"There is no way to know what makes one thing happen and not another. What leads to what. What destroys what. What causes what to flourish or die or take another cause. What if I forgive myself. What if I was sorry. But if I could go back in time, I wouldn't do a single thing differently...What if all those things I did were the things that got me here? What if I was never redeemed. What if I already was . My life, like all lives, mysterious, irrevocable and scared. So very close. So very present. So very belonging to me. How wild it was...let it be. ”
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