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After watching the movie "Infernal Affairs" 123 and Wang Xiaobo's novel "Golden Age", I was quite entangled "Who am I" question. Chen Yongren stabilized his spirit by constantly telling himself "I am a policeman"; while Liu Jianming was relatively serious - both psychological distortions, split personality and even complete collapse; have their own struggles. "The Golden Age" is very esoteric or obscure to me, so I can't fully understand Wang Er's struggles, and I can only confirm that Wang Er began to think about my existence after being denied his existence.
who I am? This seems to be a philosophical question, but there are many people in ancient and modern China and abroad, whether they are philosophers or not, who have been studying this issue incessantly and diligently, and even everyone will at least ponder this question in their lifetime. Freud's research on "I" has always been praised as a classic, and Ouyang Feng's rant about "who I am" has never been surpassed.
If a man keeps asking himself who I am, he is either a philosopher or a lunatic. Aren't geniuses and madmen often one step away? People who can think about this problem generally need to meet the following three conditions:
first, have leisure time;
second, real life is unhappy or even extremely gloomy;
third, want and be willing to change.
The first point is a prerequisite. If you are so busy that you don’t even have time to seriously eat breakfast, you won’t be so bored to think about the problem of not being able to eat or spend money. The second point is a prerequisite. When you feel lost and helpless in life, you need to recognize who I am, why I am the way I am now, and what role I should play. The third point is naturally the trigger. Those who are willing to change become geniuses, and those who are obsessed naturally become lunatics.
Buddhism believes in reincarnation and reincarnation. The reincarnation is divided into six realms: the realm of heaven, the realm of humans, the realm of asuras, the realm of animals, the realm of hungry ghosts, and the realm of hell.
The so-called "Nirvana Sutra" is the last teaching of Buddha Sakyamuni before Nirvana. It is stated in the sutra that hell can be divided into eight hot hells, of which the lowest and most painful is the Avici hell that makes people tremble. Abi is a Sanskrit transliteration, meaning "without interruption", that is, pain without interruption. A's words are non-existent, the nose is between the names, it is timeless, it is no space, it is a realm of infinite karmic rewards, so Avici Hell is also called "Uninterrupted Hell". All living beings suffer here, die and live, live and die again and again, without interruption.
For three years, three years, everyone suffered from the hell on earth, and then went to the hell and continued to struggle. Isn't it Avici Hell? The third is a very strange and strange number. There was a one-year college entrance examination Chinese national paper composition that took it as the topic. I heard that I was stumped, but I was amazed by a number of teachers. Three can represent both stability and redundancy, so it is not easy for three people to have a good relationship. Huang Zhicheng, Han Chen, Mary; Han Chen, Chen Yongren, Liu Jianming; Chen Yongren, Ni Yongxiao, Huang Zhicheng; Li Xiner, Chen Yongren, Liu Jianming; Yang Jinrong, Liu Jianming, Shen Cheng... This kind of trio is casual, both enemies and true temperaments . Everyone is in multiple relationship circles, and they don't know black and white. Let's start with doubts. Whoever shows his sincerity first will lose, and even whoever will die first. Killing does not clear whether you are friend or foe, or friend and foe.
So make friends don't rush to take a stand, because you probably haven't figured out who I am yet. Not who I want to be, but who I am now. There is a reason that is most suitable to express through Liu Jianming. The mistakes made by a good person can be forgotten. After his death, he will still be remembered as a good person, and his heroic soul will live forever; but a bad person can't wash away his dark origin no matter how much good he does, even when he dies. deserve it. Although people cannot clearly delineate the boundaries between good people and bad people, the underworld and the white are still distinct. People will despise the scum in the white way, but they will never praise the true meaning of the underworld. That's why Mary asked for a divorce because she didn't know who her husband was. Is this hypocrisy? Facing the same person, if he is a policeman, he will love him, if he is in the underworld, he will leave, and if he is a prisoner who is riddled with holes, he will forgive him and continue to love him. Who is she in love with? It was the police, not Liu Jianming.
How does the King of Hell distinguish between good and evil in the human world? Of course the King of Hell knows who he is, so does he know who the person who accepts the judgment is? For example, for moral violations, there may be lighter punishments in the human world. Can the trial in the underworld clear up the entanglements in the human world? There are already too many troubles and confusions in the human world, so let the problems of the underworld be left to the sentient beings in the underworld. Freud divided "I" into id, ego, and superego. The id is too much to release the nature, the super-ego pursues too much perfection, and the ego is the most appropriate state. When I stopped to think about who I was, I was already on the edge of a cliff. I can forget who I was, but I can't lose who I am now. Whether it is the id, ego or superego, at least I am still me, at least there is room for reason.
If the identity is in someone else's hands, I have a choice too. Chen Yongren met a former policeman when he was in prison. He was assimilated by the underworld because he worked undercover for too long, and then accepted the reality and became a real underworld. Liu Jianming also chose to defect. Chen Yongren chose to stick to it, but he seems to have reached the limit. Society gives each person a different identity, and each person is given multiple identities. Thinking about who I am is also, in a way, an identification or betrayal of one's own social identity. Once you choose to betray, it will be difficult to establish a sense of identity and recognition, which should be one of the reasons why Liu Jianming is more tormented than Chen Yongren. It's not so much who I am as what social role I'm more eager to play. Even if you can't help yourself, unnecessary struggle can be regarded as self-salvation.
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