It's been a long time since I received the recommendation from Sister Ting, and I was locked at home due to the epidemic, so I finally rewatched this drama. I don't know why I always feel that this drama gives me a very similar feeling to the song "Twelfth Floor" written by Li Zongsheng for Karen Mok. I talked about the content of the whole drama, an episode of more than 20 minutes, and the six episodes add up to only a slightly longer movie. Similar to this song, I sang a whole song, but I didn't say a word of what I wanted to say.
I don't know who's life is not like this. Pack up the bad things that you don't want to recall, and the bad things that have happened, and seal them up in a corner. From time to time, it seeps out a little, and you quickly cover it up. No matter what you use, seal it first. This mess of life, life, mess of intimacy, mess of lonely, mess of alcohol, nicotine, sex, hopeless sobriety, it's really tiring and hard. Like a crumpled mass of paper that has nowhere to throw, because that's you.
Standing on the street of a coffee shop, when I was about to step on my foot, I was really empathetic at that moment. Why do you say I should stay here? I stayed up all night with makeup all over my face, my father who didn't know how I was living, my sister who jumped down knowing the truth, and the one who was pushed to the point of being completely irreversible, I will never forget best friend. Courage is the last pillar in the mourning life. When the pillar came crashing down, there was no turning back. The packaged past is all over the floor. The father who watched you get slapped by your stepmother still has to choose his own life. The sister who is standing on the edge of the marriage cliff is going to push back and pierce your pretense about yourself and tell you. Let me live the illusion of my own life, stay away from me. How real, sorry, really sorry, in this world, it's true, no one loves you. Blood relationship really doesn't mean anything, and of course no sex, give yourself a big mouth, sober up, everyone wants to get drunk in their own life, and no one wants to ignore you. Do you think that the wrong thing will be over when you throw it away, no, it will explode into the most gorgeous fireworks in your life, and then stain every inch of your skin. And just like that you lost your only friend, the only person who loved you.
What does it feel like to lose? It seems that the connection with this world has been cut off. In the past, this invisible rope was holding you desperately, hoping that you would not fall. Now it's broken and you start to seem like you're floating in weightlessness in space. Yes, it is weightlessness, a floating sense of life, never reaching the ground, not knowing where I am. This is lost. It's not just the loss of someone, but also the ability to love, the possibility of being loved, the ability to maintain all intimacy, the ability to become a better person, the ability to be a person.
do you do it? You just want attention so that you can be cared for and loved. Too bad it's not that easy. This is the truth of the world. No matter what you use to bury yourself in the soil, it will eventually turn into a seed that sprouts and grows, and then explodes into fireworks.
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