Maybe everyone has thought about leaving this world, leaving everything in the world. However, blindly indulging and exaggerating emotions will lead to loss of control.
"Lazy, wayward, girl who wants to drive herself crazy." That's probably the most accurate description for me. I also had an emotional meltdown for a year or so, and at that time, I felt terribly miserable every day. Countless times I wanted to end my life, to suspend my chaotic life, to escape everything I couldn't handle. That feeling, as if everything in the world is in motion, only I pause, and I don't know how to react or how to fit in anyway. It wasn't sudden, it was an outburst of accumulated negative emotions and ideas, a depressive downpour that drenched me, and I tried to find a shelter from the downpour, but found nowhere to hide.
But I wasn't crazy after all, I was still wrapped in a muddled motion and moved forward together, and gradually let go of some thoughts. Although now I occasionally sleepless nights and often cry in the dark, I no longer pin my hopes on an impossible escape. I chose to face the world in front of me. I don't know what my current state will be, but I at least let myself go.
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