I see all kinds of people who are forced by money, desire, and self to varying degrees. , change yourself from the inside out. A year ago, A and I were both freshmen in college, finally liberated from the extremes of de-sexualization in high school, and consciously dressed up. Guess how many layers of chemicals we put on our faces when we wake up on a hot September morning? Foundation, sunscreen, light makeup. . We thought it was a sign of growing up - actually I didn't think so, but a lot of people around me think so, and it's still comfortable to stay in the group opinion - we wear this thick mask and feel that we have found a resonance . Go, socialize, go out, go to the college life (or adult life) you've imagined you'd dream of. After a semester, I vaguely felt that I had no blessing (or no endowment) to accept adult life. Its requirements for talent, background, appearance and personality were beyond my ability. I was just an ordinary person; Being infinitely close to the center of her life, she works very hard to change herself from the inside out, and she has been working hard to pursue what she wants. After a winter vacation, I went to a distant place and felt the charm of independent consciousness again; when I came back, she was still running on the track of pursuing prosperity, but I only discovered that this track turned out to lead to outer space. In the spring semester, I don't see her often, and she doesn't see me often. She put on more eye-catching makeup and my makeup started eating dust. With her, more and more movie-like stories happened; I gradually went back and felt what it means to return to the basics. To this day, I go out without applying anything on my face after getting up. The first thing I do when I get home is to wash my face. I hate the feeling of stickiness and airtightness on my face. Since I went from high school to college seamlessly, and there was nothing that had a major impact on me and stimulated me to become a watershed in my life, there is no reason for me to suddenly change from a high school girl who is obediently wearing a school uniform. Become a fashionable woman with all kinds of high heels every day. To paraphrase the words in McDull: adults are just grown-up children. Essentially, I'm still a kid, and I like that expectation of the world and I'm proud of it.
Changes on the outside are 100% related to changes on the inside, no exceptions.
Looking back at that time, A and I, who also loved dressing up, went in completely different directions today, and the impact of that history on us now is almost the opposite, which is hard to avoid. What caused the two different trajectories?
Is a woman's makeup purely for herself, or is it a flattery to men? There is nothing wrong with the makeup that is happy for yourself, no matter whether "the reason why the pregnancy is not open" is because of excessive pressure or pure smugness. If it evolves into a tool to attract men - this will be discussed at two levels. If it's just to attract men, it doesn't hurt yourself, and you get what you want in the end. Animals must have the need for mating, which is one of the costs of human reproduction. (Of course, from the perspective of pure love, the attraction between men and women does not need to be deliberate, and makeup is not necessary.) But if it reaches the level of flattering men, even at the expense of women themselves for this purpose The comfort level (how many blisters and how many wounds have high-heeled shoes worn on women's feet? Contact lenses are a natural disaster for girls who are born with bad eyes, and it is extremely easy to induce acute conjunctivitis. There are also sayings on the Internet that it is irreversible to the conjunctiva. permanent damage, long-term dryness and foreign body sensation in the eyes are not mentioned) or health (plastic surgery, plastic surgery), it is basically equivalent to admitting that women are inferior to men, and they need to be flattered and flattered to get what women want. Once such feudal ideas exist in women, gender equality is completely impossible to find, and on the other hand, it contributes to the male dominance of the world. It is worth mentioning that women's flattering tendencies may come from two aspects - one is directly from the outside world, such as survival pressure, of course, this situation has not been seen in my world - the other is indirect. It comes from the outside world, directly from the women themselves. For example, you have watched a lot of episodes of If You Are the One/Mother-in-law picks a son-in-law/One hundred in a hundred (this is a message from the outside world), and then you find that women in this world should choose a rich man as her husband , and the rich men almost unanimously chose the women with big eyes, high nose, white skin, big breasts, thin waist and long legs under heavy makeup (in fact, if you are the one, there is not a female guest who is not wearing very heavy makeup, I am very concerned about the concentration of makeup Expressing consternation!), those girls who have been "unwilling in any aspect" from childhood like A are naturally afraid that they will not be able to have enough material enjoyment in the future, so that they can't live well and can't compare to others in front of others, after all "I have been excellent all the way", so "although the standard for measuring adults and the standard for measuring children have undergone a 180-degree turn", "I still want to show everyone that I can adapt to this society. Then I'm the best by any measure!". So such a strong and almost oppressive self-motivation creates a tendency to flatter men - after all, when a woman is judged by her marriage, her It is difficult for a woman in this society to insist on pursuing her own self as a man rather than herself, since no matter how powerful and beautiful the self is, it cannot be truly recognized by most people. The embarrassing situation of the female doctor is an example.
I don't know if A's have any doubts about this value system in their hearts. I have got. It ran through almost my entire freshman year, and it used to make me very depressed, extremely puzzled about the world, and couldn't find a place to live. I should thank God, I finally began to see how the word feminism is written, and see how to change from a female student to a female social person, and I have to choose how to change. I have been a perfectionist child since I was a child, and I have had a smooth journey. It seems that I am no different from the A's. From the standards you can quantify such as academic performance; but, if I want to say it myself, I am with them. There is a difference, and this difference is called self-awareness or independence, and I'm proud of it.
Since I entered the university, there have been many strange people and things around me. I sneered at first, but then I calmed down and thought about it. It was a blessing to see so many strange creatures. It gave me a better understanding of different aspects of human nature. Perhaps this strange flower is an enlarged and exaggerated version of one of my aspects. I saw the people around me, saw their history and path, then I saw humanity, I saw myself.
I think this is only the first half of the story. Later, I watched a movie called "All the time", and the feminist content of concern extended from wearing makeup to other aspects, the choice of self-life, and the stereotype positioning of women's roles in society. I recently started watching Virginia Woolf, and I should not have finished thinking about it.
I have always felt a little sorry, that is, when someone recommends me a good book or movie, I know rationally that it is good, but emotionally I can't read it. In fact, this shows that fate has not yet arrived, and the enlightenment of this topic has not yet arrived. Before I met A, before my freshman year, when you talked to me about women's rights, I thought it was an abstract word. I experienced these things in my freshman year. During the winter vacation, Fangdai gave me Virginia Woolf's book. In June, I got "The Moment" on FDUPT. All these coincidences were combined to spell out relevant thoughts. All doctrines still originate from life.
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