On the way to travel in Beihai, I suddenly want to re-read "Love is in the Trilogy" - the standard of the chatter film. I will watch it again after many years. I don't want to miss every word, and the feeling is different from yesterday. Record some moments.
When people really talk, it's the beginning of love.
Jesse and Celine's love began when they met in Vienna. Different from the general talk of wine and meat, they discuss grand narratives such as love, gender, politics, environmental protection, and religion. Of course, they also have innate differences in thinking between men and women. It seems to be a regret determined by biological genes. In the relationship between the sexes, men are more able to maintain a rational and independent space, while women are more likely to be full of ideals and lose themselves in intimate relationships.
Says Jesse: "Let's say, ten to twenty years later, you get married, and your marriage is no longer passionate, and you start thinking about people you've met in the past. You imagine, if it was with one of them, , now? I'm one of them. You'll find that I'm a failure like your husband, unmotivated and boring. You didn't make the wrong choice."
And Celine thinks it's just the opposite. "I really fall in love when I know everything about a person. How he divides his hair, which shirt he wears on a day, knowing exactly which story he's going to tell on a given occasion, when I When I knew that, I was sure I really fell in love with him."
Jesse said: "I want to be a good father and a good husband every now and then, and it's easy to do, but I worry that it will ruin my life. It's not about being afraid of commitment, or my lack of love, it's just because, I I'd rather give in the things I love than in some relationships."
Celine said: "I used to work for an older man who had dedicated his entire life to his career. At 52, he suddenly realized he had never given himself anything, he had done nothing for anyone. I Believe that if there is a God, it is not in us, not in you or in me, but only between people. If there is any miracle in the world, it must be trying to understand others and share the joys and sorrows with them.”
We love and are loved. But what exactly is love? I don't know, it's too complicated.
Is love necessarily pure beauty? Facing the greed, selfishness, cowardice, hesitation, repetition, and boredom that are habitually hidden in the subtleties of human nature, will you fall in love soberly, or will you be foolishly whitewashing the peace.
The beauty of love may lie in its inevitable passing, and it is this finiteness that gives certain times a special and important sense of ritual. Before Jesse and Celine said goodbye, they didn't plan for the distant future. In real life, the story should come to an end. The advantage of the movie is that it can arrange for them to meet again in Paris after 9 years.
Years later, we realize that before we can love someone, we must learn to love ourselves first.
At this time, Celine, who is over 30 years old, still has occasional anxiety and confusion in her life, but she is no longer full of crises. The background of life is hard and painful, learn to accept all imperfections, and only when we find balance in ourselves can we truly build relationships with others.
In the movie, I especially like that when Celine reunites with Jesse, she talks about her work with an environmental organization, and she says she's lucky to have found a job she loves.
She is worried about the devastating disaster that economic development will bring to the human environment. She has traversed dozens of countries, walked tens of thousands of kilometers, and worked countless days and nights, just to do a little thing that can make the world a better place. And she has achieved certain results, and environmental issues have begun to be taken seriously by the government.
She began to no longer rush for a result, but to enjoy the process of doing every little thing well, calmly and down-to-earth. As predicted by the astrologers of the year, she was an adventurer, explorer full of female power, and finally became such a brave, independent woman.
She's honest and truthful that it's still important to love and be loved, "I don't need a man to support me...but I still need a man to love me and I love him too." It's not about love brains or more Men and women are equal, they need love, they are not fragile and shameful, and they are not childish or ridiculous.
She talked about her profession, work, ideals and feelings, exuding a bright light. What moved me even more was that Jesse listened to her carefully and patiently, and responded to her gently and sincerely: "The world will be a better place because there are more and more people like you."
If...you meet a person who can make you feel relaxed, comfortable and true to be who you are, and appreciate, respect and love you from the bottom of your heart, how lucky and happy you are.
In a sense, we love someone because we love who we are when we are with them, who is genuine and authentic.
When we are young, we always think that life is long and we will meet many people and fall in love with different people. Later, you found that there are very few people who can reach each other's hearts.
In the film, another nine years later, Jesse and Celine have settled in Paris and have twin daughters.
In their married life, they should, like most couples, have a moment when "at a certain age, they lose the ability to listen to each other. Men lose the ability to listen to high notes, and women lose the ability to listen to low notes." Perhaps it is also the magic secret of a couple being able to "grow old and not kill each other".
Love has lost its freshness and passion in the trivial and ordinary firewood, rice, oil, salt and chicken feathers, but it is still difficult for women to let go of the romantic and fragile projection of love. During an argument, Jesse poked my heart out, saying to Celine, "You're like a little girl, like most other women, you want to live in your own fairy tale. I love you, no doubt about it, I gave my whole life to you and this family, never to anyone else. I have endured everything you have, crazy or smart, this is you, you won't change, and I don't want to change you."
"But romantic perfect love is deceitful bullshit, life is not a fairy tale. I am willing to bow my head first in conflict, because I want to solve the problem, if you think, I will be like a dog, always turning back Come to you, then you are wrong. But if you want true love, then this is true love. This is real life, imperfect but real."
Love is not a holy fantasy, a moral high ground, divorced from reality, a castle in the air. In the secular life of ordinary people, it is not easy to fall in love with each other. It is simple and crude, and cannot overcome all difficulties. It requires mutual compromise and acceptance. Love may be rooted in the details of life and only exist for an eternity of a moment; it may also be the only rational behavior after weighing the pros and cons.
Two people who love each other again are still two separate individuals. In our life, we meet many people, they appear and disappear, like sunrise and sunset, everything is so fleeting.
As we live, we appear and disappear. We are important to some people, but we just pass each other.
Later you find that the most important thing in life is not the love you have for a person, but the love of life. It doesn't matter if you are vain or vanity, and most importantly, you can be clear and determined.
Human relationships are essentially all about getting to know yourself better. Love is important, but more important is what you want to do, who you want to be, and what kind of life you want to live.
In a patriarchal society, women's consciousness awakening and self-growth are full of intricate and imperceptible negation and suppression, which in turn leads women to struggle to explore, recognize and find themselves in repeated self-doubt, swing and remodeling.
Beauvoir said in "Second Sex": "The great fortune of a man is that he has to take a very hard road, both in adulthood and in childhood, but it is the surest one; Surrounded by an almost irresistible temptation, she is not asked to push up, but encouraged to slide down to bliss. By the time she finds herself being fooled by a mirage, it is too late, her power has been lost in a failed adventure exhausted."
Life is not about being a philanthropist, and love is not about helping the poor. What women cannot achieve by themselves will most likely not be achieved through marriage. Even if they are lucky enough to have it, they will eventually be repaid in another way.
Evolving into a better self should be a self-aware and conscious responsibility and obligation, as well as a lifetime of homework and practice. I only hope that in the future, we can appreciate more diverse things, accommodate more different things, and deal with more complex things. Let life naturally exist in every minute and every second of this moment.
Thanks for the years and experience, and maybe a little bit of wisdom. To my thirty-year-old self, I prefer you now.
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