Life is so heavy that you can't bear it anymore. You see that other people's lives are bright and bright, and you act as a foil for the gloom in such bright and bright, and you don't believe that you can shine like that. This brilliance makes you feel inferior, makes you blame yourself, and makes you escape, but at the same time makes you long for it. London, London, are you the light in Woolf's heart?
Maybe you just tried suicide, maybe you hid in the bathroom last night and cried a lot, and the next day, no, even the next second, you put on a smiling mask and face others, talking about social situations It seems that there is no difficulty in greeting and chatting what should be said. Days like this become difficult for you every day. Because it's too fake, you have to keep putting on the mask, as long as you face others, you have to put on the mask, and life becomes your drama. Laura Brown, how quickly you took off your mask and put it on after you dropped your son off at a friend's house, tried to commit suicide in a hotel, and then went back to pick up your son.
You are easily touched by death, you want to make a deal with the devil, you want disaster to come and take your life. But you are afraid, you are afraid that the day when you will be better, and the day when you can be glorious, you will be taken away by death.
You feel like the world is fake, you don't believe the kind words people say, you doubt anyone's good words, you're not sure how long you'll be able to last in this world. You feel so tired, you maintain a world inside and a world outside every day. When people talk, you need to respond appropriately, you can't let others see your sadness. After all, nobody likes to be sad, right? You are afraid that once you show sadness once, you will no longer be able to control yourself in the future, and then your unbridled sadness will drive everyone around you.
You are afraid that you are sick, you are afraid that one day you will break down. You, never believe in yourself.
You know something is wrong with you. You have to convince yourself with reason, and sometimes tell yourself, I'm fine. But he immediately suspected that it was nothing more than words of consolation.
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