1. I finished 1 and 2. They are by far my favorite British dramas, bar none.
2. This is a comprehensive review of the first and second seasons written in 1 (yes, this also contains spoilers for the second season). Why choose 1? I thought about it for a while: 1 is the biggest reason I like The end of the f**ing world series.
3. It's a drama review, but it's more of my feelings.
Why I like it, I have asked myself many times. Because of its road movie type? Because of the goddamn charming characters of the hero and heroine? Or is it because of the show's deviant British mourning style?
All have.
But what I like most is that it allows me to see my own shadow in the hero and heroine. And I'm super envious of them finally being able to redeem themselves and save each other in the end. So impressed!
The content below may be a bit messy, I just wanted to write some emotions that I wanted to vent, they were messy. Moreover, because I have actually watched the show for a long time, even if I took some pictures at the time, I am a little too lazy to read it now. Therefore, there are no pictures to send, which is difficult for the audience.
Who do I feel I can see my own shadow in?
James.
But J is an exaggerated me. It’s not that I can’t feel any emotions. I can’t be moved because of human relationships, feel the joys and sorrows of others, or feel a sense of belonging, etc.
I have been with the Philharmonic for over 2 years and in the practice department for 3 years. But I now feel like I've never belonged to any of these places. I watched seniors in the orchestra who were the same as me, going back to help and join in the fun when the Philharmonic Orchestra held an annual event like an unplugged concert tonight. But I don't want to participate at all. I feel so different.
Even after 4 p.m., my little sister (the former head of the Philharmonic Western Group) told me about their concert at 6 p.m. tonight and asked me if I would go to see it, I was extremely hesitant. I feel like I don't care about others, where I've been for more than 2 years, and I don't know how to be grateful.
Even in the practice department where I left after being a minister for 3 years, I don't feel that I have anything to do with the new blood in this department. But I am still very grateful to the seniors and seniors who brought me before and my colleagues in the same class who helped me a lot. However, I can't feel the relationship too far.
At the big dinner party of the practice department, the current minister (junior) saw my partner (senior) take out their application form for the practice department at that time (filled with a lot of information), and wept on the spot. I don't know what's holding her back. When she cried, I sat next to her in a daze—why did she cry? Is it the feeling that the memories come up with?
I don't know, but I finally understood it this way: she was in her third year, and when she saw the application form for the interview when they first came, she felt that time passed too fast. She and her friends have had so much in the past two years. A story worth remembering, so moving.
But I have no such feeling at all. Can't feel it, can't understand it.
Like when I graduated before, I didn't even think there was anything special about it. Days can be special and memorable. But emotionally, I don't have any overflowing mood swings, such as reluctance or nostalgia.
I feel like nothing has to do with me, I'm cut off from the world. There is nothing to lose that makes me saddened.
So, when I saw the expressionless, unmoved look on James's face at first. so similar.
As if I felt something was wrong, I tried my best to imitate it, to feel it. To connect with others, to learn to deal with others, to grow and be brave. So after my freshman year, I joined so many clubs and organizations, such as the academy debate team, the Philharmonic Western Troupe, the practice department of the student union, the roller skating club, and so on.
Now in my senior year, when I look back and summarize, I find that I have nothing but to become brave, to grow, and to learn a little bit of communication. Oh no, I also have a good friend or two from the practice department. But I feel like I still don't understand why they are moved, why they have such feelings, why they have such a relationship.
Yes, I failed. And now more and more want to give up to understand these feelings, to give up to integrate into such connections. Therefore, even my graduate job search direction is to try to avoid socialized positions, such as management such as marketing.
In contrast, Alyssa and James are really lucky. Lucky enough to make me envious.
Both are so extreme. One extreme rebellion, one extreme indifference. It was a bit difficult, but they were all rescued in the end. I am so envious. ?️
At the end of the first season, James, even though he knew that he was 18 years old today, still wanted to take all the homicide on himself and excuse Alyssa. As he ran away, his inner monologue was, "The day I just turned 18, I think I understand what people mean to each other." This is James' real transformation.
So, what do people mean to each other? I'm in my 20s and still don't seem to understand. ?️
Is it to accompany? to save each other? is understanding?
not understand.
In 1, the process of their exploration and exploration is really too free. I also want that freedom and disregard. The sad thing is that I can neither be as utterly indifferent as James, nor live alone and decadently brave enough to live for myself without the constraints of reality. I would want to try to understand others, to crave the warmth of others, to have a company like theirs. I would also want to run away, to leave completely selfishly or to live only for myself, but I was tied to my legs by reality and my inner morality.
I still live under the rules of this world, the real me.
In between is the hardest. The same is true when James begins to feel some of his own feelings.
Both children are so deviant, people naturally think of the reasons for the family of origin. It's true in this show that neither of their parents are peace-of-mind.
what about me?
I don't want to discuss my own family of origin here.
I don't know if there is a lack of love, but I am really curious about what love looks like.
I've been wondering now whether I like or envy the boy's feelings. I can't figure it out, I'm afraid of missing it and I'm afraid of being wrong.
After all, being liked and liked by me can come at a great price.
In previous intimate relationships, I was the one who wanted to leave without a purpose. Although I feel much better now thanks to my lovely little sister, I can sense that my essence has not changed much.
about this boy. Wow, he is the definition of bravery in my heart! ! I am so envious of his life - almost bartender, volunteer trips, volunteers, team leader, all Malaysia...
When I'm alone with the guy I like, I basically don't speak, just quietly. He seldom opened the chat box, and most of the time he listened to him quietly and laughed with him when he heard interesting things.
In general, when I was with him, I had a low desire to talk and a strong desire to listen. But I also seem to like it, so I don't know what to say to be more appropriate. I want him to see the real me, so I won't force myself to create some boring topics for some atmosphere.
On the other hand, I was terrified. More than once I wanted to give up my liking for him because of the places where I was "different" from others. I'm like James, I'm afraid we'll be a disaster for him together. Every time I see some feelings expressed in his circle of friends, I am actually very afraid, because those feelings may not be available to me.
In reality, I'm neither James nor Alyssa, and our being together may not be salvation but disaster. I don't want to be accused of "you don't deserve to be with anyone" after causing harm, especially him. ☹️
Although in practice I may be. So sometimes I think, for a person like me, it’s fine to be single. Be kind to yourself and be kind to others.
It seems a bit off. But these are actually the reasons why I like this show.
I resonated. I saw my own shadow in the hero and heroine, the one who was also struggling and lost in youth and wanted to seek redemption.
Alyssa is overshadowed by rapists and murderous blood, and Bonnie's mind has been trapped in the rapist's villa.
Where am I being handcuffed again?
The good news at the end of this show is that although the process is very painful, both Bonnie and the male and female protagonists have been redeemed in the end.
I hope so can I.
Although this world is very dirty, I hope that everyone who comes to this world can finally get enough desired love. ?️
The END of the FUCKING WORLD!
(I still diligently turned out the saved pictures uploaded to the network disk. So, the place where the picture should be posted is finally posted. Damn, my damn perfectionism.)
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