have been restraining myself from thinking about or watching the movies that have been on the hard drive for a long time, I have been just flipping through them, as if I had a premonition a long time ago , after watching it, it will be ugly to cry like now.
But I still decided to watch it, because I always remember a sentence from the instructor of the film appreciation class, we feel some film good because we can feel what it tells.
Maybe for most women, a good friend like Dex at the beginning, Male friends are a luxury. He's charming, he's personable, he'll coax women, he's got a job worth showing off and a decent family, he'll dress up, be a little bad, and have everything a man should have, a fatal attraction. They are always surrounded by beautiful women and never lack topics.
But what Em fell in love with was the bastard who poured wine on her hair at a friend's birthday party that day. It was one early morning in 1989, on the streets of Edinburgh, that bastard who finally remembered her name. No matter how many girls he slept with, he could still stare at her silently behind her. Although she didn't know it, he actually loved her all the time.
He was so good that she could only look up at him from behind, write poems with weird rhymes, long, long letters, and provide a shoulder when he was decadent. She always thought he was too good, even though he was getting worse, not so good.
Every time I watch a movie like this, I feel a sudden realization, as if I finally understand that this is love. Then I cried to a mess, and after crying I found that there was no one who could share this feeling.
I'm not lonely, I'm alone.
It's like saying this to yourself to convince yourself that being single is a choice you make, not a life life makes. It seems that by saying this to myself, I can convince myself that it’s not that no one wants it, it’s just that I haven’t met the right person yet.
But the truth is the truth, although I have been encouraging myself to be optimistic and think in a better way, but the truth is that after watching the movie, flipping through QQ, I can even tell him, "I watched a very touching movie, and then I cried. There is no one who suffers so badly.
I have been waiting patiently all the time, waiting for someone who will say "No, you're fine" even if I ask him "am I ugly" in a disheveled face.
Then I can write him poems with weird rhymes, long, long love letters, sing ugly songs to him with a pinched voice, and let him sleep on my stomach.
My best friend told me on QQ that she was pregnant. This little girl, who was full of little girl ideas, married a man who spoiled her so much, and then got pregnant.
I don't know why, I'm so happy, but so panicky.
The writing is messed up.
fucking bastard, when u gonna come.
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