Knowing James before Alyssa, living in the shadow of the disaster of his original family, he believes that it was because he let his mother show him the ducks in the lake that his mother committed suicide, in front of him when he was young. He retained the guilt and let it deteriorate until he completely lost his sense of normalcy in life and he started to self-harm, sticking his hand into the fryer. , let alone how to relieve the pain in James' heart, he will only use lame jokes to create a self-deceiving hilarity. So the backlog of pain was unbearable, and he wanted to kill to vent. Did he really want to kill Alyssa? Maybe at first. But maybe this has gradually become an excuse, maybe he also longs for someone to integrate into his life, long for real company, maybe he also wants to cover up his feelings and hide himself. After meeting Alyssa, James, no matter what happened, stayed on the sidelines, kept silent until he learned to express and regained his emotions. "That was the day I learned that silence is really loud. Deafening. When you have silence, it's hard to keep stuffs out. It's all there" James, before the age of 18, has been suffering from guilt, and the scene of his mother committing suicide emerges from time to time It wasn't until the day of his 18th birthday that he finally revealed his heart to her and she also said to him "It's not your fault." He finally got out of this guilt, he learned how to grow and love "I've just turned 18, and I think I understand, what people mean to each other.
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