The original lover in the movie and the helpless couple in reality, no matter how you look at it, I don't think it should be like this. Dean's desperation can be deeply felt, the kind of desperately trying to save but only getting her apology
It turns out that sadness and suffering are different
There are many sad moments in my life, I feel sorry in my heart, wipe my tears, look out the window, it seems that this is not a big deal, maybe occasionally my heart will still be affected, and I will be stabbed suddenly, but it is all right. , you understand that it will all pass, no big deal. But being uncomfortable is different. I'm not a free and easy person. For me, being uncomfortable is crying and slamming on the door panel helplessly and cowardly like Dean. I think Dean already knew that this was the end he was going to face, he must have seen the gap between them, and he didn't want to face it and say "let's get out of this house let's get out of here"
People are really shameful animals. That afternoon, I suddenly realized that I was about to face the answers I already knew. I suddenly didn't have the courage to do anything, I didn't have the courage to step into the classroom, and I didn't have the strength to smile and greet my classmates. , I hid by the basketball court and cried while talking on the phone with my friends. The weather was fine that day. Although it was winter, there was sunshine like summer. Now, I love her so much, how can she be like this?” Yunyun, the friend on the other end of the phone has been comforting me with her remarks like “what you buy is what you earn” and “the next one will be even better”, but at the moment I don’t know what to do. I don't want to accept all this, it's too hard, what I hoped in my heart was that someone told me that everything was possible, and I also knew in my heart how funny this thought was, it was all too hard to bear, I Would rather maintain the illusion than face the reality.
After hanging up the phone and the wind blowing across my tear-filled face, I realized that even with the sun, this winter has been unusually cold for me.
Therefore, if sadness is an uncomfortable feeling caused by the inevitable choices on the road of life, then sadness can be described as staying in place and rejecting everything. Everything after that was not so important. I didn’t eat or drink in the dormitory for two days. I lost four pounds. I covered myself in the quilt and tried not to cry. I wondered how someone could be so heartless. I once prayed that the phrase "sorrow is greater than death of the heart" could come to me, and the death of the heart right now, without feeling anything, is always better than being wrecked and unable to breathe.
This idea is too naive.
You always say that you are a person with no interesting soul, just a good-looking skin, and I like to say that you are a boring plmm, but you were not like this before.
You will smile and talk to me sweetly. When I first met you, you were busy in the bedroom like a bee, rubbing here and there, and I followed behind you pretending to be nonchalant, annoyed how I could be with you Say one more word without appearing too enthusiastic. At that time, you tied up your hair and carefully shoveled the small advertisement on the door, and the sweat on the tip of your nose turned into a beautiful light. "It's so beautiful," my classmates and I did not hesitate to praise me, "rabbits don't eat grass on the edge of the nest," my classmate warned me with eyes. But that's why I don't care about the grass or not. At that time, everyone around me wanted to pass the military training and usher in a new university life, and I was thinking about how to talk to you more.
The fact is that I was deliberately trying to get acquainted with you during the dormitory cleaning, but after you were done with your tasks, you enthusiastically asked everyone if there was anything that needed to be repaired, and the roommates happily called you "Tianluo girl". You sit on the bed and sew everyone's military training uniforms, and the braids go around the other shoulders. Maybe you really have the charm of "Tianluo girl", but I don't want to call you a Tianluo girl. I thought you TM It's a fairy, it's okay to come down to earth, what a snail girl, it's too earthy. At that time, I silently said in my heart that I wanted to call you "Fairy". Later, you jokingly asked me if I had called other girls "Fairy" in such a glib manner. Don't they all say "the world is not worth it"? They are not worth it, they are all fake, you are the real fairy. Later, the name of the fairy was spread, and it was almost three years after such a call.
The military training ended soon. When I went home on National Day, I couldn't believe it. Others may recall this time as miserable. When I closed my eyes, I could see the two of us sitting in the shade. Chatting with you, I can see your two tiger-toothed smiles, and I will remember you standing on the steps with your eyes closed and your head raised to me and saying "Who is afraid of who?" and the fireworks blooming in the sky on the night of September 26, 2015 , The people around are making a wow sound in amazement. I think my heart must have made such an exclamation sound, but the color that fascinates me is not printed on the sky, but in your eyes.
You were obviously not like this before, and my university life is obviously more alive because of you, how can you say that what you have is just a boring soul?
You take me to eat the food you know, I like to see your "complacent" look when I am full of praise after I eat it, you say that you are an authentic old Changsha, and you want me to hang out with you in the future Well, I called you "big brother" with a smirk, thinking that I would like to be your sidekick by my side all my life. At that time, I realized that the charm I have learned from studying in Changsha for so many years is actually very little, and this little is spread little by little under your leadership, and I silently sighed in my heart that Changsha is the most attractive Both, now that I think about it, maybe your charm is in the majority.
Always halfway through the class, I timidly tell you what I want to eat, and you always take my hand excitedly and say you know where it is, so the two of them skipped class and left immediately. 358 is exclusive to the two of us. When public transportation takes us on the road along the river and the wind blows through your hair, I think that life may be so simple and happy.
You will plan every weekend, even the next weekend, shake my arm and say what to eat, do, and play, so full as if two weekends are not enough, but the things you want to experience together are not enough. There was a line waiting for us. Once you said you were going to take me to a steak restaurant that was delicious and delicious, and you rushed to take me there after class, only to find out that it had already closed for good, so you had no choice but to go to Hokkien. , I laughed at the time that you were closed down. I guess it was so delicious. You seriously said that you like to eat it the most. It is really delicious. After you finished speaking, your face sank again, and with a bit of apology, you said, "I'm sorry, I made you wait so long, and you end up eating such a bad meal. I'll definitely take you there next time!" I was very curious about you. Why do you have to apologize for taking me, a soft-boiled eater, like a big buck, and I don't even think it's hard to eat high-rollers, it's just so-so. And you were like this at the time, with full enthusiasm and energy, always satisfying my thoughts and demands anytime, anywhere. I was that willful child, who always only wanted and didn’t want, but should and shouldn’t? I never thought about it.
Many times when we hit the road, you will tell me the scene and mood of yourself passing by here many years ago. Whenever you describe it, I will also think of such a picture, or a high ponytail with a small schoolbag. girl, or you with short hair in a school uniform? It's always hard to imagine, but I'm sure I want to hug this innocent girl and tell her that someone will love you very much in the future, and the pain and trouble you're going through right now are nothing to mention. . At that time, I always felt that the meeting between the two of us was destined by heaven, and fate was destined to herald a good outcome.
We always looked at each other and made some very naive expressions to each other, or two people got very close to each other and looked at each other's eyes. At that time, I would always sigh in my heart, "Your eyes are so beautiful", "You like it." You have me in your eyes." At that time, I was light and fluttering. If someone clicked and cut it, I would definitely be able to fly high and high like a hydrogen balloon. At that moment, I thought that when I looked at you many years later, the mood must be the same as now, even will be better. At the beginning of love, each has its own beauty. In the movie, the two of them got married and came out of the church with tears in their eyes. They would never have imagined that they would face such a result a few years later.
So you don't have a boring soul, I think we both just forgot a lot of funny moments.
I always tell my friends how many moments you have that make me feel angry, inexplicable, and helpless, but in any relationship, all problems can't be the fault of only one person, and I know you also have a lot of things that you can't forgive me. . At that time I squandered your love for me, taking everything for granted, and I knew I loved you, but I don't think I've ever taken your feelings seriously. A lot of things still need to be measured, and our countless quarrels have basically revolved around the issue of "proportion". Later, you wanted to be quiet for longer and longer, and I became more and more impatient in the process, and the conflict escalated in the process. Looking back now, you were not you at that time, and I was not like me. .
How did it become like this? I have asked myself countless times, why did it become like this? At that time, I was annoyed by my own hindsight and regretted my naivety. Later you asked me "Do you hate me?" I shook my head, I said I love you too much, how can I hate you, you said "I love you too" Like a basket of water, in the end it was still empty.
Later, I tried many ways to remedy all this, and I also wanted to take you somewhere to play, but I always couldn't do it well, and I could always feel your perfunctory and reluctance. We used to have a lot to talk about, and then many times sitting on our 358, I was racking my brains trying to say something to break it all up, and you always had your headphones on, the car driving into the tunnel, the dark As it spread, it devoured us both. We had nothing to talk about before, but now we have nothing to say. I thought that maybe it was just too long, and there would always be a way to solve this. I thought that as long as I was good enough and loved you enough, maybe everything would be okay. It's a turnaround. However no, I have to admit that love is also fragile.
You always have your tenderness, I remember many times when we lay together I couldn’t fall asleep and asked you to talk to me. We even invented the game of guessing the song title and the singer together. At that time, no matter how sleepy you were, you would be strong Accompany me in spirit; we will go to the supermarket together leisurely, two little heads will get together and carefully choose which brand to make tonight's hot pot base, you will be very star-eyed in anything I make, After eating happily, you have to say seriously, "It's really delicious, but my dad's recipes are even better"; you have always been a person who makes me feel very dependent, as small as Renmin West Road and Cai E I'm always confused about that part of the South Road, and I'm often foolishly saying if it's a little bit further ahead, where is it? But I know that I have you, the old Changsha, so I don't need to worry too much, and the painful moments I have experienced since college, I am very grateful that you can accompany me and take me through the difficulties; of course, you also have When you are vulnerable, many times you lean on my shoulder and cry without making a sound, and I can only touch your back and hug you, but I can't say a decent word to comfort you, I can't do anything to make you feel better, I always feel like I'm useless at this time. You can always sleep well on weekends, I like to make you get up by making fun of you in bed, you always hug me half asleep, then I lie in your arms obediently, smelling you The unique fragrance, or I pinched your nose impatiently and blocked your mouth, you just hummed and said let me sleep for a while.
You have a lot of domineering theories that belong to you. You will ask "Do you love me?" I say "I love you", "Then you should listen to me" I ask you "Then do you love me?" You say "If you listen to me, I will love you". Your monthly menstruation seems to be a hassle all the time. In addition to letting me make brown sugar water for you, you always like to squat and say that I want to eat this and that, and you need someone to coax you most at this time. , and I'm always very happy to be such a character, I said I'll go down and buy it for you right away, your eyes rolled and you said, "Forget it, you'll get fat if you don't eat it" I said you're not fat at all, you're fat, You thought about it and said, "Well, go down and buy it for me, and remember to rub my belly when you get it back!" When I was busy with my own business, you always shouted my name on the bed, I Run to see you, you lift your chin and say let me sit next to you, I sit down obediently and you start playing with your phone, I say what are you doing, you smile and say accompany me, I say I won't accompany you I have something to do To do, you frowned and said, "Why are you doing this? I'm menstruating, I'm a little fairy, you should listen to me!" I said, "Then when should I not listen to you?" You shouted, "You You should listen to me anytime!"
You have a lot of pictures that only belong to me, and I am honored to show you in front of me who are fragile and strong, gentle and lovely. And the flammable and explosive part of your character itself may not seem so important in front of these pictures. I loved you so much back then.
The phrase "sorrow is greater than death" is actually quite terrifying. After separating from you, I think both of us are satisfied with each other's status as friends, and we may both secretly breathed a sigh of relief and relieved part of the burden. And I'm also glad that I don't have angina for you, and I don't have to experience that feeling of powerlessness that I desperately try to save but get nothing. I think it's good that my heart is dead, I thought happily, and that's the source of the pain. The day you stood in front of the mirror and talked to me, I looked at your appearance in the mirror and thought you were getting more beautiful day by day. At that moment, you looked back at me, the look that I was fascinated with. "She's so cute, so cute makes me think that I have to spend my whole life with her to be satisfied." This kind of thought occupied my mind for a long time, but at that moment there was nothing in my heart, "Um beautiful" I There is only this kind of objective evaluation, and the mood that made me infinitely rippled and the little deer rammed suddenly became very unfamiliar.
I want to recall the time when I was in the military training, listening to a dull lecture in a crowded auditorium, and we both spoke in low voices. At that time, I was so excited and joyful in my heart. When I recall it now, I always feel that something is behind me, as if I was standing there. A bystander's point of view, not a party. It's so far away. I went shopping with you and happily picked towels and rode a bicycle with you leisurely by the river. The one who warned you to eat the self-service barbecue must be fully cooked before eating it. The one who went to the Jay Chou concert with you Girl, is that person me? Why did her sensitive, fragile and complicated thoughts become so unfamiliar to me at that moment? It is said that the authorities are obsessed with the bystanders, and I think I have finally become pure.
And the real pain is that behind the feeling of nothing, I used to love you so much.
ps: The title is a nonsense hahahahaha (play it), and I really never posted a photo of the two of us together. Quietly post here?
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