I was almost as depressed as Ree when I watched Winter's Bone . It was Ching Ming Festival, the company had a holiday, but I couldn't find a place to go. I originally planned to go back to my hometown, because my grandmother was sick again, but the money was dirty, and it was really difficult to make the trip. After a month's salary, there is not much left to be divided up. My current state is just surviving and waiting. Will the future be better? For now that's for sure, I just have to wait.
I called my grandma at noon. I don't know when it started, and I became more and more afraid to call her. An old man in his seventies, I should always contact her no matter what. The grandma on the phone was always so negative, always complaining to me about this and that. It seemed like there was a winter between the phone and the phone. Her words always felt cold and aching in my ears. Grandma's self-esteem is very strong, she cares so much about what other people say, and she is so sensitive. I am a farmer, but I can't feel the simplicity of a farmer. Later, what my grandmother taught me the most was how the family was looked down upon and bullied. Of course, I also know that there was a reason why my grandfather built the house far away from the brigade. Did he say he liked cleanliness when he was a child? So I understand her feelings of being forced to revitalize the lintel. Her father and uncle worked hard for most of their lives, but they could not get rid of their fate. I could see that they did not have the skills and qualities to become rich people, that is, ordinary low-level society. , like the thousands of people who are destined not to be rich. I am not a pessimist, but I also believe that some things are doomed. Some people are like pawns and pawns on a chessboard. Every time the whole game is over, their positions have not been moved. Even if they do, they will move step by step. Go slowly. It's not that they are not important, it's just that from the moment they are branded as soldiers and pawns, their fate is already doomed, it's just their existence that makes them appear complete on the chessboard.
I used to think that if my grandparents and fathers worked harder and fought a little more, would my life be easier now? At least not under the pressure of revitalizing the lintel? This kind of thinking is ridiculous, just like the history of the great era is unchangeable, the history of a family cannot be shaken. And as I get older, I find that I don't seem to have the skills and qualities to be rich. I can climb a little higher than my parents, but I don't know where I can climb. The family did not inherit any good genes for me, except for a good face that my parents gave me, but I did not rely on it to bring me any love life. Sometimes I have to believe in fatalism, what is the source, and what I am after all. Sometimes I feel unwilling. My favorite story is that someone went from nothing to the top of society, thinking that others can, but why can’t I? Thinking of this, I often feel that I will have what kind of struggle and will have inextinguishable enthusiasm. However, like I said earlier, there is a lack of a quality, such as grit. I often give myself a wry smile, you are an ordinary person after all.
Isn't it bad to be a normal person? Of course it's good, if you can relax and live your life comfortably, of course it's good. Looking at the fading faces of my parents, I sincerely hope that they can enter the second half of their lives in a simple way, without having too many expectations. It's not that I can't have expectations. The next generation is better than the previous generation. There is no doubt about it. If I put my expectations within my reach, I will not be so tired.
I think, when a person's life comes to an end, there will be a line in one place, waiting to pass a door, and the people in the front, back, left and right will be geniuses like Qiao Gangzhu, and they will also be ordinary farmers. After passing through that door, we have no attributes and become a blooming flower. But will my children and grandchildren hope that I will work harder and strive for a little more? Maybe at that time, the time-space shuttle had been invented, and they would go back to my era and use the Inception method to implant an idea deep in my subconscious. Hehe, I don't know, it's just that I feel better now, it's like I've come to the beach full of sunny beaches, although I don't know how I got here.
BTW I have a goal of one day writing real movie reviews.
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