I was also thinking hard about my interpersonal relationships recently, and I discovered this fact—my mother was the same, and I was unconsciously influenced by her example.
In the movie, Jane is obedient to other people's requirements and everything is perfect. Now that she understands the other party's expectations, even if she knows how much trouble she will be uncomfortable, she will still do it one by one without being disobedient. Because it is obvious that your rejection will make the other person uncomfortable. Especially for people with close relationships like relatives and friends, those things that really make them uncomfortable in their words and deeds will never be brought up for communication, but they will only be persuaded to be patient.
But does love really just endure?
When this discomfort builds up too much, the result is cautious distancing. This is the instinct of human self-preservation. Therefore, even if they were friends who had a good understanding of each other, and how close relatives they were, once one party started to close their hearts to keep their distance, the other party could only be kept out of the door.
Didn't you also see Jane's almost frantic outburst at her sister's engagement in the movie? This way of handling even the people around me thinks it is too much. If it was my mother, she would definitely handle it like this. I felt this way at that moment, which is the inevitable result of this character.
What if you could communicate? When you have real feelings about other people's words and deeds, why can't you step forward and tell them how you feel? If she had been honest about her feelings since she was a child, from the very beginning of her sister's meeting with her Boss, things wouldn't have been so extreme.
But doing this step of communication is such a difficult thing for me. Feeding the person back on the incident itself is far more uncomfortable than the incident itself, like asking me to slap the other person in front of everyone's face, or play the vixen in a quiet classroom and swear at the street. I can not do it. Of course I know that this communication is just gentle feedback using language arts and is good for both parties. But I just can't separate this kind of thing from the violent fantasies that feel bad.
Of course, you can say that it's because there is nothing in life that touches my bottom line, like the little sister in the movie who changed the mother's cherished wedding dress. What's the bottom line of infuriating? About self-esteem, about interests, about justice, about feelings? I don't have this awareness about being able to get angry and run wild, I think everything is as it should be and everything can be understood.
Yes, I've never been angry. I think to myself, really angry, I have never been. But a friend around you once said that of course you will be angry, and when you are angry, you just don’t say anything. (Oh, I didn't even realize it, it's terrifying that this person could observe me so accurately.) But I don't think that's anger, it's just a backfired disappointment. And the emotional response I'm used to is just self-burial grievances.
Well, the root of grievance and anger should all come from having expectations of others. When you think you are entitled to ask others to change for you, you get angry and speak out about your feelings. When you think that you are not qualified to disturb others to live their own life, you will only be bored to deal with your own wounds and engrave the scars on your heart, and at the same time lose the opportunity to sculpt your life with the other party's character.
Humans interact with each other. If you have been virginally hoping that someone will be able to get along with you without any conflict and communication, it is not naive, but it is too much to dream that a prince charming will fall from the sky.
Think about where your own growth came from? Without any feedback from others on your words and actions, whether you like it or not, can you grow to be what you are today?
Why put such a noble hat on your own withdrawal and laziness? In some cases, the person who can honestly feel that they have an opinion and communicate courageously is the one who is truly responsible.
OK, that's the end of the self-criticism. I admit that I am lazy by living like this and alienating many people from my world. And there's that low self-esteem that could have been thrown away with hard work, but it still depends on me.
You can obviously have deeper relationships with those you like.
-------- Finally, write something related to the movie-----I
like rich episodes. This text was written by listening to be here now.
I like the way the list of people at the end is presented in newspaper pages. The 2008 movie looks very contemporary after seven years. For example, instead of giving a mobile phone to a girl who has lost her handbook, you directly recommend her an app to record to-do items. . Well, there have been no newspapers in my life for a long time, and it is estimated that in a few years, the children who find this piece will be surprised by these daily life scenes in the early 21st century.
Last but not least is a thought about the wedding industry. The US market is indeed more mature. I haven't thought about it - newspapers can also have a page dedicated to writing love stories, and there is still such a demand market. The wedding preparation sites that I followed in the past few years are still vivid in my mind. Even though the customized wedding planning that is separated from the hodgepodge of weddings sounds beautiful and beautiful, the hardships involved are beyond the reach of ordinary love. There are so many elements about weddings in one film, which is also a pretty good window of knowledge.
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