, but it can solve the current perception of pain.
Some problems are not the butterfly effect, but the drama of life. It's true that not everyone can change their life by trying to be positive. So those who want to die just use their few remaining options to choose what they can still do. If you can't live according to your expectations, then die according to your own ideas.
Once connected, things are much simpler. You can't advance all problems, but you can control the rhythm of death. Little by little it pulls you away from the brink of sobriety. Encountered a good feeling full, but no nostalgia.
Why do people live? Fulfill your obligations based on social/family/work responsibilities. Soulmates that can never be met, maximal benefit of the ugly division of labor at work? The reality that nothing can change can only be adapted to. You can only lower your expectations for tomorrow a little every day.
BEN said, "You and I both know I'm an alcoholic and you're a prostitute, and I don't mind that. It's not that I stay out of the way and don't care. I care. It's just that I trust and accept your choices." A very high sentence, but as soon as the scene changed, BEN was caught and raped on the bed by SERA, and he said numbly after finishing his shirt, "I will leave after half an hour of rest on the sofa" is another powerless scene.
Desire is a very magical emotion, which can grow and spread under all harsh conditions, even if it is surrounded by deserts and originally dried up. But for despair, cats cannot heal, wine cannot paralyze, and love cannot redeem.
We did not choose despair, but fate chose us.
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