When I read it, I was very excited, thinking about what I must write, but now that my mood has calmed down, there are thousands of words I don’t know where to start, so I admire the person who wrote this story for putting things that I can’t say easily. Said it all for me.
When I was in high school, a boy pursued me, saying I was the prettiest in the class, he liked it at first sight, in a disgusting frivolous tone, I kept rejecting him, calling him crazy, and he started insulting me , shaming my body, insulting my performance in group activities, then he went to Australia and we never got in touch again, but I always think about it, in a sense I hate him and myself at the time Why didn't he use the worst swear words to scold me when he humiliated me? I fantasized about using the medieval torture to pass him through, fantasizing about his death without a whole corpse.
I also wondered if I was a little too fussy, why should I be so bothered by a little thing that happened a long time ago. But in fact I understand that what I hate is not just the few words he said, I hate him and the group he represents and the power behind it, the absurdly twisted and time-honored power that supports men who can verbally insult and even Acts of violence against women with little consequence.
I remember when the parasite was hot, many people were discussing the end of the film, thinking that the plot of the male protagonist killing the rich man at the end was too abrupt. The rich man in the film didn’t seem to be doing anything wrong. A knife from the male protagonist. Some people also said that if it weren't for the magnificent canyon, the two female protagonists rushing off the cliff would not be credible... You must know that there is an unbearable resistance in the world, "she doesn't look like someone who can do such a thing", but She just did it, she did it in a hurry, she acted recklessly, it was unbelievable, and she did it madly without regret. The beautiful canyon just adds a romantic vibe to the romantic practice.
I never knew what I was worrying about, what was holding me back, I didn't know why I couldn't sing in the classroom like the boys, all I wanted to do was sing in the classroom, sing in the hallway, where I wanted to sing It's time to sing without having to be pointed, like a lot of guys do. I don't know why many people think that girls have no sense of humour, lack of charm, stiff, I don't know why I often dare not stand up and express my true self.
But I know very well that this is not my fault, and I also know very well that I am not a good girl, and I will never become what the people who want to manipulate me want me to be.
When I remember watching Shanyin, the author mentioned that there was a survey showing that the most pleasing thing for female employees was being praised in public. After so many years, women in East Asian countries have suffered so much from being watched and interfered. Maybe they have become The first step to being more comfortable is not to care so much about what other people think.
Since I came into this fucking world, everything around me has been telling me you have to put up with a lot of things because you're a woman and maybe the insecurities of sex will stay with me for the rest of my life, but I think someone will tell me later How about a girl I'll tell him go fuck yourself, after all shameless bastards live longer.
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