Before, I was a person with a strong sense of morality. I remember that when Li Zongsheng divorced Zhu Weiyin for Lin Yilian, I was filled with righteous indignation. I, who liked Lin Yilian, stopped listening to her songs and started listening to Zhu Weiyin’s radio, acting to represent my anger at the derailment! At that time, a classmate asked me curiously: Is this really that serious? I replied: Of course serious! Because they are wrong! Since I was a child, I have seen too many elders’ marriages being involved in the marriage of juniors. As they grew older, I found that although they were not divorced, they had too many tears and unwillingness behind the complaints of female elders. For this reason, I feel that the world is very unfair. Men can do whatever they want, and women have to work hard to maintain surface peace in order to keep a complete family. When I was very young, my world had nothing but right and wrong, black and white, light and darkness. As long as it was wrong, I didn't even want to hear it. It wasn't until many years later that I accidentally watched a Korean drama "Autumn Showers" and it started to change. In this drama, two friends of the same sisters, Zheng Liyuan and Kim So-yeon, fall in love with the actor at the same time. For the sake of sisterhood, Zheng Liyuan reluctantly backed down and planned to hide her love for the actor in her heart for the rest of her life. Unexpectedly, he and his wife Kim So Yeon had a car accident during their honeymoon. He was fine, but his wife became a vegetable. Later, when his wife was in a coma, the actor had feelings with Zheng Liyuan, who had already admired him. The worst of course is when I wake up to find a wife betrayed by my favorite husband and best friend. The movie’s ratings at the time were very low, because the average person’s betrayal of the beloved is hard to suppress, but leaving aside the morality part, I think it’s pretty good-looking. It deeply portrays the struggles of the three people’s hearts. I unknowingly put aside the single point of view of right and wrong, and tried to look at "betrayal" from a different perspective. Therefore, when I watched the popular "Sharp Wife" and the movie "Somethings Borrowed), it is no longer as irritating as it used to be, but can calm down the right and wrong, these minor dramas have a deeper meaning. Of course, "betrayal" is absolutely wrong, but what I want to investigate deeply is: what is the cause of "betrayal"? The story of "Wedding Friends and No Friends" is exactly the same as "Autumn Showers". The smart and intellectual Leiqiu and the beautiful and generous Daxi are good friends who grew up with sisters. Daxi’s fiance was introduced to each other through Leiqiu six years ago, but in fact Leiqiu and him had a good affection for each other, but it is a pity that the two people are too cautious about similar personalities, which makes the two of them have no relationship, which makes them positive. Daxijie made the first step. Six years later, Lei Qiu also naturally became Daxi's bridesmaid. However, she never expected that the love she and him hidden in her heart would unexpectedly become out of control. As a result, the most beloved man and the best sister became the biggest problem in her life. [We betrayed, in fact, we are ourselves] I think this is not just a "betrayal" scene of stealing a friend's man, nor is it a story of deliberately rehabilitating the mistress, but why did they miss each other when they clearly loved each other? Why do they dare not make the choice they want most when they meet? On the surface, Lei Qiu has achieved the happiness of her best friend, but in fact she dare not make the choice she wants most. She is afraid that he will not love her, and that everything is just her own wishful thinking, so she can only watch her favorite. The man turned into a good sister man. The same is true for him who became Daxi's fiance. He obviously loves Leiqiu, who is in perfect harmony with him, but even after chasing out the door of the bar, he still dare not confess to her. The timidity forced him to cut off the beautiful relationship between the two with his own hands. However, the longing dormant deep in the heart will not disappear easily, but will accumulate over time and become more vivid. The deeper the love is, the more it runs counter to reason at the critical moment. Therefore, the two who betrayed their fiancee and their good sisters became bad people in the eyes of others. But I deeply feel that they are not only betraying Daxi, but themselves. In many cases, people can't make the choice they want most. The good thing is that the decision is clearly made by yourself, but the reasons always point to others. As a lawyer, what he really wanted to do was to teach, perhaps because of his father's expectations, which prevented him from becoming a teacher in the end. Leiqiu had a crush on him since college, but after Daxi appeared, she denied her true feelings. For the precious friendship, she gave up the love she wanted most. Another friend of a different surname who has also been guarding Leiqiu for many years is simply a copy of her. In order to prevent other girls from approaching, he would rather refuse love on the grounds of being Gay than admit that he already belongs to him. The inability to make the most desired choice is because we are not brave enough, afraid of being denied, afraid of being rejected, afraid that the originally comfortable world will be destroyed forever. Therefore, I am willing to hide in a world that I think is safe with an ostrich mentality, and even deceive myself and tell myself: people can't be too selfish in life, but be considerate of others. However, in fact, it is difficult to face possible failures and difficulties, which is the real reason for not being able to choose as you wish. As a result, pretending to be rational on the surface, but in the heart is completely divided, thinking that giving up what you want most, you can still find other happy alternatives, but you don't know that a person who cannot be honest with himself will pay a serious price that is difficult to be happy in his life. Because we have all forgotten the most important thing is the life we want. All the lasting good feelings come from the life you really want, including the happiness that everyone wants. If you don't have the courage to make the choice you want most, you can only give up your happiness. Without happiness, you can still live without hindering the other possibilities of life; but without happiness, I think the most important "dream" and "love" of life seem to be false. [Choose to be honest with myself, everything is never too late] Some people say that the ending of the movie is too idealistic, and the actual situation may be like "Autumn Showers". After the two girls who love their sisters broke contact, finally The encounter, but also because of the complete injury before, can only be alienated forever. However, I like that every person who habitually avoids himself later bravely faces the relative change with himself: he finally mustered up the courage to reject an unwanted marriage; Lei Qiu finally bravely retained the love she wanted; Lei Qiu's confidant of the opposite sex finally Confess to her. And I actually shed tears in his confession: "I have always loved you, and whenever you fall in love with others, I love you more; my love is not as intense as overwhelming. Whenever I fall in love with someone, I will only drink rosé grape champagne silently and watch the "Symbol of Love" by myself. 』The point is not his confession Whether they succeed or not does not depend on whether the love they have been squandering for six years can blossom and bear fruit, but that they have overcome the difficulties in their hearts. When they choose not to betray themselves, the god of happiness that has been far away will regain their favor. them. In the future, no matter who you are with, no matter how your life changes, I believe that a person who is willing to be honest with himself will be able to open his heart and live the life he wants the most and love the person he most wants to love. And in the progress of time, slowly repairing the damage caused by cowardice, so that regret is no longer only one face. Love is like this, dreams are like this, all choices made by the heart should be like this. When we are no longer afraid to open our eyes in the dark, we can see the faint light that faintly penetrates in the darkness. And only if you no longer force yourself and abandon yourself, you will have fewer regrets in life. Then we will find that ourselves is the key to deciding whether or not to be happy in this life. I also understand that when I anger others because of my unhappiness, what I hate is actually not brave enough. The hardest thing for me to admit is: I want to face myself, but I always betray myself repeatedly. Passive by nature, often unable to choose, never actively pursue a relationship, almost never decide what I want to do, let alone face the life I really want, as if this is all right, that's all right. But in my bones, I am obviously a very assertive person, but my own opinions are only reflected in the small things, the big things that really affect my life, I hesitate on the contrary, obviously I should go forward, but always stay where I am. Do not move. I think that this kind of me is not necessarily nostalgic or long-lasting, I am just afraid of change, afraid of the predicament that change may bring. Therefore, like Lei Qiu, I want to maintain a superficial balance with myself. But I also gradually realized that whenever I thought I was balanced inside and outside, there was always an extremely powerful force in my body that kept crashing into my heart. I didn't know what to do with myself, so I could only oppose it with irritability or depression. At this moment, I remembered Lin Yifeng once said: "Life is to find a way to get along with yourself for a long time. 』I want to say that only if you can face yourself directly, can you get along with yourself for a long time; if you can get along with yourself, the black hole in your heart will no longer be a bottomless pit; a heart that is no longer a bottomless pit will no longer have a huge one. Scarce. The moment I walked out of the movie theater, I felt refreshed, not because all the troubles disappeared instantly, the troubles were still there, and the roots of badness couldn't be cleaned up in an instant. I just suddenly understood the reason why I was stuck: not because of others, but myself. I can't change anyone, but at least I can change myself. Right and wrong are still indisputable, but the cause of right and wrong is even more important. This is small The things that three movies taught me seem to be minor, but they make me surpass myself invisibly. From now on, even if others betray me, I will no longer betray myself. Originally published in:http://blog.sina.com.cn/aiyung
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