Fortunately, this movie is not only suitable for one person to watch, but also made me think and answer many of my recent doubts during the watching process.
My doubts: 1. What kind of life do I want? 2. Should I do what I want to do? 3. Should I be held back from being who I want to be by the idea of following the crowd and the so-called sense of responsibility?
I was overwhelmed by a mixed emotion when I saw Rudy's dad express his incomprehension about why Philip wanted to go to the Twin Towers for a tightrope walk, but was willing to show his support. Probably all people want support when they do things they don't understand, especially in intimate relationships, parents, partners, mentors. Philip's parents, just like my parents, the father was determined to not accept the image of his son who was not his, "the carrot is already cooked", the father shouted when Philip ran away from home, the mother cried sharply, begging for her husband Give your child another chance. "The carrots are already cooked," Philip also responded loudly, angrily pushing his wheelbarrow, carrying a large bag, and quickly left the house. If you want to be yourself, you are basically 100% unbearable for some people in your intimate relationship, but do you give up on yourself in this way, and lose yourself in order to maintain that relationship? Where exactly is heavier and which can be sacrificed?
My father also said to me when I was little when I wanted to do something that I liked and he didn't want me to do that, "Do you think you can do whatever you want?" Words are like a confinement spell. Whenever I want to do something in my later life, I will warn myself: Can you really accomplish it? It's not that you can do what you want! When I want to learn an instrument, when I want to write a novel, when my life plan is different from most "normal people". Later, even when I had the ability to do those things, I chose not to do them. Can I do them well? Can it be done perfectly? In this way, I became a coward who pursued perfection and always envied others, but did not try anything.
In the process of watching the movie, I kept thinking that people in life can be roughly divided into three parts, some people don’t know what they want, just follow the pace of most people and keep their lives as they are; some people are lucky , I understand what my ideal life is, and I am constantly approaching it; there are some people, oh, it's me, I don't know what kind of life I want to live, but let me follow everyone's footsteps without thinking. I feel extremely painful to go. so what should I do? In the process of thinking, I remembered the phrase "Do you still think you can do whatever you want?". Then I... do you want to challenge this sentence and keep doing what I want to do, I think maybe I can find the answer to how I want to live.
Maybe I'll get nowhere, because the universal truth is: To be successful, you have to focus on one thing. There are too many things I want to do, and too many things I have never dared to do because of all kinds of worries. But wait, what is success, do I need this stuff? Didn't I grow up doing what everyone thinks I should be? What did you get? Are you satisfied? Even if you fail to be yourself, will it be worse than it is now? I don't think so, my life is not the way I like it now, which is bad enough.
I find a pattern in my life worth focusing on, and I naturally focus. Now I just need to keep trying, don't be afraid of failure, even if I fail, it is a decision I made, and I have to find a way to bear it. This is what my heart says to myself.
According to my current experience, I have done whatever I particularly wanted to do, and most of them have been successful. Looking back now, I still have great happiness and satisfaction in my heart. Some things are my own choice, but I don't like the result, but I am also suffering. There is a difference between being successful at something that I choose to do and the joy of being successful at what others think I should be doing. The former can still feel joy in aftertaste, while the latter will be like boiled water, a result.
Philip was fortunate to have accomplished what he wanted to do in his heart, and he had gained a group of "abnormal people" like him before, and won the support of a master who did not understand him.
Maybe my choice to do something that worries me but also appeals to me is a betrayal, but I hope you'll stick with it, I said to myself.
ps: I want to practice writing movie reviews and reading notes, and then put them up for discussion with everyone, but I’m worried about something that’s too bad to be written. In fact, who cares, so I still put it up. Come up, haha.
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